Cold As Ice
by VictoriaVamp
Summary: Crowly brought one more person back when he brought Sam back. He decided to be nice and bring back Jess as well. But Jess can't remeber anything from her past life, as her memory slowly returns will she still love Sam? Or hate him for betraying her?
1. Chapter 1

_Black eyes, something that I could remember from when I woke up were just these black eyes that were starring at me with this look of happiness to them. I could not tell what they wanted from me but it seemed that everything I said came out to be a big blur, I screamed, but it sounded like I was underwater. I tried to ask where I was, but he just smiled and disappeared. . . I know, it sounds a little off but he was just. . . gone. I tried to get up, but my arms were so weak that I just fumbled back onto my back and into the dirt. I screamed at loud as I could, but it still sounded like I was underwater, I yelled and screamed and all I could remember were those black eyes and how they looked. . ._

" _Sam. . . Sam come over here, the screaming is coming from over here." A woman yelled as she started to run toward me. _

_Sam, tall, Halloween, Stanford, cookies, brother, yellow eyes, smiling, a house, fire. All of these things started to fly past my eyes, some were just words and some of the other things were pictures, I could not understand any of it, but all of these things just started to flash before me, I could not understand any of it who same was. . . maybe my brother? I did not know, but I could see a little house and I knew that there was something to do with Standford college. Something about these smiling yellow eyes and on Halloween and chocolate chip cookies. All of this just because of the people that were running this way. . . _

" _Oh my god. . ." The woman said again as she dropped down next to me. " Are you alright?" She said as she tired to help me up. . . my hearing was slightly coming back. _

" _I'm calling 911." The man yelled as he moved around. " Is she breathing?" He yelled._

" _Barley." She said as she looked down at me. " Can you hear me." She smiled. . . she had a very kind smile to her, I nodded and she looked over at the man who must be named Sam. " Hurry." _

_ As the man spoke all I could do was think about my life that I did not know anything about, I wanted to tell them everything I knew, asked if they knew me or who I was, but for that moment I could not speak and did not know what to do. I just laid in the dirt and looked up at the kind woman who was trying to make sure that I kept with her and to make sure that I did not slip into contentiousness. I could see the light coming from the ambulance and everything started to go into a slower motion from there. . . The people that were running to me seemed to be on one of those beach shows that they did the slow walk in, the girl that was holding me seemed like a hero or a victim from a movie and the man named Sam just seemed to be a mystery to me. I just starred up at the dark night and tried to stay with them that they took me into the ambulance and to the hospital. _

They told me that I did not have a name, that they did not know who I was or where I had come from because I didn't not either. They tired looking through a data base with my finger prints, with my blood, anything that they could think of and all of it was coming up with a dead girl, which could not be me. . . They said that there must have been something wrong with their system and they just brushed it off from there, all I could do was think about who I was and where I had come from, who this Sam was that I knew of and how _I _got into Stanford, or if I was just visiting this Sam there. They said that it could take me forever to re-gain all of my memory and that I may never get all of it back because I am blocking something out. Until then they said that I was going to have to stay in the hospital until I could remember someone to take care of me, I said that I knew of a Sam and the Sam that saved me said that he would take me in, they thought maybe he was my Sam and somehow allowed me to go home with him. They gave me the name Jessica because of the dead girl that seemed to have the same prints as me. . . they never really gave me a last name, they allowed me to take up Sam's last name of Milton.

I soon found out that the Sam that had saved me was dating the woman with the kind smile- her name was Hannah, she seemed to be a very kind hearted girl and seemed to always know things to say to make everything work out. Sam was going to ask Hannah to marry him before all of this happened, I could not believe that any of this had happen. . . not to Sam, he just seemed too good to really die the way that he did, I mean it all just seemed to unbelievable to me that he was just jump into the lake outside of our house in the middle of winter and let himself freeze to death, it just did not seem like him at all! He had the perfect life and then boom, all of a sudden he killed himself, the funny thing is that he had this song going on blasted through the house before he went outside. . . He had been playing _Cold As Ice _By Foreigner. It just kind of made me think that it was a little funny that he would do that. I had to be there for Hannah thought, through all of this she needed someone to be there and I guess that I was that someone that just happened to be there.

She said that an FBI agent wanted to ask me a few questions about what happened when I found him but I said that I really wasn't up for it when she came in to tell me, she tried to get them to go away but he just kept on going saying that they needed to talk to the first witness. I really died not want to do this. . . I mean the man that I _just _met that had _just _saved me from death not more then three months ago was now dead and of course I was the first one to follow his footprints. . . which kind of looked more like dragging prints, to the pound to find him waist down in a pound! They all seem to think that I did to it him, like I knew him enough to throw him into a pound. She said he was really cute looking, like I wanted to hook up with someone from the FBI, I just sighed and went downstairs and met the agent sitting at our little table in the kitchen, drinking a beer.

" Aren't you on duty?" I said as I moved from behind him to the other side of the table looking him in the face. He just starred me right in the face for a few seconds with his mouth opened, I wondered if I had something on my face. " Are you alright?" I asked as I sat down.

" Yeah. . . it's just. . . Jessica?" His voice sounded so. . . known to me, like a voice that I have heard in my past.

_Dean. Brother. Taken away. Yellows Eyes. Brady. Making Cookies. Sam and I had met over a year before Dean came back into his life, said that he needed to take Sam away to find their father. Missing on a hunting trip. Sounded wrong. _All of this hit me like a ton of bricks, it all looked so long ago, it was the same face, just a little older and seemed to be a little wore out, but deferentially the same face. This was Dean, the brother of Sam, who I had been rooming with? Maybe he was a friend of mine, things were starting to come together though. Their father had gone missing on a hunting trip, they went away, then someone named Brady came over and made cookies with me? Still those yellow eyes were the thing that did not make sense, they were in my head so vividly. They were this almost golden eyes that were just all that color, no white or anything, just _yellow_. It was like something that I had never seen before, just like the black eyes that I had first woken up to. . . _I must be going crazy_.

" You know me?" I questioned. The flash back must have taken a little bit of time because he had moved from his chair and was now by my side.

" Yeah, but how are you alive?" He asked, he has a really puzzled look on his face. " Wait you don't remember me? I'm hurt." He gave a smirk before it turned back into a serious face.

" No, I do not remember anything. How long have I been gone for? Who I am? Who are you? Who in the hell is Sam. Brady." I asked and he just looked at me in shock.

" How much do you know?" He asked as he sat back in his chair, at the moment Hannah came into the room.

" Is everything in here okay?" She smiled as he looked over at Dean and then to me.

" Just fine Ma'am." Dean smiled as he placed his hands on the table.

" He knows me Han, he knows me and my name!" I smiled as I looked up at her.

" How?" She questioned, her smiled breaking away from her face.

" He's _Sam's_ brother." I said as I looked over at him. " Right?" I looked for reinsurance, he nodded.

" So you remember that?" He said as he looked down at something and then back up at us. " Well you are Sam had been going to Sanford and you two were dating for awhile, but there was this terrible house fire one night, they thought that they had found your body in the burn, they thought that since Sam just got home from. . . from a family trip that it must have been your body. So they really didn't search for you." He said as he looked down at his palms.

" How long ago was this?" I asked as I looked him in the eyes.

" Six years in November." He said as he smiled and looked up a me. He seemed so. . . different from the little memory I had of him.

" How's Sam doing?" I smiled as I had some memories about Sam

I knew that he was really tall, that I can remember because even with heels on I did not match him in height and no matter how hard I tried I could never remember him. I now remember that he hated Halloween and would never dress up for it for who knows what reasons, he just did not talk much about creatures or anything cool like that. He had short brown hair that I always found fun to plan with before we went to sleep. Always had a strong build, I felt so safe in his arms because they felt so secure and just strong. The way that he smiled would always give me a little bit of a shiver because it was so beautiful and he never thought so. I told him once right before I blank that without me he would crash and burn. His hugs were the things that made me the happiest though, they always made me feel safe and happy and like nothing could bring me down. . .

" Well. . . he'll sure as hell be happy to know that you are alive and that you are fine. Trust me on that." He smiled as he looked back down at something and then back up at us.

" Well did he ever ya know. . . get back together with anyone else? Is he married?" I asked as I looked down and frowned. _I hope he's not married. _I thought.

" He's been in a lot of bad. . . really bad relationships. But god no. . . never married." He said as he took a sip out of his beer.  
" Dean. . . did you ever find your father? You both left on a hunting trip and that's when I kind of blank." I sighed as I looked out the window that was behind Dean's head.

" Umm. . . yeah, we did find our father. He was just fine." He said as he gave a little of a smile, but that faded as well.

" Well great. I hope that you three are getting along now. _You know the whole time that we were in college neither one of you came to see Sam, he never really talk about you or even really got calls from either of you_." I said and then it hit me, another flashback.

_Sam and I sitting on the couch of our little apartment and just talking about family, just sitting there and talking. Mostly about mine, how much I missed my parents and how he could come and meet them because they would love him like I did. . . How my dad would pretty much burn him to the bone and then learn to have a taken to him because that's what my dad does and my mom would just love him to pieces because she's heard so much of him. He just smiled at me and said that he really would love to but he never really knows what to say in front of parents and that it may be a really bad thing, but I had talked him into it, I didn't know how but I had and we were going to go during winter break. I tried to ask when I would get to meet his family, knowing that his mom was dead and it was just his brother and dad doing some family business. He just gave me that smile and melted me away and said that I would most likely never get to meet either one of them because they really didn't care enough to be around. But if they did that I would be the first one to know about it because that was what he wanted the most. _

" You okay Jess?" Dean asked, putting down his beer onto the table.

" Just a flashback." I though as I looked at him, I wondered what Sam looked like today.

" She's been getting these a lot." Hannah said as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

" Well anyway, yeah me and Sam are really close now. I mean you can't break us apart really. He smiled as he looked back at something _again_ and then to us. Come to think about it I think that you and me should go and see him, right now." Dean smiled as he got up from his chair, Hannah and I did the same thing.

" Really? Right now?" I don't think so, I'm not even dressed and God knows I much look like a mess." I said as I looked down at myself, an old Rolling Stones shirt and some shorts,_ that was attractive_.

" Trust me, you will look amazing to Sam." He smiled as he started to walk through the house to the front of the house.

" Wait. You aren't even going to ask her about what happened when she found Sam?" Hannah asked.

" Not really, we can come back and do that anytime. This girl has been a missing person or dead for almost six years now. Trust me, if you knew my brother, you would know that this was something that he would _never _believe even if he saw her." He smiled again, but this time it kept to his face as he walked out the front door, waiting for me on the steps though.

" Do you really think that this is a good idea Jessie? I mean you do not even know the dude and now your just going to get into his piece of shit care and go off to god knows where for who knows how long?" She asked as he grabbed onto my wrist.

" Yeah." I smiled as I tried to pull away but she grabbed onto my wrist tighter. " Han, he is the only one that knows about my past, the only one that knows who I really am. I know that he is the person that he is saying that he is, I have a memory about him as well. I know that this seems crazy, but I know that I can trust him. I know that I can." I smiled as I touched her hand with my other one. " Promise I'll be said." I smiled as I grabbed my bag on the floor near the door, it had bear mace and a rape whistle in it, I think that I would be just fine. I go onto the porch and looked at his black, beautiful car in front of the house.

_I watched it leave from the apartment as they were both in it, just leaving and not even looking back to say goodbye. I knew that Sam was going to come back, I knew that he would be back in time for his interview on Monday, he had to because it was his life, but there was just a feeling something was going to go wrong. I tried to brush it off and just keep going on, but it was such a hard weekend without him, I had never been more then a few hours without him before we met and now it was just like we was gone now. I decided as a welcome back present that I would make him some chocolate chip cookies, they smelled so good and I was so proud. When I took them out and finished making the little note to go along with it Brady came over, we talked for a little then. . . _Blank, nothing after that.

" Dean?" I asked as I buckled into the passenger seat of the Impala.  
" Huh?" He asked as he placed the key into the car and it roared to life and then it turned into a beautiful purring sound.

" Sam did go back to college right?" I asked and we drove rather fast down my street and then onto the highway. Dean did not answer me for awhile so I nudged him with my elbow.

" Umm. . . no. He got too caught up in the business to really get back into college. I mean if I could I would allow him to back any day that he wanted, but I mean we all get sucked in once in awhile." He said.

" So all of Sam's family, inducing you, are in the FBI?" I asked as I looked forward through the windshield to see that we were getting off and going into a motel right on the next to the highway.

" Yeah." He said but the tone did not sound right at all, we pulled into one of the parking lots and got out, before we really could enter he just stopped and held the door shut. " Before we go in, expect some weird things to come out of his mouth, really weird things." Dean said as he walked in, and there he was Sam Winchester. I stood there and puzzled over him for a little and then another flashback hit me.

_On the ceiling. Being placed there and not being able to speak. Slashed by the stomach and blood was just dripping all around me, no one could hear me though, I felt dead but I wasn't. I was just hanging there, where Brady had placed me and told me to stay there. I didn't understand how I did not fall, but it felt like two hands were just keeping me up there supporting me. But at the same time it felt as if someone was just putting a little too much pressure on my stomach and just letting all of the blood ooze out of me like was a stress ball that he could play with. There was something off about him, I begged him to stop, he was my friend, why was he doing this? He just smiled, eyes going black and slashed my stomach open wide, threw me without even touching me onto the wall and somehow got me onto the ceiling, turned the shower on and then left. Then Sam came home. . . _After that was just one word that came to mind. _Fire_.


	2. Chapter 2

We were on just another case, it was the second one since I have been back . . . well me being me that is is a better way of putting it. No matter how hard I try and remember no matter how much I try to think about all of the things that have happened, nothing seems to make it come back to me. Dean says that it is a good thing that I don't remember, that I should not go looking for all the answer either because it could kill me, but I can't help it. I need to know all of the things that I have done in the past, all of the things that I do not remember doing, everything, I need to know it all. I feel like I have done things that have been terrible, things that no one should ever do and that no one with a mind. . . or better terms a soul would do. I can feel that much, I don't remember anything, not hell, not being up here, just falling into a hole and that is it. There was nothing else that I could remember from after that time to the time that I woke up in the safe room, it was the only thing that I could remember, I knew that it may take some time for at least some things that I did without a soul to come back, but I did not know if I really even wanted to know what hell was like. . . or if I was ever going to find out what the cage was like. I know that Micheal, with Adam, and Lucifer were in there and that _must _have been mad when they both got locked into the hole, they must have been pissed really. And poor Adam was still in locked in there!

Dean says that I just need to get my mind off of it, maybe watch some TV for a few days or just watch porn or get a whore, none of those things really made me stop thinking about it, not even for a minute. So I did what was the next best thing to do beside thinking about it too often, go hunting with my big brother. Dean did it when he jumped out of hell, so it could not really be much harder for me to do it, no matter what level of the pit I was coming from. First we dealt with a dragon, which was the weirdest thing that I think I have heard of dealing with before, even better then that was the fact that they were keeping virgins so that they could open the place were all creatures go to. Bobby said that they were trying to do something that was really specific but he didn't know because the page was ripped out that we would need to even figure out what they were trying to get out of there. So as Bobby tried to work out the words that we in that little human leathered book, we decided to head to California for a hunt. We really did not what we were going to be dealing with besides that California was the best place to go because there was _always _something that was going on in California, always. Dean had looked up a few placed before we had even gotten into California and we left for a city that was only a few hours away from Stanford. . . Great. It was said that there had been three deaths in the past two weeks, all related to freezing themselves in some way.

We thought that we were just dealing with a ghost that was attacking people around the town, but we did not know why this ghost was doing this or how they were doing it, we just know a few things about the attacks, they all seem to _freeze themselves_, they are found by someone almost right after they die, they are always males in their early to mid twenties, and _Cold As Ice_ is always playing throughout the house or near by car that they are found near by, it was one of the oddest things that I have heard of before. Dean went to talk to the town sheriff while I did some research on the past of this town and all of the people that have died here, most likely relating to a death that has to do with freezing in some way. Most of the things that I had come out with were just basic things that really did not make sense, a few lake suicides but nothing that would really connect to what we were dealing with, nothing that would match all of these people up like they had. I started to look through all of the different things that I could think of to look up, murders, homicides, accidents, anything that I could think of that would not deal with people killing themselves. Then I just gave in and looked up suicides. It seemed like there was noting even in this either, nothing that would connect and nothing that would do any good. But then I found something and it had only taken me five hours to find it!

It was a woman that was only sixteen when she killed herself by placing weights to her ankles and jumping into the lake that was connected to all of the victims houses. It was said that she killed herself, just like the present victims, meaning that she most likely didn't do it herself, that something was just thrown her over. She died in nineteen twenty, her name was Amelia Hunt, she was said to by having a intimate relationship with a man that was twenty five, the same age as most of the men that had died, and when he decided to go and cheat on him she had enough and killed herself when he refused to break it off with the other woman because the other woman was now pregnant. Now that most likely means that most of the men were cheating on their girlfriends with another woman and now have gotten the other girl pregnant. It would make since now that I really think about it, they all seemed to be working late almost every night and wouldn't come home till about one in the morning, almost seems like a little too much work. I called Dean up and told him the news.

" Dude, great work. I would have never even thought of something like that." He said, I could hear that he was eating something in the background. " Do you want me to pick up something for you while I'm at Burger King?" He said through the phone, I thought for a minute, it had been a while since I had ate last and I was starving.

" Yeah, get me anything." I yawned through the phone.

" Great, I'll just go and ask a few questions to the person who had found the last victim. . . Jessica Milton. _What a combination of names._" He chuckled through the phone

" Shut up." It still really hurt whenever someone really brought up Jessica, I knew that was what he was talking about too.

" Okay grouchy. Get some sleep too. You really sound like you need it." He said as he hung up.

I looked over at the bed and then to back were I was sitting I had two options to pick from, going back investigating the case and try to find out as much as possible, or going to sleep for a little, it only took me a few minutes to decided. While I had been trying to research on this girl as much as I could, my eyes started to slip and making me close them, this little battle only went on for a minute before I stripped off my shirt and jeans and got into the little bed and let myself go to sleep. It was well needed to be honest, I hadn't slept since we had gotten here and when I had slept before that was only for about one . . . maybe two hours, tops. I know that I should be sleeping for days and days before even thinking about waking up, but there was just too much to do and too little time for sleep that I thought it would just be best to get into the habit again of never sleeping until a job was done. It was something that I had been brought up on living with and it was something that I was just used to doing, I needed to get back into it before it was doing to be too late.

I never had any dreams. . . well since I had got back there had been no dreams, I guess that it was something that I was still getting used to being able to do since I had gotten back form hell. Maybe it was just going to take a little while to be able to re-gain, hell maybe I would never be able to have dreams again. I guess that in some ways that was the best thing in the world- no more dreaming of people dying before it happened, no more terrible nightmares about Jessica or Ruby or Lucifer, not more of anything of that. Nothing that would keep me up for nights upon nights because I did not want to think of those things again. Anytime that I would dream of Jessica would be the worst times of my life because I would feel like I betrayed her, that I needed to be able to repay for everything that I had put her through, which would make me feel like I would need to be stronger. Which made me think that I was going to need demon blood again. Those night I would refuse to sleep again for days, sometimes even up to a week before Dean would knock me out and make me sleep for almost a day because of how hard he had hit me before. He said that he was just being brotherly, I think that it was that and it was a great way for him to take out his anger.

I did not know what hit me, but I knew that something had when I woke up. I could hear Dean talking to someone outside but I thought that he was just trying to get some girls number. Most likely he would not even come into this room, he would just go back to her room and wont be back until tomorrow at this time, with messed up hair and desperately needed a shower. We would not get back to the case until around four in the morning tomorrow at this time and it would all because Dean found a hot chick and needed to get to at least third base with some chick. I don't think that I would ever do that during a case that we needed to figure out, maybe after, but never during a case. I could hear him trying to get into the room, trying to get in, I guess that his line hadn't worked out like he thought that they would and now he was retreating back into our room. I just turned away from the door and closed my eyes, going back to sleep.

" Sammy! Get up!" Dean shouted at me as came into the room. " There's someone here to see you." He said in his cocky tone.

" Just go away Dean, I just need to get a little sleep before we get back to the case." I moaned as I put the pillow over my head.

" No really. You want to see this." He said and he whispered something, _shit there really was someone here with him_.

" _Sam?_" That voice. That tone. I knew it from anywhere, but it couldn't be. . . no. I turned around so fast that she looked shocked.

There she was, more beautiful then ever standing there in front of me. I could not believe it when I saw here there, but I mean she was there. She just smiled as I stood up, looking like a fool with my mouth wide opened, but I really did not care all that I could do was state into her beauty. She looked just the same as the day that I had left her to go hunting with Dean, her smile was much brighter and her eyes were just the same color that they had been the same day that I had first met her and the way that she was standing reminded me of the last Halloween we spent together. All she could do was stand and smile as th only thing that I could do was stand with my mouth wide open, looking like a fool. She was playing with her hands and keeping such eye contact with me that I felt a little embarrassed that I was only in my boxers.

" Jessica." I finally broke the silence as I rushed over to her and hugged her so tightly, lifted her off the ground and spun her around like in those crappy teen movies. She smiled smiled and held onto my so tightly that I thought that she was going to kill _me_. " How?" I asked as I let her go back onto the floor, but not letting go of her.

" I really couldn't tell you, Dean says that it's been six years and I can only remember that past few months, but I mean it will all come back before long. I mean I remember so much just by seeing _you_!" she smiled so brightly that I just held onto her tighter. She moved her head into my chest and all I could do was move my head on top of hers and smile, it still smelled just the same as it always had.

" I don't know what to say." I said, but she didn't move an inch from where she was.

I do not know what she was doing and I really could care less. Her hand was going up and down my side, just moving there and not really moving any part of her body besides that. Her head as so much on my stomach that I thought that she could not move it any closer without suffocating herself. She just smiled and stayed there and didn't move any part of her before that. Her hand on my side was amazing feeling, it was in an odd way it reminded me of old times but it also felt so good that I knew that I could not move from there because it would not feel right. We just stood there as Dean just smiled so widely from his place against the wall that none of us really did not talk. It took us awhile to realize that we were going to have to tell Jessica the truth before Dean just moved himself out of the room and Jess and I moved to the bed, not really doing anything just got onto the bed with her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her.

" Sam?" She asked from her place, looking up with her big eyes of her and looked just as cute as she ever had.

" Yeah?" I smiled as I kissed her forehead.

" Tell me what really happened. I know that I did not get out of the fire alive. I know that there was something to do with a man that had yellow eyes and a ceiling and someone that was named Brady and something about my stomach being slashed opened and a fire and you. But there is a lot that I am not too sure on you know? I don't know how I got up on the ceiling or how I stayed up there either! I do not know those this yellowed eyes man is or how he even relates to me at all! I know that there is a black eyes man when I woke up as well. But I do not really know anything else. Please tell me, and tell me the truth." She whispered as she moved up a little closer to me, putting the blanket from the bottom of the bed up with her.

" That really is for a different time Jess. We just found each other again and-" She had cut me off before I could say anything else.

" And now is better then ever to tell me what they hell had happened, I know that somehow I had died and now, six or however many years later, somehow I am alive and kicking and I really need to know how the hell am I back? Please just tell me!" She had always been so stubborn now that I look back and think about it, she could have always got her way out of me with enough time to put into it.

How did she know all of these things though, had all of these things passed through and back into her mind before now. How much did she really already know about her past and about all of the things that I had lied to her about, I really did not want to talk to her about all of it right now. I just wanted to stay here and to just lay with her for now and forever, to protect her the way that I should have before and to keep her away from everything that could harm her, I know that I am going to tell her about all of the things that are out there and to make sure she knows how to _protect herself _from them, but right now was not the time for any of this, it was a time for us to just be us and for us to relax together. It was a new start for the both of us, I really don't want to tell her anything about her past besides the basic fact about herself that she really does not know, or that I think that she does not know.

" Where do you want me to start?" I asked, giving in only a little.  
" Did I die Sam?" Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

I knew that I should have been able to put the pieces back together but I mean how was I supposed to be able to realized that a _demon _was telling the truth, anything that he said is usually bull shit of even worse. The one time that he even thinks about saying something that is truthful, I just go off and think and it's all fun and games till we find out that he had really brought back one friggen person! I knew that I should have looked into it more right from the very beginning- that I should have made sure that no one else had just popped up in the past few months from anywhere from three months to around nine because who knows how many people that damn bastard could have brought up at one time or another. I should have thought about it right from the beginning, I should have been more opened to it, I should have been thinking more like Sam would have been thinking.

She seems to be a little more stable then Sam is thought, she seems to have a full soul intact and everything that goes along with it. Besides not remember much from wherever it is that they had placed her in when her time had come, she seems to be just fine. I think that it will be just fine it she started to remember things, I doubt that Crowley would ever care enough to put a wall up in _her _head to make it so that she wouldn't just blow up without a trace. He just brought her back to make sure that would wouldn't roast his ass, too mad we hadn't thought that he was telling the truth, too bad that damn Cas had burned all of his bones before we even got the chance to ask him about it more. Thank _god _that Sam does not remember any of this stuff happening because I think that he would jump back into hell himself and try and _kill _Crowley.

I remember all of it like it was yesterday, all of the things that were said and all of the things that we had gone through. The fact that Meg was working on our side. . . kind of, to get rid of Crowley, the Cas and Meg making out thing. . . that I need to get permanently erased out of my brain, that our own blood, our own family was working against us to get back Mom, who would never be coming back, and then were was the deep hear to heart we had to the big bad demon. We just stood there as if to say that he did not have a care in the world about anything that was going on, he just smiled and started to talk with that cocky little accent of his that I just wanted to punch off. He didn't know that we had placed a devils trap right over him and all of his little hounds were most likely dead by now, but none of that really mattered, we had him right were we would want him for that time. It was right then just Meg, Sam and I. None of us really caring on what he had to say.

" Sam, you know that little curse isn't going to work on _me_." He smiled as he put out his arms. " King of hell remember." He almost hissed out.

" I really could care less about if it sends you back or no, I know that it must hurt like hell having yourself being dragged through that body." Sam smiled as he kept repeating it and repeating it over and over, in some way Meg was not being sent to hell, damn. That when Cas came back into the room with something that we had long been awaiting for.

" What do we have here, a little birthday present maybe. Oh common Castiel, you really shouldn't have, you know that the moment that I get out of here I will come back and rip you throat out for a better present." Crowley smiled as he looked over to see what Cas had in the burlap sack.

We knew that it would be easier for Cas to go and find out where Crowley's gone would be just because of how fast he could do it! If he could search a whole city for something as small as a stick in less then five seconds, he would be able to find something like some old bones in no time, he was pretty smart when it came to things like that, it was one of the only things that he was really smart at. Who knows where he had found these that this time, maybe China, Crowley seemed like he would be a kind of guy to go and hide them in a place that he thought that no hunter would try and find them in- maybe even North Korea. I have heard that was like a place for demons to go in a little mini vacation, which is also why no hunter dares to go in there- mass numbers of demons plus few amounts of hunters equals no hunter will ever be stepping foot into there no matter how much someone pays them. Cas smiled a little because he knew that he had done well as he took out a skull from the bag and showed it to Crowley.

" I think that it is much more then just a little present to _you_." He smiled as he placed- move like dropped it back into the bag.

" Where did you find those?" Crowley hissed out as he starred sharply at the bag.

" You really should keep those locked up in a better place, anyone could have found them." Cas said bag with a little smile.

" Now we have a deal to make." I smiled as I came into the conversation a little. " So you go back and get Sam's soul and we wont smoke your bones."

" _Or he could just stay in hell._" Meg hissed from her place behind me.

" No deal." He said through all of this. " I will not go back into the bloody cage just to _try _and received that damn soul of his! One time is enough to last a whole damn lifetime. I will _not _do that again, besides that I have gotten into him, as little as it is, that enough could kill him! Do you really want to take the risk of placing it _all _back in there!" Crowley said, I could just see that Sam was starting the change the way that he was thinking about his soul.

" Just go and get it back." I said through my teeth, how hard was it to see that this was the only way that he was going to be walking out of this place?

" No. I will not do it because that would be too much of a risk for _me_!" He said as he crossed his arms.

" Fine. . ." I said as I took out my lighter. " If you really want it that way..." I said as I tried ti light it up.

" Wait though." He smiled as we all turned back to him. " What are you going to do because you don't even know if I had brought more of your loved one back now do you? I could have just scattered them all around the world. . . let around the US and you would never know where to find them now would you." He smiled a little more as he turned to Sam. " Epically you boy, I brought you back and extra special gift as your welcome back present. Now I know that it is a little late and that it may be a little burnt from the trip up here, but she is in good shape. Believe me." He smiled a little more as Sam moved a little closer to him.

" _Who_?" Sam hissed as he got so close to coming in the trap that I stepped a little closer to him to make sure that he wouldn't do anything crazy.  
" Well now you will never know if you just burn me to a crisp now will you?" He smiled even wider, knowing that he had Sam in for the kill.

" Sam just step back, he didn't bring back anyone else." I said as I pulled him back a little more. " Could he have?" I asked Meg.

" Well Yeah." She said with an attitude. " He _is _the king of hell and can pull anyone out of it that he really wants to, let alone to say just a little human girl!" She said with her eyes starting to budge out of her head, as if we knew all of this by heart.

" Is he of any use from now on?" Cas asked from behind all of us.

" No." I said as I turned to see him burning the bones all apart.

What the hell was he thinking? We could have gotten more information out of his at a later time if we really tried to get him into it. We could have done so much more with him then just letting him burn like that. Cas pretty much just burned the last bit of hope we had to get Sam's soul back into him, all of it was just burned to bits just like those bones that he was burning. I wanted to punch him so hard that I knew that he, and I, was going to be hurting for the next few months after it! I wanted to hurt him so badly that he would not move for a week because of the beating that I wanted to place on him, all of it I wanted to do to him because he just pretty much signed the deal to make my brother a monster for the rest of time! I should have been more careful with the words that I had used- I know, but Cas had no damn right in just burning them up! I don't friggen get why he would just think that since he is no use anymore that we would just do ahead and kill him like that!

" What the hell was that about Cas?" I hissed out.

" Well you said that he was-" I cut him off before I really would go and hit him.

" Never mind!" I said as I hit the table that was next to me and then looked around to see that Meg was gone. " Well at least we knew that she was smart enough to know when to leave." I smiled, anther day I would have my chance to kill her... _again_.

" What?" Sam said and then looked around and understood what I was talking about.

" And I was going to give you an hour with her before killing her off." I smiled and looked over to Cas before leaving the room and walking straight out the door.

It was much better out in the fresh air I have to say, I know that it was still on my mind on who he thought that we thought that he had brought back for Sam. All of the people that Sam has had a relationship flew past my eye, from beginning to end, all of them like they were all in a little movie together. First it was Jess, beautiful and the one that Sam would want more then anything in the would, but from what I knew from her she was much too good for hell. Next was Madison, she was only a one timer, but I think that he really loved her because of how much he hated the fact that he had to kill her when he had to, he had really made a connection with her. The next person that popped into my head was that damn bitch Ruby. All that I could see with her was that damn smile of hers that was always telling me the same thing, that she had won over Sam and made him the way that he is today. I hope that if he had brought someone back that it was anyone besides that bitch, I would have to kill her again before Sam got his hands all over her, in many different ways.

" Dean?" Sam said from behind me, I looked up, but did not look him in the eyes.

" Yeah Sammy?" I asked, trying to make it seem like that hadn't _just _been thinking about him.

" Do you really think that he would have brought someone back?" He asked.

" Oh, hell no!" I smiled as I looked back up and him and hit him once on the shoulder. " If he had been smarter he would have and made sure we knew where she was or who she was or if it really had been a she or not. That was just his final plea bargain to see if we would take the bait and go after him like that. In which we didn't." I smiled thinking highly of us.

" Oh... Okay then." He said as he looked down, he believed him! That fool!

" You thought that he was telling the truth... didn't you?" I asked as I looked to see Cas coming out from the building.

" Only for a little." He mumbled like a child. Dammit Sammy.

" We'll don't." I said as I walked away from him and went to Cas, Sam following close behind.

" What do you think that we should do with all of the monsters in there?" I asked looking back at Sam.

" Well we can't just leave them in there or set them free." Sam said.

" True. Cas?" I asked looking at him.

" I will do it." He said in that tone of his as he walked back into the building.

The two of us walked back to the car and started to drive away, knowing that if Cas needed anything that he would just show up again and scare the shit out of us like he always did, then disappear just like always when we couldn't help him. I was thinking about going right back to Bobby's, maybe taking the long way back and going a different route, maybe trying to stop at Lisa's on the way through- but what the hell am I saying, she would never take me back again for what I did to Ben. It wasn't like I had really been trying to her him either, I was really trying to protect him was the only thing. . . Lisa would never understand that though, she just thinks that I tried to hurt him and that is it, maybe I should try and call her again, maybe she would take it better if I called one last time and begged my heart out to her. . . but then again maybe that'll just make her hate me more. I looked down at my phone and then back at the road, knowing that I was just going to take the regular way back to Bobby's and not even pick up my phone to try and make an attempt to get her back. I would never get her endangered again, never let her have the risk again.

I started to think over the people that it could have been again, this is what made it so off guarding when I saw Jess that day, I started to think that maybe Crowley had already brought back Mom. That maybe that was Sam's little gift, having that mother that he had never had before, being able to have all of that, it would make it so that he would never have to give Samuel anything again and he would have given Sam and I the thing that we had always wanted. Sam would have the mother that he had never even had in the beginning, I would have the mother that I had only had for the first few years of my life, but never really got to know, and damn Samuel would have his daughter back. We would all be far too happy to even think about killing the man that had brought back our own mother. We would never have the heart to be able to do that to him and he would seem like the hero again. In his mind everything would go back to normal and all would be happy again. Too bad that none of that was real and he would never have done that anyway because he wanted to keep Samuel stringed up for as long as he could. He would have never been able to do that with me or Sam thought, we were much to strong to even think that a demon would keep his word, or to go against blood like that, no matter how little we knew the person.

So I started to drive west to Bobby's place. Knowing that he would be able to give some light on all of the things that had just happened and all of the new Sam drama that I would be needing to tell him about. The whole car ride was mostly filled with either silence or Sam pretty much talking to himself whole I focused on the rode in front of us. The whole time I was thinking about how great it would be to have Mom back and how many things that she would be able to fix just because she was there, I didn't now why it kept coming into my mind but it did. Then whoever I would really get into too much thought about Mom I would have another thought. Lisa. That girl was always on my mind now, I know that I really love her, which is why I am going to keep her safe. It was the only thing that I could do. The whole ride I just kept listening to my music, and sometimes Sam. Letting all of the things that I had witnessed hit me in silence. None of it had really made since just then, but now it all came together so well.


	4. Chapter 4

In a way all of this made sense to me, the fact that there was such a thing like demons and angles and ghost and vampires, all of it made since to me. I knew that in a way there had to have been something that had brought me back, the fact that I was brought back from the _dead _made it seem like it must have been something out of the normal to begin with. When Sam started to tell me all of these things, I just knew that he must be telling the truth, because somehow on the inside I knew that he would never _really _lie to me anymore about these things, it was just a sense that I knew was correct. He said that it must have been a demon that had brought me back, most likely the same one that had brought him back, although he did not say when it was that he had died, he did say that he had died and then would not go into any other details other then that.

He looked so much different from the memories that I have been having of him. There was something about him that was broken- part of him has become a completely different person since I have last seen him- or remember seeing him. The way that he spoke had become different, it had more a an edge to it and was a lot less friendly, as if he had isolated himself from the world. His hair was much longer too, it looked wild and not groomed the way that he had it made him look like one of those male lions from Africa. He would not look me in the eyes when we started to talk about all of it, he just looked down at the ground and wouldn't even look up for a second while he was remembering the past, he was much to hurt to look up.

Sam said that he had lied to me from the beginning about most of his life. That he had never rally gone to one school for more then two weeks and was lucky to have even been in college. That his family's business was really going around and hunting all of these bad things and keeping other people safe, saving them in a way. He had wanted to get out of it, which is why he came to college, but I guess that a demon- the yellowed eyed one that had other plans for him and after I had died Sam got back into the _business_. He said that they had found his father and they had started to hunt down the demon with yellow eyes, but during this time something had happened to his brother and I guess that his dad had sold his soul to bring Dean back. After all of this had happened he told me that he had gotten into worse things, thing that he never should have gotten into, but a woman- a demon, had gotten him into this thing that he would not talk about and made him do even worse things. He looked so hurt when he said all of this, he told me how sorry he was for all of it and then he finally looked up at me.

" Soon after that is when we started to really get into hunting, for over a year that was all that we could do was take down what was in front of us. All because I had let the devil out of his cage in hell and allowed him to run around up here. He was planning on destroying the world and around that time we had no plans on how to kill him or get him back into his cage, we had nothing. When an archangel, who we had thought for the longest time was a trickster, something that just trick and most likely killed people, a pagan god, told us that if we could get all of the horsemen rings together that we could shove him back into the box. Then the fourth horsemen-" He was telling me almost a story and I was like the child listening, so entertained.

" _Death_?" I asked, wanting to make sure that I had the name right.

" Uh huh. All about how use the rings and then just _gave _Dean the ring, not even wanting to kill him or anything. He said that he did not want to serve someone as childish as Lucifer and told him to make sure that even if I had to allow Lucifer to come into my body and the try and take over my body that Dean would allow it to happen. Pretty much saying that Dean would allow me to throw myself into the pit, to throw myself into the cage with Lucifer. It was terrifying to thing about it that way, that I was going to have to allow Lucifer into my body and then try and fight for my own damn body back. Even worse then that was trying to think about going to hell and being in the worse place in hell!" He said as he sat up from the bed.

" Well what happens next did you even allow him in Sam?" I asked, so into the story that I could not care about anything else. He laughed a little.

" Well we went and I allowed him in. I really thought that I was going to be able to take him on, that my powers were going to be able to allow me to win this battle- I was wrong. He took over and just left Dean in that room alone. I could not believe anything that was happened, I tried and tried for almost a full day of right fighting and fighting with him. I mean I never took a break of trying to re-gain my body, not even for a moment. He tried to make it so that I would be happy with what he was doing, letting us- well more like him, kill a bunch of demons from my past, people that I had thought were friends but tired out to be demons and that didn't help, I still wanted to rip his and kind of my own throat out. But then it was time for the battle, time for everyone to show up and most likely for the end of the world to happen!" He sighed as he moved a lock of hair from his face before starring up at me with his big eyes. " Dean showed up about a minute after Micheal had shown up, Dean playing his loud music as normal. He tired to distract him and during that time a bunch of other things had passed I mean everything that happened, I felt like it was me doing it, like I had been the one to kill all of my friends and family. Lucifer snapped Bobby's neck, not even caring another, blew Cas up, then started to beat on Dean. That was when I- well he looked up and saw those little army men in the back of the Impala." He stopped for a second.

" Ya know I saw those when I was in the car, you had one of those when we were in Stanford didn't you?" I smiled as I started to have another memory flashback.

" _Sam why do you even have this little thing, it looks like something that you would see in a little kid movie. Where the good guy keeps it until the end of the movie and then give it to his own son." _I had laughed with him.

" _Maybe I just like to keep it to remind me of one the good memories about my past. Hell- maybe I will give it to my kid, how would know you or not?" _He smiled as he took it from my hand and place it back on the coffee table.

" _Well what are you going to be for Halloween Sam?" _

" _I doubt I'm going to be anything besides me, you know how much I love that holiday." _

" _Well don;t be a grouch about it. You could be a vampire."_ I had stopped to look at him. _" Well maybe not a vampire. . . hmm. . . maybe you could be a army man. That would be pretty sexy." _ All he did was laugh about it.

" _No."_

" _Oh common Sam." _

" _No. But I can't wait to see you in your sexy nurse outfit. Now go, your gonna be late for you class." _He had smiled before kissing me.

" Yeah, well I saw that in the car and I had enough strength and it just brought me to become me. I took the rings out of my pocket and then I jumped. After that is all blank though, I have no memory of anything that had happened after that, I would love to know, but I guess that I just should not try to remember?" He said before moving a little closer to me.

" Why?" I asked.

" Because I guess that I was walking around without a soul for over a year and then Dean made some kind of deal with the horsemen Death and then he went down into hell and brought back my soul and put it in but then put a wall up in my brain so that I wouldn't remember. Dean says that if I try to remember and _scratch at the wall_, that I could just die from it is some horrible way. But I have a feeling that I have done terrible things, things that should never be done by anything and I just need to know what it is that I have done!" He sighed as he looked down again, I picked up his chin to make him look at me.

" It's not like you can remember any of it because it wasn't _you_. It was your body but it was someone that was completely different, it was not you. It was a new person, almost a new form of you. If it had been you then you would remember all of it, you would have been able to stop yourself from doing those terrible things that you think that you have done, because you know that they are wrong. Just because it was your body doesn't mean it was you." I know that with Sam you have to repeat things, it something that I had to do a lot at Stanford.

The rest of the night was dealt with doing a lot of little things, kissing, cuddling and mostly watching TV. Although some of the time I felt his hand try and slip close and close to my inner thigh it was in a loving type of way. He was not pressuring me to do anything with him, he was just kind of showing that he cared and was almost open to anything that I was open to doing, which was not a lot a t that time. There wasn't a lot of the TV, just add on how to get skinnier or on how to get more muscles in just three workouts a week. Nothing that would really impress us too much, we just cuddled up and fell asleep for the night.

" Well don't you too just look so damn cute!" Dean said in the morning when he came back. God knows where he had been last night.

" Huh?" Sam huffed from above me, slowing rubbing his eyes and adjusting from being woken.

" I found something out about the case." Dean said as he placed a fast food bag onto the little table in the room.

" Case? You guys were really working on a case here? You think that Sam... well the Sam that I lived with has something to do with the supernatural crap that you guys deal with? Like what?" I asked as I got up, I was always more of a morning person then Sam.

" _You told her everything?" _ Dean hissed to Sam.

" Yep." Was all Sam said as he slid out from under me and went to the bag of food.

" Well it turns out that Sam M, he was engaged for a Rebeka in Texas. They were going to be married in May if it hadn't been for him _killing himself_." Dean smiled, he must have been so proud of himself.

" Wait, what have I missed. You're saying that Sam was going to be married and was cheating on this Rebeka chick with Hannah?" I asked.

" Yep and even better then that, Rebeka is three months pregnant." He said, I looked over to find that Sam was digging in to a breakfast burrito, I wanted to laugh so hard because he was just digging into it. " Even better then that is that the other two guys were both cheating too, the original girls are also both three months pregnant." Dean stated.

" So what does this have to do with the crap that you guys deal with daily?" I asked looking over at Dean so I wouldn't laugh too hard.

"Well, there was this Amelia chick that had been living around here and she had killed herself because she had been having this affair with this man and she became jealous of the other guy and asked him to break up with the other girl. He said that he couldn't because his first girl was pregnant, now I'm starting to think that the girl had been exactly three months pregnant, just like the girls now. Meaning that this Amelia is pissed and is now taken revenge on all of the men that a cheating when they have a pregnant woman waiting at home." He said.  
" Did you figure out all of this on your own Dean?" Sam said as he swallowed.

" Well with a little help from the Internet yeah." He said as he sat down and pulled out two more burritos and looked over at me. " Ya hungry?" He asked and I nodded, he threw one over to me.

" So where is she buried?" Sam asked.

" Why?" I wondered.

" Because we have to salt and burn the bones to make sure that the ghost wont kill anyone else. It pretty much kills the ghost and makes it so they can't come back." Dean said after he took a bite out of his food.

" Oh." I said looking down at mine, it didn't look so appetizing after thinking about_ that_.

" And it says that she was cremated and that her ashes are now all over the water that connects all of the houses." Dean says.

" Damn." Sam said. Then it hit me again, hard.

_Screaming, pain. The would rip and tear and just smash your body all around until there was nothing left but a piece of you there and another on the other side of the fire. I screamed every time and it would just make them happier and happier. They loved it when I screamed because it showed that I was in pain. They would laugh the whole way through as long as I would scream like that. I trashed around the chains and tried so hard to make them stop. I would beg and beg for them to stop, pleading wouldn't help and threat just was worthless. Yellow eyes. They were the ones that stared down at my the most, laughing the whole way through, everyday he would tell me a different story about Sam. _

" _Did you know that he doesn't care that you are gone. He has become too much of a monster, like me, to really care about you anymore. He has a new girl, someone more powerful and would not get killed so easily like you. This girl allowed him to become more of a monster and she knows all of the things that he has done in the past, he told her everything. How does that make you feel?" He smiled, looking down at me.  
" Just stop!" I begged, I could feel the tears being placed into my cuts, not even the salt water hurt anymore. _

" _Did you know that he is going to set our god free? That he is going to become such a terrible person that he is just going to really become one of us. He's gonna be a demon soon honey!" He smiled as he dug his knife deep into me, I screamed, he laughed. _

" _But then again you would not know anything about us or about the terrible things that I have already made Sam into. See when I shoved you up onto the ceiling it was all for a good reason. See I needed Sam to become strong for me, to be in top hunting shape so that he would win this little tournaments that I was doing. He wouldn't have even been able to do that with little old you around now would he?" He asked as if I was a baby. He stuck the knife into my face and spun it around a little. _

" _Stop! Stop!" I pleaded. _

That's when I came to... kind of. I could feel that I was bleeding from the face and from the stomach, right in the places that the yellow eyed demon that stuck the knife into me though. I screamed and was trashing around on the bed, Dean was trying to keep me down as Sam just starred a little at me. Dean was yelling something to Sam, but all he could do was stare. I was in that haze again were everything was blurry, I could tell what was going on, but I was screaming, it was like I was in my body, but was just little cruise control do everything. I could feel that my wound in my stomach was getting deeper by the second, as I placed my hand onto my stomach, Sam pulled it away and started to apply pressure to it, making me scream harder and making Dean push down harder. Then someone else came into the room, something with a tan trench coat, someone who hadn't been there before. I starred at him as my body went crazy. He looked so different from all of the other people that I have met since I have been back, so... graceful in a way.

" Move." He hissed as he moved Sam from where he was. " Her wall is crumbling fast." He said in such a deep tone.

" How do we fix it?" Sam said frantically.

" We don't." The man said.


	5. Chapter 5

I kept coming in and out of the real world, I could tell when I was in the real world and when I was back in hell, back into that terrible place. Once moment I would open my eyes and I would see Dean, pacing the room looking over and me and then to Sam. There was Sam, holding my hand tightly, all of the muscles in his hand were tensing up with every trash I made. Then there was this new man that had just appeared into the room, he just starred at me, his blue eyes it seemed were looming into my soul, he scared me more then anyone that I had met, I wondered if he was a demon or not. Whenever I came to, our eyes would be glued to one another, it was like he didn't even need to blink. Then right as I thought that it was all over, I would be rushed back into that terrible other world.

It always seemed to be the same person that I would awake to, the same person would always be smiling and awaiting me again. The smell of burning flesh would always suffocate my noise and make it nearly impossible to breath, I could feel as my lungs began to die inside. Sometimes he would be holding a knife, other times he just liked to use his hands when he did it. I could tell that he really had something against the people that I knew when I was on earth, the people that I had truly loved. . . . one person in general. . . Sam. He would always be bringing him up, always be telling me different stories about how he had killed Sam's mom, or how he had planned all along to kill me, how it was all his plan on me meeting Sam, it was always something new. He said that he liked how much cheek I had, how much spunk there was about me, it gave him something to look forward to and made him happy that he was there to rip me up, to tear down the spunk I had, inch by inch.

He was a very cold person, cold in all ways. His eyes were so golden that they almost made you forget that he was evil, they almost felt conforming, in a scary way. The way that he told stories just made you feel like you were listening to a horrible poet try and tell an amazing piece of poetry. He loved to talk about the way that he had set me and Sam up, that it was his grand piece of artwork in the Sam file. He was too in love with Sam for his own damn good, I told him that once I remember that very well. He just smiled a little as he tilted his head, his eyes glowing through the fire around us, and jammed his whole fist through my torso. I could feel myself scream, I could hear it through the fake world and go into the real world.

I was trashing again, my body coming up from the bed that they had placed me on, it must look like I was being taken over by a demon in those old horror films. I could hear that I was screaming things as if I was still in the other world, it just sounded so vague that I could not even understand what I had been saying. I just knew that soon that trench coat man would come over and make all of the pain go away, everything would just go into rewind in my body and I would be normal again. . . well my body would be normal at least. I tried to get myself to come back to just the real world, to just stop with these memories and to just come back to this world. I tried to hard that I could feel myself cry, I could feel everything around me crumbling around me. I felt as if I was dying.

" _How long will this last for Cas?" _Sam asked. Everything sounded like I was underwater and I was still trying to listen to the people above.

" _Anywhere between two seconds and forever." _The man said in his dark tone as he looked down at me. _" She is a very strong girl, she may last." _

" _May?" _Dean said as he came over to me. _" Cas tell me that you are joking." _

" _No." _

" _Well why does she keep bleeding like she is? Where are all of these wounds coming from?"_ Sam asked as he looked over at me, his eyes seemed so hurt.

" _Hell." _He seemed to have the answer to everything.

" _Hell?" _Dean asked.

" _Yes. She's reliving all of the terrible things that she has gone through. Let's just hope that she does not remember the time that you both met up." _He blue eyes man said.

" _Wait what?" _Sam asked.

" _She was the first person that Dean got to torture when he was in hell, she was the one that got the most pain while Dean was torturing." _ The man whispered.

**Dean. Hell. The first. Most pain. Screaming**. All of this hit me like a ton of bricks. . . most more like a tractor trailed coming full speed at me, I could feel myself being dragging back into hell, feeling myself as I opened my eyes and looked at Dean right in the eye. He looked so shocked as he looked down at me and then back around the room as if there was someone else in here, it was just me and him though. He did not say much through, he just walked over to one place in the room and brought back at long, sharp knife. He did not look me in the eye as he brought the knife right into my inner thigh. He let it linger there as he moved away for a second.

" Why are you here? You were a good girl, you were never supposed to go here. I even knew that and I knew you only for about a day before you died! How could you possibly deserve _this_?" He said as he took out of knife from my thigh.

" Help!" I screamed through this world and into the other world.

" I can't." He whispered as he drove the knife into my chest, right below my throat.

" Dean!" I screamed, he stopped moving as he stood over me, I knew his name.

" I'm so sorry Jess." He said as he moved the knife slowly down my body, making my scream more and more.

" No!" I screamed. " Bring back the yellow eyed demon. Bring him back!" I yelled, I didn't want someone I knew doing this to me. Dean looked to hurt to even be doing this.

" He's here?" Dean hissed through his tough face.

" Yes!" I screamed as he dragged the knife out of me.

I could feel myself pull away from this memory, back into the other world for a few seconds, I could breath again, I could look around for a moment and just take it in. How long was all of this going on for, how long could I take all of this before my mind would just give up? I could feel that my face was soak, maybe from sweat? Blood? Tears? All of these things were a good option, but I didn't really know, all I wanted was for it all to be over with. I could see the most hurt expression on Dean's face and that there was nothing on Sam's face. No one spoke as I cough my breath and then clothes my eyes, I was back into the other world once again, back there with the colder, more evil Dean.

I screamed because he was using the knife around my face. I could feel the way that he was changing right in front of me. He did not look me in the eye and he just started to carve all around my face, loving the way that I tried to fight back and the way that I screamed whenever he did something with that knife. I could feel the blood flooding from my face, sliding it's way down my face, to my arm and dripping from my fingers. Dean moved back to the rack of things that he could _play _with as the yellow eyed man would say sometimes. He smiled as he saw something that he would like to place with, he looked over at me with the eyes that I used to know, the ones that looked as if he could cry as he moved back over to me. I did not know what he was going to play with next, but I knew just from the look that it could not be anything that I would like, if I liked anything in this hell.

" Open your mouth." He said as I looked away form him, keeping my mouth shut. " Do it." He said as he moved my face back to where it was. He tried to pry my mouth opened, every time that he would get close though, I would bit him.

His started to get him really angry, he became more smart to all of my moves though, all of the different things that I was doing, he cold counter act to. When I would move one way, he would be able to move in the same direction and move me back to the same spot that I was in at first. One time I got him so angry that he threw a punch at me, that really threw me off guard and made it so that he had his chance to do whatever it was to me that he wanted, he ripped open my mouth and started to pour a liquid into it. At first it just felt like it was nothing, but then it began to burn, it was a terrible pain, something that I could not stand. I tried to spit it all out, but he just kept pouring and pouring it into my mouth, he would not stop. I screamed as the burning turned into something much worse, something that I could not describe. I moved around and screamed and cried, Dean seemed to be happy with this because he moved away for a little and just watched at I screamed. Before long he had a little piece of fire, something I hadn't seen anyone else do before. Soon he took the gas and just put it all around me and light it on fire. Then everything went blank.

" _She's on fire!" _Sam cried as he started to pat it out, it was only a little bit of me, it was better then my full body.

" _No shit!" _ Dean hissed as he moved away a little, maybe remembering everything that had happened.

" _Make it stop!" _I cried out, I stopped moving as I noticed my own voice. Dean had moved form where he had to the sink and just started to spray me with the hose that's on the sink.

When the fire had be settled I could feel at the man with the trench coat placed his hand onto my chest that all of the fire, all of the pain slowly lifter from my body. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want to really, I just breathed deeply in and out. Trying to make sure that I wouldn't go back into that world, that I would just stay here and relax and never go back there. I did not know how long they would allow me to stay like this before they would see if I was alive or not. All I cared around was breathing for as long as I could. The fresh air was much better then the air in the other world, much happy and more at ease. It would have been that we were in a dump and it would have seemed amazing at this time, it would seem happy and beautiful.

" _Jess_?" Sam asked as he looked over at me.

" Meh." I whispered as I took another deep breath.

" Ya okay?" He asked.

" Meh." I said again as I did not even open my eyed.

" What does _Meh _mean?" The dark voiced man asked.

" For her, it means yeah, she's fine. In this case." Sam said as he grabbed onto my hand tightly.

" There's more then one case of Meh's?" Dean finally said something.

" Yeah, for her it all depends on the time of day." I could hear that Sam was laughing a little.

I opened my eyes to see that the man was standing above Sam, who had placed himself lightly onto the bed right beside me, sitting and smiling at me. Dean was on the other side of the room, not even looking at me as he started to wipe down everything that had been soaked by the water. When Sam saw that I had opened my eyes he just smiled even wider and held into my tightly, which kind of hurt and made me yelp a little. Sam backed away and just starred at me as he held onto my hand even tighter then before. The trench coat man smiled as he moved a little away as he moved over to Dean, they spoke with one another as little as Sam just smiled and kissed me lightly on the forehead. He moved around to the other side of the bed, where there was more room and laid down next to me, all the while smiling as he placed himself there. He seemed to almost be in tears, he did not cry, but there were tears that were filling his eyes.

" How long was I out for. . . or how long was I gone for?" I asked in a light whisper.

" About twenty minutes." Sam smiled as he looked over to the clock. " Maybe a little more."

" Oh wow." I said as I moved into his chest.

" Why?" He said as his face moved to his concerned face, the one there his eyebrows go down to right above his own eyes.

" It felt more like a lifetime." I said as I closed my eyes and listened to his heart. I could hear as the man and Dean were talking to one another, I knew that Sam could as well. We both stayed quited.

" _If she has just one more of those episodes then she will be right back in hell where she was before. I'm afraid that if she even thinks about her past that something along those lines will happen again. She is on the track of having the whole wall just coming down again." _ The man said.

" _I thought you said that he wall has crumbling before." _Dean whispered a little to loud.

" _It was, but only a piece of it was crumbling, I'm afraid that if she does whatever it was that she was doing before again that it will be much worse then that." _He said lightly.

" _Well can't you just put up a thicker wall? Make it so that she can't touch the crumbling wall?" _Dean asked.

" _Do you think that if I could do that, that maybe by some chance that I would have already. That I would have done that with Sam as well to make sure that he would not break down his wall as wall?" _The man hissed.

" _Sorry didn't think of that. Don't need to get your panties all up in a bunch." _Dean snickered.

" _No Dean. To think you would have needed to have thought, in which you did not." _The other man hissed out again.

" _What chance do you think that Sam will have if he did what she did?" _Dean whispered.

" _The things that Sam did when he did not have a soul, the things that he has done and the things that he would do if he still did not have a soul. All of those things that he had done alone would make it worse then what she had gone through, not to mention his time in hell with Lucifer and Micheal. If you want to add that in then he would be dead before he could even have a memory about hell. He would never come out of whatever state she had been in. . . or worse." _The man said as his voice lightened back to his normal tone.

" _Worse. . . Cas what kind of worse? What can be worse then not even waking up from a memory of hell? What can be worse then that?" _Dean was now the one that was hissing. They sounded like two mad cats the way that they just kept hissing back at forth.

" _He could just implode right in the place that he was in. All of him would be scattered around the world because of how big the implosion would be Dean. You would never be able to see your brother again and he would be right back in the cage with Micheal and Lucifer. But this time we would never be able to get him out again." _

" _Why not?" _Dean said numbly.

" _Because there would be no way on getting him our Dean. No angel would be stupid enough to go and try to get someone out of Lucifer's cage, no person would even think of doing that. Only a very high powered demon would be able to do that and believe me, we do not have a very high powered demon working for us. Not even a high powered angel would be able to go down there and get Sam out if they wanted to. So there is no way of getting Sam out." _He said as he turned away from Dean a little.

" _Oh._" Was the only thing that Dean said as we all let the silence wash over us only for a moment before my phone went off. I could already tell that it was Hannah calling. I moved over Sam's large body and lightly grabbed my cell phone out of my purse.

" Yeah Hannah?" I asked lightly as I looked over at Sam and smiled.

" Jess, of thank god that you answered the phone!" She sounded frantic.

" Make it quick Hannah. I can't talk."

" Well you need to hear this. You remember that guy from the bar that you really were hitting on like two weeks ago, the one that you went on that date with too." I could hear police sirens rushing around her.

" Yeah. . . Gerard." I smiled as I remember him.

" They just found him dead. Jess, they found out that he drowned himself just like Sam had." She said lightly.


	6. Chapter 6

They would never understand how much I wish to be back with them. . . to be able to really help people once again and to just stop all of the fighting. They seem to be thinking that I do not care about them anymore, that since I have gone back up to heaven, back to my real family, that I do not care about them at all. That is a complete lie. All of the time I wish that I could go back to them and just be able to listen to them bicker about things, to protect people and to make sure that the Winchesters do not die between now and the time that they are meant to die. But things are very different now that the war on Earth is over, now that there is a war going on in heaven. I doubt that there will ever be another time of peace again.

I have heaven as my homeland, that is where I have the most control. . . if I even have any to begin with. It seems like even in heaven there is nothing that I can do to stop what is going on. Raphael is getting stronger by the day with all of the angels that are going from my side and falling into his hands. Soon enough it will be time for me to just give in, to allow him all of heaven and beg for mercy that he will not kill me. I know that if he finds me though, it will be all over and I will be as dead as the angels that have come in his path already, all of them stabbed in the heart, from the backside. No matter all of the things that I try to do to make it so that we can have this be over, to make this war end, nothing seems to work. Raphael wants all people on my side to die, which includes me, he wants me dead more then anything in the world.

I try to help them whenever I can, but that does not seem to even be enough for their needs. They believe that I can just fly down to from the war going on above and help them when it is needed and best for _them_. With this woman there was nothing that I could do, I saw that she was in need and I knew that Sam had been praying very hard, from his head and if there was anything that I could do I would try to help her. There was nothing that I could do though, she was already too far gone and we were going to have to just wait it out. She was another human that Crowley had brought back to through around the world and to use as a _toy_. She seemed to be very important to Sam and somewhat important to Dean, I believed that she was the woman that Sam had been in love with before, when he was in school. Jessica. I was correct as well. When she came to, I let Dean know that if that were to happen to Sam that there would be no chance of Sam coming out of it, that he would be dead within minutes. If it were to happen to the woman again, she would die as well. Soon after that I left.

I went back to heaven, back to all the warfare and all of the hell that was supposed to be the most perfect place in the universe. There was many different things that were going on from the moment that I got there to the moment that I would leave once again. There was the fact of knowing how many people that we have lost in the current days and how many that Raphael has lost as well, there's always that fact that my side seems to lose more then the other, that we are losing and our time will be coming very quickly. But somehow I still have people fighting for the same beliefs as I do, that there are still people that think that there is a chance, people how are willing to do for what they believe in and people that most likely will be dying for what they believe in. Today thought seemed to be different, today seemed to have a brighter mood to it.

" Castiel! Castiel there you are!" An angel said as I walked through the gates of heaven and into the world that humans never saw.

" And what would that be Haniel?" I said without even turning, there was too much to be done.

" It is Balthazar! He said that he would allow you to take back the weapons! If he does this then we will have a much better chance of winning!" I stopped in my place and turned to him.

" Where is he?" I said without thinking.

" He would not tell me where he would be, all he said is that you would know where to fine him. That it would be someplace that would be safe from Raphael and his men." He said as he smiled over to me, there was too much excitement in his face. " You do know where that would be correct?" He said as the smile ran from his face.

" Of course I know where that is!" I snapped. " Get Hael, Cassiel, and Gabriella. Tell them that it is important and to come here now, no buts or anything. We are leaving _now_." I said.

" Right away!" He said and he was gone without another word.

I would not trust Balthazar with anything, I did not know what he was up to and I really did not want to be caught alone if he was playing some kind of trick on me. I needed those weapons more then anything in the world, I needed those to win this and have no other angel's die. Cassiel was my best dealer, she was the one that could have someone give her all of the gold in the world for just a penny. I knew that if there was a price that Balthazar would want for all of the weapons that she would be the one to talk him out of it, and he was also very attracted to her vessel. Hael was the one that could fight for everyone else and would not blink if he had to kill one of his closest friends, he was very cold hearted and that is what I needed. I knew that I could trust him because he was fighting for _me_, it was just the others that I had to make sure he would not kill. Gabriella was mostly along for the slight of battle. She was very new to the fact of having to battle, she was one of the newest to decided to join in the battle and she needed to be able to know her place in this battle. If there was something that was going to happen, if someone was going to die, I would need her to see that. To know that this is not some kid game that she was used to, this was very big. Haniel would be going as well because he knew the ropes and if something would happen to me he would be the one to get the others out of there before I would be able to.

" Okay we are going down to Earth and we are going to be retrieving some very important things. I do not want any of you trying to use these weapons on the person that we are receiving them from, understood?" I said flatly.

" Yes sir." They all said.

" This is going to be very dangerous because of the fact that it is on Earth and we are going to be in Raphael's area. Now I do not know if this is going to be the worst idea that I have ever made or if Balthazar will really give us the weapons. Now I need you all to be on your toes this whole time, from the moment that we start flying to the moment that we get back, be ready for anything. If anything is to happen to me, then you will follow Haniel's orders, anything that he says you will go with and not question. If someone dies, leave them behind and do not look back for anything. Understand?" I asked again.

" Yes sir." They all said, standing in a line.

" Very good, then follow my lead." I said as I flew down to Earth.

I knew where he was going to be, it was the hiding spot that I had when I was away from the Winchester's when the whole Lucifer rising was happening. It was a little house in Virginia, someplace that no one would even think to find me because it was such a small town and such a small place. It used to be a home to some family, but Lucifer had already been through there and we'll say that they seem to be missing now. I placed all of the markers up on all of the walls to make sure that no angel or demon would be able to find me anywhere, and it had worked well. But Balthazar had seemed to be able to know where this was and had seemed to make this his new home. It really did not happen to me in the least what he wanted to do with my old bomb shelters, let him live there for what I care. All I wanted was the weapons and I would leave him there to rot if he wanted.

I stood and waited for the others to file in after me. The dirt road was under my feet and the wind was flying around. I could hear all of the wind going around me and whipping around my coat. The clouds were coming in fast and soon there would be no sun in the sky at all, but for now the sun was pointed right into the house and I could see at the end of the house Balthazar, waiting for me to enter, but he did not see me for now. There was a pond behind me and I could hear all of the wind whipping it around and making little white caps, hitting the small rocks around the edge of the pond. There were now horses around the area, seems like Balthazar really seemed to be taken a liking to this place. Soon the other's flooded around me and just stood there. There were waiting for me to make a move and then they would follow after. I walked across the dirt path and toward the house. Before I made it to the door, Balthazar stood there and smile.

" Good to see you again Castiel." He smiled, drink in hand as he opened the glass door to let me through. " And I thought that this was going to be a _civil_ conversation." He smiled as he shut the door after I walked in.

" It will be, I just brought them as protection." I said as I removed his hand from the door and allowed the others to start to follow behind.

" You really think that you need protection, I am hurt Castiel. Really I am. The least that I thought that you would do would be to drag your little. . . _boy_ into this. The moose and the leather loving one." He smiled with this and allowed the others to follow him into the kitchen area of the house.

" So where are they. Where are the weapons?" I asked without trying to start a little conversation with him, which I knew that he would want.

" Well let's just jump into it Cassy." He smiled, I guess that he would be calling me _that _for now on. " I would tell you but. . ." He looked up at the angel's that were standing behind me. " They would need to go for a walk." He smiled as he looked back to me. " If you _really _want to know where they are."

" I really do not think that would be very wise Castiel." Cassiel said from behind me, I just placed my hand up.

" My, my, my. I did not even see you there Cassiel." Balthazar perked up. " She can stay." He smiled as he moved a little closer to us. " The others though." He smiled as he waved goodbye to them. " Need to go, now." He said as he looked from me to them back to me again. He knew what he was doing and he was very good at it.

" Fine. Hael, Haniel. Go take a walk." I said and they were gone, it was not just Cassiel, Balthazar, and myself.

Balthazar seemed very proud of himself as he moved around the room to a bar that was next to the refrigerator. He poured two small glasses or something and then placed them onto the table and then looked up at us. He wanted us to drink these things, from the look on his eye I could tell that they were harmless, that there was nothing in them, he would never want to hurt Cassiel, she was to impressive for him and he wanted a chance at her, I was his only chance of making it out of this battle alive. If he was not working with Raphael already then he was already doomed if I lost because of what he has done to Raphael already, destroying his body and what not. He did not really look over at me as much as Cassiel, the only real reason that he was attracted to her the way that he was is because of the fact that she can talk him out of anything. She can do that to anyone, but with him, she can talk him out of his life and he would not have any regrets and he would not hold a grudge against her at all.

" So where are they?" I asked as I took the glass and took a sip out of the drink. It was very bitter.

" Oh see that is sort of the thing. . . I don't have them. . . sorry." He said as he took another drink. " But I do have a plan to get them." He smiled evilly as he looked over his small glass.

" What would that be?" I asked as I looked over at Cassiel, she seemed very nervous.

" Were going to be sending Raphael and all of his little minions on a little trip. Now to send them in this trip we are going to need bait, which is why I called on you for all of this." He said.

" No, I will not be used as bait, Balthazar. You can call all of this off and we will be done with all of this if you think that I am going to be used as bait." I hissed.

" Oh, not you silly Cassy. Never would have _dreamed_ about using _you _as bait. No! But your little friends, now they are very different, I mean they seemed to have their fair share of running through parallel universes, this would be _nothing_ to them!" He said as he stirred up his drink a little.

" Sam and Dean? No, not at all. I will not drag them into this any more then I have before, they have suffered enough from all of the things that we have already put them through, no." I said, I almost wanted to lunge at him for even asking that.

" If seems like you have strong feelings for them Castiel. But would you rather risk your little pets being hurt, or having all of heaven fall under the hands of Raphael? They will not get hurt, one of us will be watching over them the _whole _time. But it will give us enough time to run around _this _Earth over a million times and be able to find all of the weapons!" He said as he looked over at Cassiel. " What do you think about this?" He asked her, she looked over to me to see if this would be an alright thing to answer and I nodded.

" I think that it is a brilliant idea. I mean it would be the easiest thing to be able to trick them with and they would fall into our little game that we would have them under. They would never see it coming that we had them tricked the whole time! No matter if the Winchester's died or not it would be an amazing idea and we would be able to win this without any concern about loosing if we had all of the weapons. Without them, I mean we are facing an _archangel _and your nothing but a regular angel like the rest of us you have no chance of beating him the way that it is Castiel." She said as she lowered her head. " I know that they mean a lot to you, that you had feelings about them and that they had become close to you the whole time that you were falling Castiel, but we need you use them now. It is not like they have much meaning now that they have not done their real jobs. We need to use them now." She said. She was right though.  
" How would we go it?" I asked.

" Easily. Now we have a plan going on!" He smiled.

It was set now, I wish that I would have time to be able to tell them all that was going to happen to them. . . in less then a week they would become our own little playing piece. We would keep the woman in a safe place, knowing that it would be a terrible idea to have her go into the other world with them because of the fact that they are not them. They would have no idea what was going to hit them and I wish that I would be able to change that, but this was Balthazar's plan and we had to go by it with everything. I felt bad for the things that we were going to place Sam and Dean into. . . but there was no real other choice. We needed them once again for things that they should never be placed into.


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't tell Sam anything about Gerard, just that he was sort of a friend that I had a little to much to do with to _just _be friends. I mean we weren't anything more in the term of friend or boyfriend and girlfriend. We were more of just friends that have gone out on a few date with one another and have had just a little too much fun with one another. Nothing more then that. . . really it was all that we have done. I met him in a bar around the 3rd week that I had come back from death and he just seemed to have a nice voice and a very pretty smile, the way that he spoke when telling a story and the way that his eyes would light up. . . it just made me smile a little more then normal. She was saw each other a few more times, but we did _not _have sex. I knew that there was no real reason on why he would be killed like Sam had been, no real reason at all. Besides he may have had a wife and five kids for all I know, but it wasn't me that he cheated on with, he never even told me about his family life.

" Do you need a ride back to your house?" Dean asked as I was outside of the motel room.

Sam was inside trying to get someone to tell him what had happened to Gerard fully. I had left the room as soon as I had heard the news about what had happened to him. I felt all of the air rush away from my lungs and I could do nothing to get it back. I knew that I would just need to get the cold air into my face and it would, hopefully, come back. It did, but it would only come in long gulps and then be taken away for a few more seconds, I could tell that I was having a panic attack, or what felt like one and I just knelt down to the ground and pulled my legs down close to me. Minutes later is when Dean came out, they probably had talked to Hannah and had found out everything that had happened. All I could do though was try and breath and try not to break down more then I already had.

" Are you okay?" Dean asked and he knelt down next to me. I glared up at him and shook my head almost frantically. " Anything that I can do to help it stop." He smirked, I took in another gulp of air and just shook my head.

" Dean come here!" Sam said from inside of the motel room and Dean looked from me to the door and then walked in slowly.

I just thought about everything and everyone that Gerard had told me about, which one of them could have been the one that he cheated on me with and who in my life could be the next one to end up dead. Was this the life that i was going to live now that I knew about Sam and Dean again? Would I really live to know if I would think about my life with Sam before all of this? It's not like I really try to remember anything that it happening, it just happens in a way. It's not like I think about a place or a time and it hits me. Most of the time someone says a name or something around someone I knew and it all comes rushing back. Would I really want to isolate myself from the whole world just to be able to live with Sam and have a life with him. . . for what little of a life I will have with him. Can I really take it? All of these things are things that I _need _to know the answers to, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. I would scratch down my whole wall if that's what it meant to be able to know those answers. I would do anything to have that happen.

" Common." Dean said and he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

" Dean! Dean! You didn't have to do _that_ to her, you know that she would have come if you had just _asked _her to come. Put her down!" Sam demanded, he had a bunch of bags in his hands. Dean did too.

" Do what the man says Dean!" I said as well, Dean did not listen. " What the hell is going on here?" I asked, thinking about punching Dean in the back of the head.

" Were getting you the hell out of here. The cops are onto you and think that you have killed most of these guys! Why didn't you tell anyone that you knew _all _of the men?" He asked as he threw me into the backseat of his car. Sam threw all of their clothes into the trunk and then got into that passenger seat.

" Because I didn't think that it was really important! Why? Do you _really _think that the cops could have enough evidence to convict me of something like this?" I said, I started to feel freaked out.

" Well let's just say that we aren't going to take that chance and we're going to take you someplace that is _really _safe." Dean said.

" She's going to need her clothes Dean." Sam hissed as we squuled out of the parking space and toward my house.

" Five minutes. If you're not out of there by then, we are coming in there and getting you with whatever stuff that you have in your hands or in the bag that you bring. Pack lightly." Dean said without even looking over at me.

" _What should I tell Hannah, she's going to know that that somethings up if I just walk in and pack up some stuff and then just leave." I said as I looked over at my phone. _

" Give me that for a second." Dean said and I gave him my phone. He looked at it for a second, pulled down his window and then threw the phone out of it.

" What the hell was that for?" I asked as I hit him on the back of the head. " Hannah got that for me before I even knew my own name!" I said.

" We'll get you a new one, promise. We just don't want the cops tracking us down with it." Sam said as he looked back at me. " Promise."

" What should I tell Hannah then?" I asked.

" Just tell her that you are going on a little trip with your boyfriend to meet his family. Don't say our names at all, don't tell her anything. Just tell her that you will be back soon and not to worry." Sam said as we pulled into my soon to be old driveway.

I got out of the car and rushed into the house, I wanted all of those five minutes to really count for something more then just me taking my time. I did not even stop to say hi to Hannah or anything, I just rushed up and into my room and pulled out an old backpack. I opened all of the zippers and started running around looking for things to put in there. I found some sneakers that I threw in, a few pairs of jeans, one pair of shorts, and a few band tee-shirts. Next I moved over and pulled out the only hoodie that I owned- Gerard's hoodie. I know, it seems like we were on the right track to being called boyfriend and girlfriend, but I was just cold one day and he gave it to me to wear. I told him that the next time that we met up that I would wash it and then give it to him. I had never gotten to washing it or giving it back to him. Now it was the only thing that I had to remind me of him. I then threw some underwear and socks into my bad and started to walk out of the room. Then next to my bed I found the one thing that I wanted to keep more then anything, my hospital bracelet. It was almost like my birth bracelet that they put on newborns now.  
" Where are you going?" Hannah asked as she walked into the room.

" Just going out with with my new boyfriend." I smiled as I tried to leave the room. But she wouldn't allow me to exit. " Don't worry Hans, I'll be back in no one, I'm just going to meet his folks and stay for a few." I smiled but she stood in front of the door.

" No. . . please don't leave right now." She smiled as she came into the room.

" Really. I have to go Hans, my rides waiting outside and I really don't want to piss them off by making them wait. If there's anything that you need to just then just tell me before I go, I have to go get something out of the refrigerator and then I'll be gone." I said as I passed her and moved passed her and started towards the stairs.

" No. You really wont." She hissed as she grabbed my by the hair.

" _You're as cold as ice, You're willing to sacrifice our love. You never take advice, Someday you'll pay the price, I know." _A radio started to play in my room.  
" _Oh Shit._" I said as I tired to run for the stairs. " _Sam! Dean!_" I screamed, but I knew that they could not hear me from up here.

" _I've seen it before, it happens all the time" _

" You will pay for everything that you have done." I voice said from inside of Hannah's body.

" Help!" I screamed as loud as I could. Nothing. " Hannah. . . Whoever, I've done _nothing _wrong. I have never cheated in my life and never would! Besides I can't even get someone pregnant!" I cried as she moved my towards the stairs.

" You will pay! You will pay!" She screamed in return.

" _You're closing the door, you leave the world behind. You're digging for gold, you're throwing away." _

" I haven't done anything!" I screamed.

The next moment went by so fast that I could not really see anything besides blur. One moment Hannah was gripping me at the base of the stairs and just yelling into my ear, the next. . . I was at the bottom of the stairs, gripping into my air and screaming loured then I thought possible. I was hoping that because I was close to the door that Sam and Dean would be able to hear me, it seemed like they hadn't. Soon the larger, stereo was on in the living room, blasting as loud as it could. I knew that Sam and Dean had heard _that_ because I heard the car doors slam shut. I screamed as loud as I could but Hannah. . . well the _thing _inside of Hannah was now at the bottom of the stairs and had her hand over my mouth. She was shoving me towards the kitchen.

" _A fortune in feelings, but someday you'll pay. You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love." _

" You'll pay." She hissed along with the song.

Next she threw me down another flight of stairs. . . this time the one toward the basement, now I knew what she was going to do with me, something that I had not expect anyone to do besides in the horror films. I tried to get up but felt myself weaken and hit the concrete with a _thud_ again. I tried screaming for Dean or Sam, but my lungs were starting to fill with water. I did not understand what was going on but all I could do was try and cough up all of the water in my lungs. A tiny radio clock turned on above me, it started to play that damn song too. Hannah was standing in front of me and placed her hands around my throat and pulled me towards the freezer on the far side of the basement. I tried to stop her, but I was starting to just see fuzz all around me, like a spiders web was forming all around me. I tried to stop her, but she was much to powerful for me.

" _You want paradise. But someday you'll pay the price, I know. I've seen it before, it happens all the time." _

She opened the freezer and started to contort me into the little space, it was fully empty, which had never happened in this house and I couldn't even scream. I just started to choke out all of the water that I could into the freezer as I could, trying to find air. Soon I had filled the bottom with water as she shut it tight. The next thing that I heard was something break. . . or maybe it was her just _locking _the freezer so that I could not get a way out. . . really I couldn't tell. It's not like I really had a chance to get out of here because my arms were not able to move up and open it. I could feel all of the cold starting to take my heat away, that I could still hear the music playing around me and could feel my lungs starting to give up on me as well. Sam and Dean were trying ti fight her off all around me, I felt very tired around this time. The cold wasn't really affecting me as much as the water, all I could do was place my hands around my throat and gasp for air, nothing would come out though. I tried to scream or yell to show them that i was in here, I even tried to open the damn freezer myself but nothing really seemed to work.

" Sammy, just go and try to find out where she's hid Jessica. By now she may be dead if we don't find her now." I heard Dean yell to Sam.

" You are _not _taken her. She is where she belongs now!" Hannah screamed and then there was a bang. I couldn't hear my own breathing or heart, but I could hear the music and them talking so clearly.

" Sammy, just go!" Dean yelled.

" Jess!" Sam yelled, it sounded like he was walking outside, as if _I _was going to be in the same place that they had found the other Sam.

" She's not out there!" Sam cried as he ran back in. " Where is she?" He hissed.  
" Like I would tell." She said back but then screamed.

The water that had been in my lungs was starting to come to about my ankles, I was choking up as much as I could possibly get, but nothing would make it all come out. I tried to push or make a sound on the freezer to get Sam to know that I was in here, but nothing really seemed to work. I was fading quickly, all around me was not blackness and all I could do was just sit here and start to lose all feeling in my body. I could not think of anything or do anything, my whole body, inside and out was so numb that I just sat there and let it happen. I couldn't choke up any more water and I couldn't move or get myself out of there. Nothing seemed to be working, nothing. The music was still playing and I knew that we were losing this battle. I started to give in, my pants were clinging to my skin and the other side was gripping the freezer. My shirt was not a part of the side of the freezer and my arms were not too numb to really know if they were moving freely or if they were a part of it as well. I couldn't feel any part of me and I was starting to lose my hearing as well. I knew that I was dying. . . but it was not hurting. . . no pain and no fire. It was almost funny to think about really, one time I had died because I had been slashed in the stomach and then burned to death. The next time I was pretty much drowned and then frozen to death! What a great way to go out for the second time! I chuckled a little through the water.

" Jessica! Jessica!" I heard Sam yell, then I felt the freezer move, but not open.

She had made it so that _no one _would be able to open it. She had pretty much either frozen the top of it. . . if ghost could do that. Or she had just broken off anything that would allow someone to open it up without some heavy duty equipment. She wanted for some reason to keep me in here and to make sure no one else would be able to get me out either. I had never cheated before and I did not know what I had done to make it so that I deserved this. I felt myself drift out of a state of response. All I could do now was just sit there, it was almost like day dreaming but never being able to come out of it. The music was now blaring and I could feel my body start to shut down. The water was now coming from another place and was filling to my hips now.

" Jess, were coming to get you out of there. Just hold on!" Sam yelled.

" Sammy hurry up, there's water coming out from the inside of this thing. Jess!" Dean screamed.

Somehow the door was thrown across the room and they pulled me out slowly. Dean had thrown Sam his jacket and Sam placed it over and around my body, trying to heat me up quickly. I knew that I wasn't going to make it, but they were still trying to make it so that I would have a chance of living. Dean was calling 911 and Sam was trying to heat me up in any way that he could think up, he started to pull off all of my wet and froze clothes, but they had to be ripped off, pulling off some skin along with it. Nothing was working.

" Why would you take her out!" Hannah hissed.

" I thought that you killed that bitch!" Sam said.

" Nah, I just put her in a ring of salt." Dean replied. " We'll take care of her as soon as Jess is revived. Is she still breathing?" He asked.

" I don't think so!" Sam replied.

" _You're closing the door, you leave the world behind." _

" Jess!" Sam yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

People were rushing around her, not allowing to see much of her, they tried asking me a million questions, but none of them I really answered. Dean stayed back while I went with her to the hospital were her, I would not leave her side for a second. I just wanted to make sure she was going to be fine, she was so cold, she would not move and I swear her face was a deep blue instead of her usually flushed face. Why would anyone be doing this to her and me . . . mostly me though, I had _just _got her back from all of this, she can't just leave me life_ again_. Not right now, not ever again! I promised her that I would not let anything happen to her, I promised her that, and I couldn't even keep _that _promise! How could I ever think that I could have a normal life with her when all I do when I'm near her is just let her die, I allow her to slip out of my grasp and she's gone.

They told me not to expect anything besides the worst and to start planning for the next few days, when she was pronounced dead and everything after that. I could not allow that to happen, I told them that if there was _anything _that they could do to change it, that they had to do it. There was nothing that I was unwilling to do at this point, I know that _I _had just gotten back from hell, but I was willing to go back if it meant that she got to stay here. Sign me up and I was ready to go, I was _really _willing and was _going _to do anything in my powers to make sure she would wake up, to have her beautiful eyes look up at me and to see her flushed face and have her smile at me. Just one last time, if it was the last breath that _I _would take, I would love to have that be the last thing that I would ever see, it would be the happiest thing in my life.

She just looked like she was sleeping when the placed her into a room, nothing with a view, because why give a comatose anything that had a view, epically when they would never see it. They had gotten most of the ice out of her hair, which was now dripping a little and the water was flowing down and hitting her pillow. Their was a soft beeping of her heart, which was the only sound that I could stand right now, her face wasn't blue, but paler then the moon. She would move a little to the side or the other, but they said that was normal and to not get too excited if that would happen. Her chest moved up and down, but that was with a tube that was helping her breath, so many wires that were hooker up to her. I knew that she would _never _want this for herself, that she would rather us just pull all of the tubes and just let her die. But until that moment where they say that Jessica is not in there anymore and that she is brain dead, I will never allow anything to happen to her. My cell phone rang as a nurse came in.

" Your not allowed to have that on in here! It could mess up all of the equipment!" She hissed as she went and checked on everything.

" Sorry, I forgot that I had it on." I smiled like Dean usually does and went out of the room and answered it. _" What_?" I said into it.

" How's she doing?" Dean asked.

" Not good." I said. " Why?"

" Well I just found something out that could help us know why _she _was picked." He said, sounding impressed with himself, typical Dean.

" Well say it, I have to get back in to her soon." I said, looking back into the room it only see her soaked, but still beautiful curly hair streaming down her body.

" Well you remember that Amelia Huntbitch? Well she isn't going after cheaters at all, we were just taken over by that because they all were. She's going after the blood line on that one child that was born. That is Jessica's great-great-great grandfather. It was that Sam's great-great cousin, Gerard was actually Sam's brother, who knew. And the other's were all connected as well. Kinda gross if you think about it, I mean I know that Jess didn't know, but she was hooking up with her cousin. Weird." He said.

" Great, well start the bond fire, I'll just be here. Don't wait up for me, really. I'll probably be staying here with Jess for as long as they will allow me to." I said as I looked back into the room, that nurse was coming out.

" Well okay then, don't wanna help in roasting the son of a bitch that got your girl into that coma? Doesn't really seem like a good idea to keep all of that pent up anger in like that, don't cha think?" He asked as if I was going to leave her.

" Just do it alone Dean." I said and closed the phone and turned it off, I didn't want any nursed throwing me out because I was endangering her.

" She is becoming more responsive, but still isn't too good." She said, as if that was really going to light up my mood any.

I didn't know really what to do when we were alone, it wasn't like she could hear me, she was in a coma for god sake! It's not like I could walk up to her and just start a conversation with her! All she did was move a little and let all of these tubes and machines do all the rest of the work for her! But she still did look even more beautiful then _ever_, the way that her hair was and the pail light up her face, everything just seemed to make her glow more. She seemed to be at so much peace, more then I have ever seen her before, even when she was asleep in my arms at Stanford, there had always been something for her to worry about, _money, finals, us. _There was always something for her to hold above her head and place it on herself like a weight. Now she just seemed like nothing was bothering at her, she just seemed to just be happy for herself.

" Jess. I _know _that you can't hear me, if you can. . . well then you're probably not really listening to a fool like me. I mean I just. . . I'm not very good at this, I mean I. . . I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for all of this shit I _keep _putting you through. I mean everything that has been happening, all of the times that I have gotten you hurt or even killed before, all of this is my fault! It's not like you would have been here,in the hospital, if I had not just walked into your life and been a fuck up from the day that we started to see one another. You would be happy, probably by now either a nurse or even better a doctor! You'd be in here helping the _fool_ that I have made suffer, you'd be the one that would be saving people. Instead, because of me, you are in here being taken care of. I will understand that when. . . if you come out of this if you leave, run for all I care, and never come back. I just want you to know that you are the love of my life babe, there will never be anyone that will re-place you. No matter how many people say that I have tried before, which I have, but no one can take your place. No one." I said and I could feel a tear running down my face. " I am so sorry for all of this." I said as I took her tiny hand and placed it into mine.

" I'm going to protect you for the rest of your life though. No matter how far you try to go from me, I'm going to make sure that you are always well taken care of and that you will never get hurt from anything supernatural. I know that may sound a little creepy, that I sound like a stalker, but that's not I rally feel about you babe. I know that I should have told you long before you found out about the supernatural world, but now that you know, I have to make sure that nothing will ever get your blind spot and hurt you." I said and her hand moved a little, just another thing her body does. " Hey remember that one night were you were so drunk that you couldn't even get up the stairs to our apartment?" I smiled as I started to re-tell the whole story.

It was actually the both of us who had gotten drunk that night, it was the end of the final and I knew that there was nothing to really worry about for another month, so it was time to party a little, so we did! She had a few more then me and when we got to the stairs she just looked at them and looked back at me and then starred at them for a second, I wondered what she was doing, why she wasn't just walking up the ten to maybe fifteen stairs to get to bed and go to sleep. But she just kept starring and soon enough she got to the first one that fell back onto it, landing on her butt with a simple ' _fuck_' she laughed at it though and I sat there next to her. Neither of us really wanted to get up from that stop and the both of us were too drunk to care that it was a chilly night out. Every step that she would try to walk- or more like crawl up, she would lay back on her ass and back down next to me, with a little help that is. Finally I just took her up into my arms and carried her up all of those stairs, which probably was a _terrible _idea, but we made it and we both fell onto the couch.

" Sam you fool!" She slurred out. " You could have _killed_ us back there!" She said as she knocked off her heels and just placed them next to the couch, the least sloppiest of things that she had done that whole night.

" I know, I know." I said as I moved away from her, picking her up from the back of the couch and brining her to the bedroom. I laughed when I got to there in the story.

" Remember Jess? You wanted to just go back to sleep and I just wanted to stay up and cuddle? The next _week _you made fun of me for it, because I had never been one for cuddling and then you hit yourself because you had missed out on it. Well the thing that you don't know is when you had fallen asleep, I had taken you into my arms and just cuddled with you body. And when you died, the only thing that I wanted to do was cuddle with you, make up for all of the time that we had missed out on it because of the foolish things things _I _hadn't wanted to do. But when. . . if. . . you wake up and take me back, which I doubt you will. . . take me back that is. . . then I will make up for all of the lost time that we have missed out on. Beginning with a ring on that pretty finger. Did you know that I had a ring picked out and everything?" I asked, moving my hand in my pocket and getting out a leather box. " Did you know that I was going to ask you. . . _again _when we got to Bobby's this time?" I laughed lightly. " Looks like someone, somewhere, has a problem with us getting married Jessica. I mean, really, I was going to ask you as soon as I got back from my interview if you would want to marry me, then today when we got to Bobby's I was going to ask you to marry me. Every damn time that I have a chance to ask you, every time that I have it all planned out. Something has to happen!" I said.

" Sammy!" Dean walked into the room quickly, almost running into everything in his path as he stumbled in.

He looked tired and needed a shower desperately. He did not look me in the eye, but his eyes moved from my to Jessica's body, his face turned a little pail as he looked at her. I knew from his eyes that he was feeling more guilty about letting her go in that house alone then anything else in the world. I know that because I was feeling the same way. He moved over to her and softly touched her hair and put a little ringlet into his finger and then moved away. He looked so hurt by all of this that I thought that he was going to have to walk out of the room as I had the first time that I had saw her like this. Although Dean had not known her for very long, he had made a close bond with her already. That's how Dean is really thought, anyone that needs his help, anyone, he will become close with and _then _save him. This time he was just a little too early on making the bond and a little too late in saving her. He looked back at me, still keeping away from my eyes as he spoke.

" Bobby needs us Sammy, let's go." He said, but he did not move his spot as he looked back at Jessica.

" No." I said as I gripped onto her hand tighter. " I'm staying here till I know that she will be okay, until she wakes up." I said as I kissed her hand softly.

" Do you think that she can hear us?" Dean asked as he looked over at her and moved a little closer.

" I really don't know. Probably not." I said. " Did you when you were in your coma . . . well before the Ouijas board?" I asked.

" Yeah. I could hear and see everything Sammy. I was just pretty much a ghost though, meaning that if she is in that state she will have no choice on either letting go or becoming a ghost. So she probably can't hear us." He said as he moved towards the door. " Sammy. . . Bobby really needs us." He said as he looked down at the ground.

" Why? What's wrong with him?" It finally hit me that there may be something _terrible _going on with him as well.

" I don't know. . . he got cut off before I had the chance to ask him anything." I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

" Okay." I said as I squeezed her hand tighter. She moaned a little, that was something that was not supposed to happen very much, Dean looked shocked from his place and called a nurse quickly.

She started to moan a little louder, I knew that normally none of this would happen. Only in TV shows did anything like this ever happen, I mean they never woke up, normally, just alive and well. It took time to come out of something as terrible as this. But her eyes were moving on the inside of her eye lids and she was starting to grip harder as well. Nothing seemed to be happening like it should and soon she was taken in large gasps of air, trying to chug it all into her system as she could, but the tube was not allowing her to do much on her own. Doctors started to flood in and she just dropped onto her bed and allowed them to start asking her all kinds of questions about if she was able to breath on her own and if she wanted the tubes out. Which is did badly as she started to move a little more and a little more. We gave the doctors as much room as they needed as she took the tube out and gave her a breathing mask, which she took quickly and started to down all of the air again. Her blue eyes were as clear as the sea and her face was flushed from all of the air that she had been taken in. She just looked up at me and kept her eyes locked to mine, I couldn't look away.

" How's. . . . . everything?"She asked a little at a time.

" Good, she can speak!" One of the doctors said.

" Jessica, do you know what the day is." She just starred at him and then when back to me.

" Everything is all worked out now, Dean took care of everything at home for you and we will tell you all about it when you get a little more stable and when you are able to remember things better." I smiled as I took her hand.

" Don't. . . Go. . ." She asked softly, her eyes glazing over a little.

" I wont for a little then we have to leave for Bobby's." Her heart rate started to raise.

" No!" She screamed. " Don't. . . go. . . there. . ." She hissed as she started to get out of control and the doctors told her to relax. They were thinking of getting her meds to calm her down, but I cooed her back to her normal start.

" Why Jess?" Dean asked.

" Their planning for you to be there. Their planning on _using you_. Don't go." She whimpered into her asked as she placed it on and took in more breaths of air.

" Who?" I asked, looking over at Dean.

" She needs her rest now, she is very stressed and it's not all that good for her to be going through all of this." A doctors said.  
" Whoa Buddy, she just came out and you are going to put her right back under just like _that_?" Dean asked.

" Who?" I asked again.

" Castiel." She whimpered as the injected the drug into her. " He's. . . he's. . . planning. . . it. . . all." She said as she drifted away.


	9. Chapter 9

I knew what I was talking about, the whole time that I was out, the whole damn time! They had dragged me out of my body in a way, dragged me from earth and pulled me into. . . I do not even know, I think it was heaven! They told me that they were going to protect me, that I was going to be in no harm what so ever, but I was still worried about what they were going to do with Sam and Dean. They never told me really what was going on with them, just that they were going to be needed and that me, being only human and not a hunter, I would need to be protected from everything! Like I can handle myself and a gun, besides, I knew my way around if I ever needed any sort of help! They had told me a lot of other things that I had not known about Sam really. . . he had brought it up, just not in details.

How he slept around with this Ruby girl, that he drank her blood nearly dry by the end of the time, and they were pretty much together! I could not believe it, I could not think of anything that would have been worse for him. I mean him falling in love again, getting married, yeah that I was fine with. But using a girl, who really was not even a girl, taken her blood and then having sex with her! It was just wrong and I could not believe that he had been doing all of this, in the little time that I had been dead for! I knew that he was not a normal guy, in any sense of the word, but a demon! I know that I had only dead for six years, but in Hell it feels like more time. It felt like I had been dead for over seven hundred years, I mean with all of the pain and agony, it feels like more then it should. To come back to earth, I thought there would be flying cars and some cool things, to find out Sam was hooking up with a demon! Really? They showed me even, which made it ten times worse!

They were sitting in a place that I had never seen before, someplace that worried me in a way and terrified me all at the same time. I wanted to cry because of the way that the_ demon _was touching him, the way it seemed like she owned him and knew everything about him. Sam didn't have a look of concern on his face either, he was a blank page in an open book. She could touch him in any way that she pleased and he did not flinch or make a move that was not based sexually on what she had been doing to him before. In a way it was like the way that we used to be, I could do anything to him and he would never react badly. So why was it so different when it was someone else doing all of the touching, was I really that jealous about another woman? Or the fact that she was no real woman at all? She had been suing him all along and now they were touching and he ever could see she had a knife on her and did not move it from her side, not even thought of the things she could- would, do to him!

" _Sam, we should really be working on your powers today! Lilith is growing stronger and you are not. I know what is coming if we keep going on like this! Trust me, it isn't good all of the things that could happen to you!" _She hissed her evil lullaby out to him, he listened to it carefully.

" _I know, I know. It's just that every time that I try, I just can't do it! I try and try to be able to have all of the strength to be able to do it, but nothing seems to work. I need more blood!" _He hissed, he did not look like himself. He looked like a rabid monster, or a junkie. . . maybe both?

" _Shh. You will be fine without it. Now, let's try one last time before we give you the goods aright?" _She was smiling like she was a doctor trying to treat a patient!

They were doing this weird thing, it was like they were trying to take the demon out of someone without saying anything, I remember Sam telling be something like that, how he used this mind and weird powers to take the demon out. But he closed his eyes and did this weird hand motion, blood started to come from his noise and it looked like he was going to collapse because of how much stress he was under. I wanted to grab him and to just let him relax, but I knew that I couldn't do that, I was just seeing these things, so I watched and wanted to cry. The demon was saying so many foul things and Sam just simply ignored him and went on trying to get him out of the body. I watched in shock as the demon was taken from the body, through all entrances, and went straight through the ground, which was now burned in a circle. Sam nearly fell to the ground. Ruby just stood over him and smiled.

" _That was amazing Sam! I can not believe that you really did it! See all that you need is a little pep talk and boom! You are ready for battle! That was amazing! You did so well!" _She bent over and placed his head into her lap and started to move all of the sweat matted hair out of the way. Sam looked like he was dying. _" Just for that here." _She took the cold blade out from where it had lain on her side and slowly slit her wrist open wide, allowing it to fall to Sam's mouth where he gulped it down like a baby would a bottle.

She looked like a drug and Sam was the junkie, everything was moving fast that it was like the three of us were in the eye of a hurricane, everything was moving around and all I could do was hold on tight and pray to be able to make it through. Sam was wrapping himself around the demon, like she was his slave or something, he was gulping down on her blood, while still stripping off all of the layers that she had been wearing till she was just down to her bra and underwear. His hands seemed to be going from place to place and could not find a spot where to stop. They stopped on her cheat and a moan roared from the beast, she could not control anything anymore and they were going at it like animals. The angles took me out of there before anything too graphic could be seen, but I knew what the rest was and I just feel to the ground of the new place they had set me, not really knowing why they had shown me that.

" Sam has become a very good man since those days, really he has and I doubt umm. . . well I doubt there was a day he went without thinking about you." A man- the man in the trench coat said above me.

He was a man that looked like he had been through a lot, body worm and torn in many ways and a men in his forties. . . no more then forty five though, if that. His hair was well slicked back and was a dark brown, everything about him seemed to be so dark. . . weren't angles supposed to be good and light, not dark and scary? He seemed lighter then the people that pulled me from the hospital room, but nothing like the people that I was used to. He is very stiff and would not look down ad me in the eyes, through he was trying to comfort me in some odd way. His hand found it's way to my shoulder as if to add more comfort to me, but nothing helped. I wanted to sink down and just cry into whatever I could find, for now though, I would stay strong. For whoever I was really trying to impress.

" Why would you show me that?" I whispered, knowing if I spoke louder I may crack.

" So you would know who Sam Winchester really is, who he has become. That is only the beginning of it though." He said in a very flat tone.

" Why am I here? Am I dead?" I asked, whipping my hair and face to see his, nothing had changed.

" No, you a very far from dead." He smiled, almost laughing. What was so funny about me thinking I was dead?

" Wh-what happened?" I asked.

The last real thing that I can remember was going into Sam's house, that I was going to get some clothes and that something had happened. I know that it was something big because I remember screaming and pain. . . then just cold. Was _my _Sam alright? What about Dean? Were either of them really okay? Were they dead? What about Hannah? What had happened to her and what was going on? Why could I not remember anything form that time and why did I really have a feeling I was dead? Could angel's lie about those kinds of things? What if they could? Oh god! I am dead! That's it, I am dead and I will never see the real Sam again! I knew something like this would happen one of these days and heavens no better then Hell! If their just going to show me more of the things that I do not want to see, then I would rather be in Hell. At least there, they can't get too deeply into your past, and the things that you never want to be tainted.

" You were attacked by a ghost, Sam and Dean found you and now you are in a hospital in California. You will be just fine." He said, nothing more then hopeful.

" Well why do you need me, who are you. You are the one from when I was going through that phase thing. Who are you?" I asked, almost knowing the answer.

" We just need to protect you is all. We know that both Sam and Dean would be rather angry with me if they knew that I had allowed anything bad to happen to you. I am just going to keep you safe and sound while they go and do a few things for me." He said, his tone not changing from where it had began.

" Well what are they going to be doing for you? Where are they going?" I asked and he did not answer me, just stood there as if he had not heard. " Hello?" I asked standing up, he was much shorter then I had expected.

" I am sorry." He said and still did not answer me.

" Well who are you, give me at least that!" I said, getting rather aggravated.

" Castiel, angle of the lord." He said, not anything else.

" Well I figured the last part. . . but thank you for at least answering me for once. Now what are you protecting me from?" I was worried a little about this, my voice rising a little in fear.

" There is a war going on Jessica, an angle war against one another. We are going to be sending Sam and Dean to a different place to get some weapons for us. We need them to win this thing and believe me, I wish that I did not have to do this, but I must. They would never really understand but I wish I could explain it to them. The war is between me own siblings, my family. I never wanted this to happen, but with Raphael wanting to take over. . . well if he did there would be nothing that father wanted to create to begin with. He would wipe out all of the humans, everything would go to. . . well pretty much Hell. I do not wish to kill anyone, I know that I could die from this- Sam and Dean would never understand though. I want to tell them but- " Then something happened.

It was going so fast I was getting little bits and pieces of things, one moment Castiel was talking to me and then the next he was fighting around me with someone else. I could see little things that were happening, that this was bad, they both were fighting with swords and Castiel telling me to run. But my body could not move, I was stuck behind Castiel. I wanted to scream, to do something, but all I could do was stare with my mouth wide open, I would never be a fighter in anything. Castiel was struck with the sword, right in arm, his sword fell to the ground. I stood with Castiel at my feet, clenching his arm which was bleeding and the man, tall and dark, standing and smiling with his sword towards me. I stepped back, ready to run. Castiel looked up and tried to stand, but the man was right above him with his sword ready to stab into him. I looked around and grab the sword that Castiel had dropped, I slowly picked it up and drabbed it next to the mans, he glared at me.

" How dare you pick that up, you are not worthy of it's powers!" He moved away from Castiel and towards me.

" Run!" Castiel screamed. I took the sword and moved away from the man. He moved closer and faster towards me, I tried to run but nothing would work.

" You are the little whore that the stupid demon brought back from Hell after the Winchester. I thought that it would be meeting you sometime soon and just hoped that I would be the one to be able to send you all the way back to Hell." He smirked evilly, I finally let out a scream.

" Raphael! You came here to kill me! So do it!" Castiel screamed from behind.

" In a minute Castiel. I have a bigger fish to fry." He hissed.

" Not today Raphael!" A woman said from behind, I turned to see a woman with her fingers out and on my forehead, the next moment I was in the hospital room.

When I woke up from the sedation, Sam was standing in the little room with me, in was a newer room, but it was still the same size. He smiled when he saw me awake, but did not move from his spot. I smiled just a wide, but it hurt almost. I knew that something bad had happened because it hurt o move just about anything. Things were coming back, mostly just feelings and things that I could hear. _Ice cold. Sam screaming. Water. Scared. Calm. _It was like a nice little wave washing up and over me, I looked to his side to see the sword next to him, the one that I had taken from heaven, they must have not come back with me, they just sent me back to my body. I could feel, and hear, my heart rate becoming rapid. He moved to my side and kissed me lightly on the forehead, trying to calm me down a little more from the state I was going into.

" Don't. . . leave. . ." I said, the words were coming out slow.

" I wont. Promise." He whispered.

" Castiel. . . planning." I gave up as he kissed me on the lips and moved his chair next to the bed, holding my hand tightly and kissing it, rubbing it and comforting me.

" Shh. It will all be alright. Calm down for now, all you need to do it just relax and breath." He smiled, his teeth were so white.

" Promise?" I pleased. Hoping that he was going to be telling the truth, but I had a feeling he would only tell me what I needed to hear.

" Promise." He said, false hope. There was someone outside getting loud.

" What do you mean you took her there? You don't even have control in heaven? What they hell has been going on that you have to take her away from Sam, make him think that he has lost her _again_ and then bring her back with that!" It was Dean, he was pretty angry.

" I am truly sorry, we were trying to keep her safe!" Castiel whispered, trying to calm Dean down a little.

" You should be sorry! She could have been killed by Raphael, did you ever think that there could have been a surprise attack, which I know there was. She risked herself to help _you_! Why I will never know when she doesn't even know _you, _trust me Cas, after seeing what you just did, putting an innocent girl in danger like that! Really low." Dean shouted.

" No. . . he was. . . trying to protect. . . me." I whispered to Sam all he did was nod.

" I am sorry! I just know that with Raphael on earth right now, and he was planning to attack anyone close to you, I thought it would be best to take her into protection. I knew that Bobby would be alright and so would the both of you, I knew that she would not be. So I took her. I am truly sorry for it and it will not happen again." He whispered.

" Don't expect your sword back Cas." He hissed and stormed back into my room, stopping dead in his tracks seeing that I was awake.

" Hey, you're. . ." He could not say the words he wanted. It was so funny, a guy with all the lines not knowing anything to say.

" Yeah." I say, I was frozen though. " You didn't have to. . . be so mean to him ya know." I whispered.

" Sorry, I guess that is what we call a little tough love." He said, looking back at the door. " He'll be fine."  
" You hope." I said, I knew that there was so much they did not know about.


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel was very impressed with my acts today, he now knew that I was worthy of anything that he needed me do to- he knew now that I was more powerful then my true brother Haniel who was laying on the ground beside the both of us. He had died a true hero, but there was nothing that we could have done for him, he was stupid and played the wrong move, did the wrong things and now he is dead for that reason. I lower myself and close his eyes as, which were covered in blood, but I did not blink or flinch, that was one thing about battle. You get so used to seeing dead bodies that soon it did not matter if it was on your side or not, a friend or not, you got used to closing their eyes and not caring. He was dead and there was nothing that was going to change that, I walked to Castiel and placed my hand onto his shoulder, a sign that humans did for comfort.

" How many?" He questioned.

" Twenty-Three are dead, ten from our side and thirteen from theirs. Some injured but nothing too serious. The girl is back into her body on earth and she is safe and sound for now." I said as I moved closer to him, he was starring off into the dusk.

" We will need to retrieve her very soon, they know that I have _something_ planned for them and they know that it is well important." He said.

" Castiel?" I said softly.

" Yes." He said, not looking away from the sun splashing into the sky.

" Do you believe that _with _the weapons that there is a way to beat Raphael? We are losing people left and right- some people just switch sides or worse just going missing! Some and starting to lose faith in you and some are just dying to fight for a cause that they do not even know exists! Castiel, please tell me that you think that we will win this battle!" I said gripping onto his shoulder a little tighter.

" Of course I. . ." He paused. " I do not really know Rachel if we will be able to win this battle or not, I know that we have the people for it and we have the training for it, it's just that every time that we try to go in for a win, they threaten us with humans and the Winchesters!" He said.

" Castiel, you must know that during this battle, there are bound to be some things that we cannot control, if some humans die, well we cannot fret on that for too long and we can _not_ think about the Winchesters as a time like this! You know as well as I do that they are very important, but not important enough to lose this battle and even more then that our own lives over!" I hissed.

" Yes Rachel, I understand that." He said.

" I have been with you this whole time, I know that you have the strength and the skills to be the next Micheal, I know that is what you really wanted when you came back to heaven. I know that you will be the best person to run this whole place and I know that you know it as well. You know more about humans then anyone I can think of, so _please _do not go off on a suicide mission just because you believe that Raphael could kill the Winchesters, you have bigger things to think about right now." I was never good at giving speeches.

" Yes." Was all I got in return.

" Castiel?" I questioned.

" _What_?" Better then Yes I guess.

" Haniel is dead, I know like to be the one to watch of the Winchesters girl while you are gone looking for the weapons. I know that it was going to be his job and that you trusted him with things like that, but I believe that I showed today that I can be trusted and would be able to do anything that you wanted me to do." I said letting my hand drop from Castiel's small shoulder.

" Fine." He was really into one word sentiences today. I wonder what is wrong with him.

" Thank you. When do you think that I should go down-"  
" Now." He hissed and then he was gone, I guess that this was going to be the time and the place to go and retrieve the weapons. . .

I left heaven that moment and went straight for where Jessica would be traced to, it was someplace that I had never heard of before. But that was nothing to be worried about, all I knew was that I would need to get her back into heaven, which she would not be very happy with. I made it so that no one would be able to see me – something that I did love about being an angel. There was no one in this house beside the girl, who was sleeping on a rather dusty bed in the back of the wooden house. It seemed like a place that hunters would be found in, but nothing that would keep me out. I moved closer and closer to her small figure until I was right next to the bed. Why would they allow her to be alone after all of the things that she has _just _gone through? Why would they think that she would be stable enough to take all of this? Maybe because they did not care, or had much bigger things to worry about. . . sounds like someone else I know. I made it so that I would be able to see and she opened her eyes wide and screamed.

" Please do not do that, I am sorry if I scared you." I said coming a little closer to her, but she moved off the bed and onto the floor.

" Get the hell away from me, I don't want anything to do with you freaks and you mission! I just want to be with Sam and no one else! If he's in any danger then that's where I want to be as well. Not with all of you crazy people in heaven! No! Not again!" She hissed as she started to run away, I came around to her and knocked her out. It was the only thing that I could think about doing.

She seemed to be at the most peace that I had ever seen this girl in, she seemed happy and almost free in this state. She had been knocked out smiling somehow with her whole body laying flat on the ground with her arms at her sides and her legs going straight down. I slowly picked her up from the place that she was on when I heard someone enter the house from downstairs. I knew from the beginning that it was the Winchesters- Sam and Dean. They would be up here any moment to find that Sam's girl was either in my arms or missing. I would really prefer to have it be that, so I hustle around the room, with the girl in my arms, trying to find where her clothes are. They hear downstairs.

" Jess? Everything alright up there." Says a voice form the bottom of the stairs. I search through more things to find _something_. " Jess?" He asks again.

" Everything alright Sammy?" So that was Sam speaking so that means that this one was Dean.

" No." He hissed and started up the stairs, I could feel what was my vessel's heart start to race more then it ever has before. Dean was loading his fun as he came up the stairs as well.

I fumbled through the very last draw that I could find when I found some clothing and right as the door opened I flew us out of there before they could even see me! It was pretty thrilling to be able to fly all the way back up to heaven, knowing that I would not be shot by Dean or Sam Winchester today was thrilling as well. I smiled as I touched ground with the girl in my arms and knew that she was going to be pretty damn safe up here, once Castiel or one of his agents got the first weapon, everything would be going up hill from there. I moved her into a room where there was everything a girl would need in there, anything she wanted to have, that we would allow was all right in there and she would be pretty happy in there, besides the fact that _I _wouldhave to be in there with her the whole time that she was here. One of the _best _things about being Castiel's new favorite agent was that I got to baby sit the humans when he was away. I placed her onto the bed that we had made for her and allowed _her _heaven to show up all around us.

It was odd in a way because it was just a plain room with nothing in it, just the bed that we had and then all of a sudden it would change into anything else. It was soon a small hill with thousands of white flowers all through it and there were two people at the top of the hill, one was the girl that I was watching after and one was a large man, someone that I knew from somewhere. They were on a checkered blanket and very, _very _close to one another. They were smiling and talking to one another and they were doing nothing that was different from what they were used to, because a new actress for the girl. They were both talking when the male, the one that I knew some somewhere opened a basket and took out a bottle of champagne, opened it and took a drink from it, just like that and the handed it to the girl, Jessica, who did the same thing. They both were having a good time and were just being themselves when the _real _Jessica came to.

" Sam?" She said coming to from her trance. " What's going on?" She asked, but the Sam was only programmed to do what had happened in the dream.

" Common, don't drink all of it! Save some for me!" He smiled as he slowly took it away from Jessica's hand. It hit her all of a sudden what this place was and she started to just go along with it, like nothing had happened.

" Sorry, it's just _really _good." She smiled back at him and she moved even closer to his frame.  
" Yeah well I have more back at my place when we empty this bottle, which I have a feeling we will." He smiled as he twined his fingers into hers. She started to blush like a small child.

" So how do you know of this place Sam, I've lived here longer then you have and I have never known of this place what so ever! It is _so _beautiful!" She smiled over at him as she kissed him on the cheek.

" Oh it's just a place that I found one day while taken a long walk." He said as he looked around. " You said that roses were lame, so I didn't really know what to get you for this date. So I thought that instead of bringing you flowers, I'd bring you to them. Have you pick out some to bring home and then say that they were from me. That's how great of a date I am." He laughed and placed his free hand through his hair.

" I think that this is a really great date Sam, I mean I have having the time of my life and this is amazing! I mean all of these flowers and the wonderful lunch and now this amazing champagne, this may be the best date that I have _ever _really been on! I am having so much fun and I wish that this would never end, honestly!" She smiled as this time she kissed him on the lips and he was the one that started to blush. That's when she looked over and saw me watching over the both of us and dropped Sam's hand and started to get up.

" Oh shit." I whispered as I knew that I had been caught.

" Hey you!" She hissed as she started to storm towards me, the fake Sam just started to go along with his lines as if Jessica was still there with him.

" Busted." I whispered as she got to me.

" Where the hell am I and where the hell is the real Sam? That is not him and I know this. . . all of this is something out of a dream or out of my real life! How the hell did you get a hold of all of this and please, _never _get into whatever it is again because all of that is just _mean_! I have already stuck up for you this year and I don't ever want to do it again! You people are really just jerks that care about whatever it is that you seem to care about and just _think _that you care about something else." She said angrily.

" I am sorry, I am just doing my job and you will be-" I said softly, trying not to get her even more upset.

" Safe here! After what you had told me last time and with everything that had happened, I will never believe you guys again for what you have done! Never! Do you know how long it took me to be able to be okay with being alone, months! I hope that you guys know that this was the first time that Sam has left my side since that day and all because of you guys! Now that you have taken me away from him, when and if you bring my back to him do not expect anything from him again! Or from me because I do not wish to be here and to be honest I want to out of here. Where the hell is here by the way?" She started to look all around to see everything she already knew about this place.

" Heaven." I said.

" But it looked different form what it did before." She said looking back at Sam. " And what the hell is that? _That _is not Sam!" For some reason all of this made me want to smile or laugh very hard, but I held it all in.

" This is your own personal heaven. The best moment of your life is right here and right now, this is the moment that you remembered forever. That is not Sam Winchester, that is your memory of Sam Winchester. If you were to die right now and be allowed into heaven, which to be honest is becoming very easy these days, this would be the place that you would come to for the rest of time. These would be the moments that you would re-live forever and ever." She looked around more and more.

" Wow. So this is my heaven?" She questioned.

" Did I not just say that?" I smiled as she moved back a little bit.

She placed herself on the ground below me and just looked up at the sky as it moved all around her, it was night time, which it had not been in her dream, but most things in heaven turned out to be night, I still have not figured that out. She was looking up at the sky and the many colors or it and all of the stars when I started to look around as well. It was actually shockingly beautiful, all of the times that I have been through all of the places in heaven, I have never had the time to just lay my head down and look all around. The sky was all different colors, some shades of light blues and dark blues, oranges and some greens all mixing and all making more even more epic color that made me re-think things. The moon was flying all around the sky it seemed like but I knew that it was not for her eyes, it seemed like she was just happy to be able to see all of the stars. I started to trace out many different things that I have learned from the vessel that I am possessing. The consolation Bellatrix was out and about doing it's thing tonight and so was everything else. From somewhere in the woods there was a crackling noise and I thought that it was just in her place in time and did not think about it, but she seemed to jump.

" What was that?" She asked.

" Nothing it must have been from your heaven." I said as I shrugged it off and went back to looking at stars and consolations.

" Well I really do not ever remember _him _being in my date! Who is that?" She jumped as a man in a tie came out from the woods, someone in a full suit actually who was coming very close to us.

" Oh, it's just Hael." I smiled as I waved him over to us. " What is it." I smiled as he came closer to us.

" I have news from Castiel." He said as I stood and thought about it.

" Well why would he send you this news before me? I mean I am caring for the girl and I should know anything before you as you do know." I said as I started to think about it as I saw Hael take out his sword. " What are you doing with that?" I asked as I started to pull mine out as well.

" The news was not from Castiel, it was from the person that I have really been working for." He smiled as he moved closer to me.

" Jessica! Run! Find the road! Go! Follow the road! Keep running!" I shouted as I pulled out my sword fully and exchanged swings with Hael.

" I would not be worrying about her when you really should be worried about yourself. Besides there are more that are after her." I could hear that there were steps coming from other places in the woods.


	11. Chapter 11

I did not know what to do, where to turn, any of it. All I knew was it turn and run after. The Angel- Rachel, had said for me to run and quickly, they starting to brawl with their swords and thats when I found a road and starting to run along the road, not really knowing where I was going. I looked back for only a moment to see Rachel on the ground, trying to fight for her life, trying to stop the other from killing her- but it was much too late, she was doomed to her death anyway. When I looked back though, everything was different, it seemed like a whole new world that I was in. I mean it was sunny and clear out, beautiful and smelled of spring after it had rained on concrete. Birds were chirping in the a tree's, talking to one another and going on about their lives. I moved from the street into a little blue house, starring in amazement. I was home- in a way I guess I was home, when I was a child that is. When I looked down at my clothes I found that I was in a little pink dress with little white and yellow flowers all over it.

" Jessica Lee get your little butt back here right now!" I turned to the house again to see my mother standing in her blue dress calling to me.

" _Mom_?" I smiled as I ran to her, wrapping my arms around her to feel that she was holding me back.

" Good to see you too honey!" She smiled as she pulled me inside. " We have been waiting for you to get done playing with your little flowers for too long now! Common we have to get the dinner table ready for dinner!" Mom smiled as she helped me into the kitchen and started to go along with her normal day.

" Hey Sis!" Someone said from behind, picking my up and swinging me all around, like I was the real age from this memory!

" David!" I screamed like a child! " You're here!" I jumped as he placed me back onto the hard ground and smiled.

" Yeah kid! I would never miss an easter dinner!" He smiled and then went and hugged my mother. " How have you been Mom?" He asked, I remember I left after this, got bored and just plain left. So I did as I was supposed to and went into my room.

This was somehow in my heaven just for the basic fact that my brother was here, he was much older then me and was in the military before I had even gotten out of elementary school. I remember the day that my mother came in and told me the news. I cried for days, forgetting how it felt to have dry cheeks because of how much I would miss him. They said that it was an accident, that by the time they got him to a doctor that he was already _too far gone _to be able to save. My parents never told me what type of accident he was in, only that he was so badly injured that we had to have a closed casket service because of how bad it was. . . or maybe just because they did not want to look at him and remember that he was never coming back, never _really _coming back home to us. They buried him in roses, looking back I guess that was the real day that I began to hate roses. They just seemed to sad and almost cheesy for a funeral in a way. Another thing that I learned is that I wanted to help people, to be there when they needed someone, either a nurse or a doctor. I guess that's why the memories with him in it, the ones I can remember, are the ones that I hold onto the ones that I find so nice.

" Hey Sis, wanna go up to the store with me and get some ice cream- Mom's having one of her cravings again." David smiled and I jumped up.

" Sure!" I smiled and we started out the door, that's when a white light started to shine through my memory.

Something was screaming through my mind to run, telling me that this is not a good thing that that I should hide from it. David looked like he did not notice a thing and just kept walking right along like it was no big deal. I ran back inside and hit in the broom closet near the back door, it was a very tight fit and some of my dress was hanging out of the door, but it was a comfy fit too. I was stuck in between a broom that had never been used and a much of little sandwich baggies for my lunches. I could hear noise, a painful kind of sound and the white light was starting to come through the whole house, making it shake and having things from above fall right onto my head or feet. I knew that someone or something was starting to come through the house, but I did not dare to move from where I was. Everyone else was going on with their days as if it was nothing new and started to talk as if there was no horrible sound or white light walking through the house.

" So do you believe that we should keep this child?" They were talking about my little brother Frankie, he's alive and well but this was when they really didn't know, I guess.

" Of course we should keep it!" My father shook through the house. " We aren't just going to give it up like some kind of freak that we don't want and we're not getting rid of it in the way that _you're _thinking either! Understand?" He hissed.

" Yes, but I was just trying to put other idea's-"

" _Understand_?" He hissed again.

" Yes!" She screamed and walked out of the kitchen.  
" Come out where ever you may be girl, I will only kill you slower the long that you wait out in here! You cannot hide in heaven from an angel silly fool!" I males voice shook at they house started to move again, I fell onto ground, holding my leads to my core and hoping that I would not be found here.

I looked all around to be able to find a road that would take me to another, new heaven but I could not find a single thing around me. I knew that the door was only a few steps away and if I were to run I would be able to make it to the road within second, but then I would still have to run and run. I looked around for a weapon, something to be able to give me a lead from them. But there was nothing around to be able to shield me from their powers, even _I _knew that! I searched inside of my next, to be able to run and be able to make it away from these fools who had taken me for the second time! That's when something hit me in the head with a light noise and then fell to the floor with the rest of my body, as I picked it up I noticed it was a picture. I opened it it see that it was when the whole family went to once of Dad's favorite sports- NASCAR racing! I smiled as the room started to spin around us and then I was in a place very unknown to me.

" Blood hell girl you had be running all over trying to find you before _they _would be able to find you! Did you know that to them you are like royalty right now? Since they can not seem to get their bloody hands on Cassy or those damn foolish brothers, they go after the helpless girl! Fools!" He said as I looked around.

" Who are you? Where am I? Why the hell can't I just go on with life without someone trying to kill me and trying to send me back to hell! I mean really what is it that attracted me to these weird supernatural things! I mean really though, all I ever did was sit around and make cookies and the _wham _the next moment I was on the ceiling on fire because of some fool that then I was dead! I mean that's not fair!" I stormed around the new room in anger.

" Listen, I'm-"

" No! _Don't tell me! _You are one of that angel's little friends and now _you _have been sent here to protect me- in which you will _not _be able to do and you will either send me back into the arm's of Sam for a few months, before coming back for me, or you'll just _die _and I'll be sent to fend for myself again! Tell me which one are you going to be!" I said, not hesitating with my words.  
" I would rather _not _like to die and just so you know yes, I am one of _that angel's _friends, but no he did not send me to retrieve you." He smiled as he went to a small bar and poured himself a small drink on Brandy. " Would you like some Love?" He smiled, I started to walk for the bar and took his glass from him.

" Trust me, after the day that I have had- no the life I have had since I was back- it's enough to be able to kill someone else or send anyone into the crazy house!" I said as I took a sip of the alcohol and let it slide down my throat.

" Cheers I guess." He smiled.

" So where are Sam and Dean? I mean one moment I was in a bedroom and Bobby's house and then the next I am pretty much in a fake Sam's lap re-living my greatest memory before my eyes!" I asked, he grinned.

" Greatest memory huh?" He smiled as he poured himself a glass. " Seems like a rather naughty memory for heaven eh?" He smiled as he took a large sip from his glass, leaving less then an inch in it.

" Not what you were thinking you fool! It was the first date that I went on with Sam and it's not like you think at all! I was cold so he allowed me to come and cuddle with him- I mean it was the first _real _date that we had with one another even though we had been dating for a little amount of time I guess is a better way to put it! But we didn't have sex or anything! So where in the world have you taken them?" I asked.  
" Me? Oh I have done nothing with them at all! The kids have just taken a little field trip down to Hollywood to have a small look around while you got an all expense day in heaven! Common wouldn't you love to have a day off from those wacky kid's while we pamper you to all of the good things in life _and _death?" He joked with me as he re-filled his glass, this time going to the rim with the alcoholic drink.

" But really, where have you taken them now?" I asked.

" Just a different universe. Don't you worry your little head about it." He smirked as he re-filled mine. I worried a lot.

" Why?" I asked, he turned and his face was filled with confusion.

" Why because Castiel asked me too and I went with his orders and took them to a new world, but you already knew all of this! _You _tried to ruin this plan. But I mean screw all of that to hell, really I do not even give a damn about this bloody war, I just like to be able to screw off Raphael's plans. I never really liked him from the beginning!" He smiled as he took another large gulp.

" Who _are _you?" I asked as I started to look around the room, it was a very nice house.

" Balthazar." His name did not ring any bells, which was a good thing in a way so I sat down on a nice leather couch and rested a little with my drink in hand. " Good to see that I have that type of effect on _you. _With your little lover, I had the opposite, even though since he was re-souled he seems to have a lighter heart about me. But when they both come back this time, man they may be bloody mad!" He smiled as he looked through the window.

Someone rushed through the door, barging in and tried to attack Balthazar, I screamed loudly and moved away from the couch to the table, Balthazar just took out his sword and started to him, fighting swords as the man came into more of a view for me to be able to see. He was tall and thin, but nothing out of the look of most angel's, he was nothing like Balthazar in jeans and a low v-neck. They were exchanging small words about how Balthazar should hand me and in his return to that he said that the other man should grow a pair and learn which side to really be on. The other man was winning this battle though, which his quick moves and the way that he handled his sword, he seemed like an artist with a paintbrush in a small way, making a beautiful painting out of this terrible moment. The other man had Balthazar pinned to the ground and I just looked around and found a large lamp. As swiftly and quickly as I could I yanked it from the wall and swung it at the angel, using all of my force and hitting the back of his head with it with a large clash. All he did was take the sword from Balthazar's throat and starting to move toward me with it. _Shit_/

" That was a real stupid move on your part _girl_." He hissed as he moved closer to were I was, I dropped the lamp and started to move backwards.

" Sorry!" I smiled and moved my head to my shoulder like all of the girl's do in the movies when they know they have fucked up royally. Balthazar moved upward though and smiled as he took out a lighter and threw it onto the floor, a large fire lit up around the room and he smiled as we were both out of it.

" Where did you get this from?" The man hissed.  
" Wouldn't you like to know?" Balthazar asked. He picked up something from behind the bar, it seemed like something that you would use to make a horrible noise. He pointed it at me and I felt my heart sank to the floor. " What do you think of me girl?"

" You're rather attractive, but I would never wear the shirt again, usually only jerks where those types of shirts." I spilled out and with my mouth wide opened I starred at him. " What the hell?" I asked.

" Good, thank you Love. I just had to make sure that this would work before I went to work on him. But before we do that I should probably get you to the bus stop so that you can meet the kids. They should be getting back anytime now." He smiled as he placed it down and moved towards me but turned back to the other man as he spoke. " You just stay where you are, oh and make yourself comfortable while you're at it. You will be here for quite a long time I'm afraid." He smiled as he placed his fingers on my head, I closed me eyes tightly and I could tell that we were flying through time.

" What was that, that thing that you used on me?" I hissed as I just looked at him.

" Horn of Gabriel. Makes _anyone _tell the truth, great for parties though! Really bloody great!" He smiled as he disappeared.

I could hear flying wings all around me and wondered what in the world was going to come for me next. . . maybe a zombie or something worse then even that! I would love to have my brains eaten out before my eyes. . . really! I've dealt with angel's and demon's why not add in some zombies and vampires while you're at it! I sighed as I sat down in Bobby's chair and noticed that someone had broken Bobby's window and just starred at it as there were more wings flying around and then standing in front of me was a man in a tall trench coat. Anger grew in my head and I wanted to just scream and yell and punch whatever I could find from his body. Then a calming voice wasted everything away.

" Jess! You are alright!" It said as he drew me into his frame and hugged me tightly. I could feel the tension starting to fill the room. " Where were you?" He asked as he started to let me go. I looked over at Castiel.

" You didn't! Cas what did I tell you the last time that you took her and she came back in two fucking pieces! You are to never take her again Cas! I can not believe that you would just up and take here like that as if she can't take care of her own damn self! Just leave the girl be for once. I mean really what in the world did you do to her _this _time! She looks like you have dragged her through hell and back!" Dean said as he looked over at me, his eyes full of concern.

" I had to make sure that she would be alright, to make sure that she would not get hurt." He said as he looked down and back up again.

" Well keep a better watch on your friggen army! You have so many people betraying you that you will never win anything!" I hissed and moved myself into Sam's body more. " Never let anyone take me away from you again." I said muffled in his scent.

" I never will. Ever." I could tell though that he was sending threat to Cas over my head.


	12. Chapter 12

Have you ever been able to watch a loved one die in your arms? To see the light leave their eyes, to be able to say goodbye to them and not hear the words come from their mouths back to you? How about hearing from someone else that all of your children are being killed off by another person to find out information and information only. I have seem the destruction that one demon has done to my children, killing them off and even killing my first born children! I knew that I was needed, that without me my children would all die! And I could never allow that to happen to them, ever! So I was brought back by some lovely children. Now, with the help of some new creations, I will either kill Crowley once and for all, or all of his precious souls will be coming to _my _hell. Which ever way he would like to play this game is that way that I will play it.

I have just one problem to deal with though, it is those _stupid _Winchester brothers and their little pet angel. They think that I am here to take over their little world, that I really just want to kill everyone on it. They would never understand that in fact that is the last thing in the world that I would ever want to do! I love this world and all of the things that are on it, created by me or god! I would never want to see any of it become ruined by my or his creations. But if that means that I have to turn every little human on this earth into my children, then I will do so, after all I could never have too many children. They only way that they will ever learn that is if I see them and very soon I will be seeing them. They seem to think that I will hurt them! And that they will have to fight me and be able to kill me in some way, they can not seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I would never want to hurt them! Silly little boys.

I sent them on a little mission the other day, making sure that they would have no place to leave their little girl in at that man's house. They think that she will be safe there, which she will be, but _they _seem to think that I would not be able to snatch her up there. They are _so _wrong when it comes to things that they seem to think that they know. I will make me appearance with her soon, since she must be hearing my voice by now. I whisper to her much more then she seems to think I do, she thinks that it is just the angels tapping into her again and again, but it's just her mother, whispering things into her little head. I have tried to get her to come to me, but she seems to slip away from it all and never seems to come to my lullaby. So she has now forced me to come to her, now made it the only way that I can see my little new-born is to come to her. Which I am very happy to do, I will be thrilled to come and see her. I just hope that she is prepared to see me.

" Mother." A small voiced came from the outside of the room, slowly coming into the room.

" Yes?" I smiled as I turned, to see a little werewolf standing in front of me.

" I have heard your call, I have heard you calling for me to come and find to. For me to be able to really see your face, to b e able to stand in front of you. It is a true honor to be able to finally meet you." He smiled softly.

" As it is to meet you as well child. Now please, tell me, what is your name?" I said softly.  
" Eli." He said, his eyes were filled with joy.  
" Well Eli, I am very pleased to meet you. But for now, we will have to meet up again because I have to go find another one of my children. One that will not come to my call, but believe me, I will come back and see you once again. But tell me one thing?" I asked, standing up.

" Anything!" He said, moving a little closer. " I will tell you anything that you would like to know!" He whispered.

" How many more of your kind are around this area? How many more are you able to go and find for me?" I asked looking into his blue eyes.

" There are about um. . . many ten around that have followed me here to be able to see you and we will be able to find as many are you want us to find! Really!" He said, voice becoming lighter and more concerned.

" Very good. Tell everyone to go and find as many werewolf's as they are able to find! When it comes to the full moon, change as many as you possibly can as well. Alright Eli?" I smiled widely.

" Yes Mother! We will do so!" He said and he was gone from the room.

" Very good, by the end of this month all of my creations will be up a hundred percent from just even last week! No hunter will ever be able to kill as many of my children as I will have soon! No demon will be able to do it either! I am creating a new army, one with different breeds all working as one, all working together." I said to myself, wiping a little blood off of my white dress. " That was a terrible creation." I said getting the last little bits of blood off. "Trial and error I guess." I shrugged, looking over at the five bodies at the back of the room. " Lots of errors."

But there was one creation that worked on the very first time that I placed it into a human, one that slipped even though great hunters like the Winchester's and even Bobby Singer! Slipped through the hands of an angel as well, even got into heaven! I was very pleased with her, she was an amazing child and soon she would be making more of her kind for me. Soon her powers will be shinning through and no one will be able to stop her once she is set off. She will never be able to die, never be able to be killed by anyone or anything! Stronger then any evil thing out there that may want to kill her and even better then that, no demon will be able to kill her. She will be able to take anyone out and be able to lead an army so great. Crowley may have brought her back for a good reason, but not was she brought back for an even better reason! No memories would be able to break the little wall that had been sealed up in her head, she will be able to even remember her birth if she wanted to soon! She will be the pride and joy of my life, she will be the one that will be able to end all of this for me. She will be the one that will stay up on earth, to protect all of my children while I take care of the one's in purgatory. She will be able to hear me, even from down there and will be able to live out any idea's that I have. She will be great!

I left the little room just in time to hear a roar of wolfs from outside that were going out to find more of their kind. I left for a small town in the middle of no where and thought of all of the damage that I could do here, but I would never do it. I went to a junkyard at the edge of town and knew that I was in the right place. It was Bobby Singer's house there was no denying that. The house reeked of iron and salt, I just smiled as I went and knocked on the room. No one was going to come out and answer the door though, I knew that they boys had told her to _never _answer the door when they were not there. I knew everything that they had learned about me and everything that they did not know just yet from me. It was so good to be able to have someone on the inside that would be able to tell me everything I needed to know. I knocked once more before breaking the door and walking in.

" Hello?" I chimed out as I walked into the house. " Is anyone home?" I asked, knowing that she was hiding. " I didn't mean to scare you!" I smiled as I saw her in the kitchen. " There you are Jessica. I have been knocking on the door for a few minutes now." I smiled as I walked into the room.

" What- what do you want?" She asked softly. " I know who you are!" She said, hand dripping with a soft layer of blood.

" I really do not believe that you do Hun, otherwise you would know that little blood drawing you created is not going to work on me because I am not an angel. I am a lot older then an angel and yes, I have been the one speaking to you as well. We really need to speak Jessica, it is very important that you know who you really are now." She looked concerned and scared. " Do not be afraid Jessica, I am no one to be afraid of. I will not let anything happen to you like those disgusting angel's had done to you. If I were able to, I would have saved you from them up there." I smiled, sitting in a chair a crossed from her.

" Who are you then?" She asked.

" Well I am your mother now sweetheart." I smiled. " I am the mother of all new creations to this earth and even some of the first ones that were ever made! You are the one that I had been looking for though for a very long time. You are the one creation that I have been meaning to make since the beginning of time Jessica." I said looking into her eyes. " You are important."

" I am? How?" She asked, all of the fear leaving her eyes.

" Because, you will be to one that will be able to kill Crowley, you will be able to lead my army even if I die. You will be able to protect all of your brothers and sisters from whatever may happen. I have given you a very special gift Jessica." She was deeply into the words that were coming from my mouth now.

" How so, and how are you my mother? What gift? Brothers and sisters, I only have one brother and he died in-"

" I know that your _old _brother died in battle, but all of your new brothers and sisters, the ones that _I _have created are dying. The ones that will be able to live all around you for the rest of time, the ones that should not all be dying, entire species are dying out Jessica! All of your older brothers and sisters, slowly dying. I am your mother because I have changed you and created you into something very new and special. I am your mother and the mother of all things." I smiled, giving myself a little pride.

" _You're Mother?_" She said, I could feel her little heart starting to race a little more from where I was.

" Yes Jessica, and you are my child now. Now you are starting to understand." I said, placing my hand on top of hers.

" So I am a monster?" She asked.

" No! You are no monster, you a just a child. You are something new that people will not be able to understand for a little while, but soon, they will all see you as a high powered person. Someone they will look up to and someone that will be remembered for the rest of time Jessica. You are my most important child. You are the alpha of all alpha's now." I smiled holding onto her hand tighter, my spell was falling under her.

" Really?" She smiled. " I am that special that you have given my that title Mother? You really would pick _me _of all people to give this special power to? I am thrilled to hear this, but why me?" She smiled, she was under my little spell now more then ever before.

" Because you were sent here my Crowley because he was going to use you for his little game, as he has been with the rest of my children, and I thought that was terrible. You were just being used for a little game, so I made she that nothing would happen to you and I made you into something powerful and strong. Something that no one would be able to kill or hurt anymore. I know that you have been nearly killed many times, but with every time that you have been killed, it just made you stronger. Believe me child, you will never have to worry about demons or angels again. When I give you all of your powers, you will be stronger then the strongest angel." I whispered, touching her face softly with my other hand.

" Really?" She smiled with my touch still one her soft face. " Stronger then an angel?"

" Stronger then all of the angel's combine, you will have powers much older then any angel and be able to do things that they have not even dreamed about! That is if they were able to dream of course." She laughed at this.

" Thank you Mother." She was under my trance completely.

" You are very welcome my child." I smiled.

I loved being able to talk to my children, to be able to get to know them and to just be able to talk for once and a while without having a death threat placed on my head! This child was sweet and very misunderstood by all of the people around her. She was calm and caring and her life had some very sad parts in it, some parts that no person should have to go through and some parts that were so amazing and so loving that I could not be able to describe. She would be able to do many great things with her powers, things that I would never be able to think about doing with them, things that would changed the earth forever. She was going to make Earth a much better place and protect it from Crowley's mission and from the battle in heaven. She would make sure that all of the creations would be looked after and that everything would stayed in balanced. We are going to stay in good contact, this child and I. She was one that I looked after and would always make sure will be well looked over.

We spoke for quite a long time till it was getting close to darkness- soon the hunters would be coming back to make sure that she would be alright. I knew that they had killed one of my newest creations, Jessica did as well, she could feel it die from her heart as I could. I told her that _that _was what it was like to lose a child, to have a whole species die. I made that creation just for that reason, so that she would know how it felt. She hated the feeling and said that she would never have a species die out like that ever again. She knew from that moment the gift that I had giving her, she was very pleased with it as well. She knew that she was something that would never be messed with and would never be killed in the line of battle. When I was crated, only one thing would be able to kill me, the ash of a phoenix, but not even that would kill me. Besides, I doubt that Sam would allow big brother Dean to kill his one true love like that. Which is another reason why I chose her for this mission.

She would be protect by hunters and would be the best at making new children. She had all of the powers that I had and some more that I had thought up when I was giving her the powers while her and Sam slept one night. She would never be able to die, not even with the ash of a phoenix being shoved down her throat would she die. She would be able to create all new types of children to live and roam the earth and she would protect all of them. Jessica would be able to speak to all of them and control them as I can and she will be able to contact myself if I am to die and go back to purgatory. She will be able to handle everything up here and even be able to kill an angel with just a touch, with a look she can kill any demon. Even the mother of all demons will not be able to kill her, that stupid whore Lilith will not be able to kill her but little Jessica will be able to kill her. When I was about to leave, trouble came into the house.

" Jessica, were back!" Sam called out, Jessica looked over at me.

" Jess-" They walked into the kitchen to see me, Dean loaded his gun and aimed it at me.

" No!" Jessica screamed.

" It is alright Jessica, I was just about to leave." I smiled, looking at Dean.  
" We know who you are Bitch and you are not going anywhere." He hissed.

" I'm sorry boys, but I really must be leaving now." I smiled, Dean took a shot at me.

" No!" Jessica screamed, Sam moved over to her and blocked her.

" It that _really _all that you have Dean?" I smiled.

" Why are you trying to protect _her _Jessica." Sam asked Jess

" Well I see that the three of you did not have fun today." I smiled looking around.

" Because! Don't her hurt anymore!"

" Shut up you stupid whore." Bobby said directly to me.

" Because why!" Sam asked.

" Ouch, I see someone did not have fun. Did you find out how to kill my baby?" I asked. The glared. " Let me ask you one little thing. If I were to make let's say Sam into a new little monster, would you all take aim and fire at him? Would _you _Dean kill your own brother because he is a monster in your mind?" I smiled.

" What the hell are you talking about?" Dean said and Bobby was looking around for something.

" Because why Jessica?" Sam hissed.

" Let's just say that there is a new little creation in this room. Would you Sam-" He looked over at me. " Try to kill Jessica because she is a monster? Would you kill her?" I smiled, he left Jessica's side and came towards me.

" What did you do to her!" He yelled.

" Sam get away from her!" Dean yelled and drabbed him my the arm.

" I just made her into me. Powerful then all of you put together!" I smiled. " Good luck handling _that_." I smiled and left.


	13. Chapter 13

" What the hell do we do with her, I mean did you guys hear what mother said about her. She turned her into some kind of new wave of monster! Who knows if at any moment she will try to kill all of us and we will not know how in the world to kill her!" I said, looking back in the room where we had left Jess, she was starring off into space.

" Maybe we should just test all of the things that we _already _know, all of the monsters we know, see if one gets a response. Silver, iron, electrocution-" Bobby was cut off by Sam- of course.

" No, we are not electrocuting her!" He refused.

" Sam look at her! She is not herself! Eve has changed her into something completely new, that may not even be her in there and she may be suffering on the inside! How knows if there is something in there that is eating away her brains or something!" I said, trying to get him away from defending her so much. I knew though that I had really hurt him with what I said, _dammit._ " Listen we all know that you love her and blah blah, but we have to get her back to normal is all that I am saying. You see what that new monster made all of us do, you remember burying Rufus right? Well you may be having to bury me or Bobby or the both of us if we don't find out what kind of monster we area dealing with." I said.

" Agreed and we should do it kind of quickly too." Bobby said and motioned towards where Jess had been. She was talking to herself, we moved in a little closer.

" Oh, of course they are talking about me, what else would they be doing besides making a plan right about now." She laughed over something. " You want me to do what? I don't really know if I am ready for something as big as_ that _just yet. I mean you did just give me all of these new gifts and I just wanted to say thank you again Mother. No- I could never do that. You cannot just try to do that again Mother. I am sorry but I am in love with one of them." She paused for a long time. " No the others and pretty nice as well. You know hunters, they kill some of us, we kill some of them. No- they are not the problem here, we have to go and find _him_, they do not have a clue about him." There was another pause. " No it is something about their angel, the one that held me hostage because I was weak and not a hunter. . . yes the one with the overcoat and that follows the shorter one like a puppy."

" Woah, Cas follows me like a puppy?" I asked and Sam and Bobby nodded and looked back to Jess, who was still going right along.

" They believe every word that he says and they believe because of him and do not know about the evil one because of the trench coated angel. They would not be of any service to you because of that, I am sorry Mother." She paused and smiled. " Thank you Mother, he is a very nice boy once you get to know him. Do what? No never, I would never be able to do that to him." She frowned.

" I think she just saved your ass." I whispered.

" That's my girl." Sam said very happy.

" I will begin very shortly Mother, I would like to test out the others before I get into the bigger stuff if that it alright with you. I am a little scared to try and think up something too big, I will just try out littler things before anything else. Really I can not thank you enough for what you have done for me. This is a blessing and even more so a gift that you did not have to place on me. You will let my other siblings know about me? Thank you!" She smiled a very sincere smile. " Goodbye Mother." We all moved back into the kitchen.

We all could hear her moving towards the kitchen, we all started to shuffle around to make it seem like we were all doing something. Bobby walked out of the room all together and went to his _study_, I went to the refrigerator and dragged a few beers and Sam went and sat down at one of the kitchen chairs. Jess walked in and took a beer from my hand, took another for Sam and went and sat right down in his lap. The look on his face and mine were about the same, shock. Jess has never done a thing like this before, or at least when people have been in the room, or at least when _I _have been in the room. She opened both beer caps with her hands and gave Sam his and took a sip from hers before kissing him on the lips down to his neck. His mouth opened with shock and he looked even more in shock.

" Are you feeling alright Jess?" He asked.

" Better then alright! I feel amazing!" She smiled and kissed him on the lips again.

" Tell me about it then!" He smiled and I walked out of the room and found Bobby looking over and watching them with just as much shock as me. I shrugged and handed him a beer. We sat and listened to them for a little.  
" Mother is much more powerful then any of you know, she is old and wise and so sweet. You all think that she is out to kill you guys and the rest of the world but really she isn't. I really can't tell you guys much because well, I just can't because of the people that you are working with. But I have to say she is so sweet. And no, I am not a bad monster, I am not a monster at all really. I am her child not, I have the best of the best-" That sounds familiar when someone _changes _a person into something bad. " That I have a destiny and it is with her and her plans! She has given me such an amazing gift Sam. I will live forever, never die! She told me to change you into something, anything. You would never die and I could do it to Dean and Bobby as well! But I told her no for now. I know that you would never go for that, for now." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

" Well thanks for that Babe, I really appreciate you not changing me into a monster." He said, unsure about what else to say in this matter.

" I think that we should really call Cas in on _this _one Dean. We really need his help figured out what the hell she is and why the hell Eve would change _her _into it and if there even is a way to change her back into a human!" Bobby said, I nodded.

" Listen, Cas we could really use your help down here with Jess. Eve changed her into some kind of a monster and I think that she could really be putting all of us in danger right now. Please Cas, we could really use your help on this one." The wings were around and then Cas was in front of us.

" Were is the girl." He said and we pointed towards where Jess and Sam was, we followed as he walked into the room.

" This is gonna be good." I smiled and looked to Bobby, who frowned and shook his head.

" Castiel." Jessica said and stood up from her seat, from Sam.  
" Cas what are you doing here?" He asked.

" We called him to check her out." Bobby said and moved closer to Sam.

" Get away from me Angel." Jessica hissed and moved away from him a little.

" I can not tell you want she is, just has so many powers that I could not tell you." Castiel said but kept getting closer to Jess.

" So what are you doing now?" I asked, starting to worry.

" Trying to see if what I believe is true or not. . ." Even Cas looked confused about Jessica.

She kept backing away and looking at Cas with fake fear that Cas could not tell the difference from real or not. She wasn't fooling me though, as Cas finally got close to her he toucher her above the chest and nothing happened. She smiled at his and looked at him. She was smiled such an evil smile that she looked inhuman for a minute, Cas opened his eyes and looked even more confused then her. He tried to do whatever again but nothing happened. She pulled on his arm and he went flying to my feet. We all looked at her like she was a superman and looked back at Cas. She had thrown him like he was only about a pound. She looked at him and then back to us. It seemed like Jessica was coming back now and she looked almost sad and in fear of what she had done.

" I-I, are you hurt Cas?" She asked but Cas got right back onto his feet and moved almost straight for her.

" What are you?" He demanded an answer. She looked around for an answer from face to face until she came back to Cas'.

" I am a new creation of Mothers." She said shyly, not even looking Cas in the eye.

" Yes and what powers do you have?" He asked.

" All." She replied with.

" All? Wait mother gave you the jackpot?" I pitched in and she nodded.

" I have all of the powers that she has and more." Cas seemed very impressed with his and moved a little away from her.

" Why is it that I cannot harm you?" He asked.

" Wait! You were trying to hurt her?" Sam yelled and got up from his seat, pushed Bobby away and moving towards Cas.

" Sam, it was the only way to see what she was, I was only going to try and touch her soul and-"

" That shit, from what I have seen, hurts like a bitch. You should have told us before you just went and did that Cas!" I added in.

" Do not ever think to try and hurt her Cas." Sam growled and went and held Jessica, or what we thought was Jess.

" You cannot harm me Castiel because I have powers much older then you have, see I am older then all of you angel's. Mother was around long before all of you and so went she gave me her powers, she gave me the guide on how to use them too. Until I allow you to, you're just a little human like everyone else in the world." She smiled, holy shit.

" You can lead us to mother then?" Castiel said.

" Well yes, but I would never do such a thing. I have figured out what you want with Mother Angel. Trust me, she will never do such a thing to this world. She would never want a thing like that and you think that you know a way to pry it out of her? You are so funny, really. You think that you can lie to them? That you can tell them all of these lies and that they will just hold up like super glue? No Castiel, it will never work out like that." What the hell was this chick talking about.

" I do not know what you are talking about Jessica. Clearly Eve has changed your mind and made you think something that is not true." He replied with.

" That what you want them to think for now. You don't want them to know your dirty little secrets huh? Okay, for now I will allow that to be left alone. But if you think that you will ever hard them Castiel, use them in your little game with the King? Don't I will stop you before you can do anything about it. And you better believe that." She hissed and moved into Sam a little more.

We all looked around the room confused at one another, looking back at forth as if we were supposed to know what was going on. Cas just stood there and looked at his feet as if he was trying to think of something to say, I knew that there was something there he wanted to say but he would not even look me in the eyes. Sam was looking down at Jess and had her wrap so tightly I doubt that she could even breath. She looked happy though, she looked pleased with herself and with the things that she has said. Cas was hopeless right now, he was stuck to the ground and had no real place to go till Jess let him go, that seemed like it wasn't gonna happen any time soon. Me and Bobby just looked from face to face and took another large gulp from our beers.

" I am sorry but I really have to go now, I have some tings that I have to try out before Mother checks up me on again. I promised that I would try some things out. If you will excuse me." She smiled and get out of Sam's grasp and started to walk out. " Oh and Castiel." He looked over at her. " Sit around for a little while longer and really feel what it's like to be a human." She smiled and walked out. We all followed her to the front door.

" Where are you going Jess?" Sam asked and grabbed her by the arm.  
" I am just going to see if some of my powers work Hun, don't worry about it okay? I'll be back in no time. . . well as long as everything works out the way that I hope they will. If they don't well then I'll call ya." She smiled but Sam would not let go of her.

" Don't leave." He said and pulled her in. " I would be much too worried if you left."

" Chill I'll be gone for _maybe _five minutes." She said and he let go. " If I'm not just call me." He smiled and then she was gone, left in mid air and we all looked in shock.

" She is not good with her powers just yet." We all looked back over to see that Cas was behind all of us.

" What the hell did she mean with all of those riddles Cas?" I asked but he just looked away.

" I have to go before she gets back here once again." He said and then _he _was gone too.

Sam looked like a little puppy, he was sitting on the front stairs of the porch and just looked around as if Jess was going to pop up on one of the cars screaming for him. It seemed like he was thinking that she was always going to need her help, that she was going to be the girl that he found when he first met her forever. Now that this has all been thrown at the both of them, who the hell knows if they will even be on speaking terms, let alone loving terms. It never works out in the hunting world anyway- I wonder how Lisa is, I mean I know that she is moving on and all, but I wonder how she really is. And Ben- What the hell? Well relationships never work.

" I'm back!" Jess said but there was someone behind her as well.

" Thank god!" He smiled but then saw the person as well.

" Who's this Jess?" I smiled and moved out to see a beautiful blond standing behind her, flawless and smiling.

" Oh this? She's my first creation." Jess smiled and moved for her to come closer.

" Hello." Bobby said and moved outside as well.

She was flawless, there was not a single thing that was wrong with her in the least. She had beautiful tanned skin- seemed like it was all natural as well. She had big, beautiful blue/ green eyes, and the whites smiled all around the world. With these long legs that were only covered by a mini skirt and a chest that could make anyone go wild with just a little tang top over it which only went to a little above her belly button, that made me want to scream. And hanging on her belly button was this little ring, she saw me looked at her and waved very sexually over to me with a smile. She moved a little closer and her hips swayed every time that she moved. I could feel my mouth started to drop to the ground but I could not help it for the life of me, I just stayed and smiled and waved. She turned around to look at Jess for a moment just to show the perfect ass she had, round and beautiful. I could not stop starring till she turned back around to see that I had been looking and all she did was giggle.

" I hope that you like what you see." She said and moved in a little closer but Jess made her stop.

" What's your name beautiful." I said.

" Sarah." She said and her eyes light up. " And yours?"

" Dean."

" Sorry Dean. But she is supposed to be the perfect girl to anyone that looks on her, to every man she looks different. It's supposed to cause an uproar any place that I put her in. She's only a little test dummy, I'm still working out all of the kinks that she has and trust me she has plenty." Jess said as she sat down next to Sam, who seemed unaffected.

" Like what?" I asked and turned back to see that the whole who seemed perfect before had become an old red headed woman with a thick line of hair above her lip and a scar going from where her tang top left off till her mini skirt came to. " What the hell?" I said and backed off.

" See this is what I'm talking about. I mean she just keeps screwing up!" She said, snapping her fingers and the thing blew up! The woman was gone and just a little blood on my jacket to prove it.

" Sorry Dean. She wasn't a real person if that makes it better." She smiled.

" It doesn't." I hissed.

" How did you think about creating _her_?" Bobby asked.

" Well I thought about the Greek goddess of beauty and love and _bam! _There she was! It was pretty easy actually." She smiled.

" Why didn't it effect Sam?" I asked.

" Cause I did not want it to."She said. " Mother says I should come up with as many things as possible. Bring as many people onto our side as we can!" She smiled, we all looked at one another. _Shit. _


	14. Chapter 14

I should not have told them all of that, none of it should have slipped out of my mouth, but all of it had. I knew that I was going to be in big trouble when Mother heard about this, she may scold me or even worse take back all of my powers. . . if she was able to even do that. I knew that I would have to come up with as many creatures as I possibly could to make her pleased. . . maybe start crossbreeding things, making them different and strong. Something that would be able to make her very happy, to bring out that smile she had inside o her that I had seen only but once before. In the little amount of time that I have none her for, I know that she is not a terrible person, or anything like that. She is just trying to protect her children from becoming instinct, from allowing a _demon _into our world and taken our souls away!

They were all looking from me to each other, trying to think of something to say or something to do. I did not know if they were going to try and lock me up someplace or what they would do. I knew that the angel would want to leave soon, knowing that he had other places to be and other _things _to see. Something from inside me told me that he was not really on our side, that he was working with the other side, Crowley's side. They way that he had burned the wrong bones- that Crowley had known what he was doing and knew when to burn like that- it all seemed so weird to me. I knew that he was not on our side, but I wanted to keep him around for just a little longer, make them think that I was something more then they could ever imagine.

" Boy's I think that we have all of this wrong. I mean Jessica could really help us out with everything that is going on if you really think about it. She can show us places on where monsters- people, sorry Hun- are really alright and when they really are not. I mean think about it, this may be a miracle that Eve has given to us." Ellen said as she wrapped her arm slowly around me.

I have never known this woman only moments before, I never knew who in the world she was or why she had wrapped her arm around me and was defending me. But then everything hit me like a bunch of bricks falling from a train. Ellen was a woman- a hunter with a daughter that Dean had feeling for. She was married to Bobby and really should be dead. Beside some stupid angel had gone back in time and changed something or another she was now alive when she was not supposed to be. She was supposed to be as dead as I- maybe even more dead come to think about it- her and her daughter were supposed to be dead from an explosion when the whole Lucifer vs. Micheal thing was still going down. The only true reason she was still alive- or brought back to life, is because an angel went back in time and stopped- I had to think about what in the world he had stopped and then it came to me quickly. _That damn angel was sent back in time to stop the Titanic from sinking because Cassy boy was running low on souls to eat up! _I glared over at Castiel and he looked down at his shoes, he knew that I knew.

" Thank for you thinking that way Ellen. I would have never really use me powers for _bad_. You see it's just all because Mother needs more people- I cannot say why because well- shit. Well anyway I need to do it, it's not like I will be killing random people or anything like that!" I said, looking over at Sam.

" Right, like we are to believe this from someone who has been changed into a _monster_-" The angel shot that out like a bullet and it stung into my heart. " from Eve would _never _use her powers for bad, because that's not what they do. How are we supposed to believe this?" He asked.

" I know what you did Castiel." I said lowly.

" _What_?" He said back, knowing that he was caught and had to think of something better then what he had already said.

" I said. I know what you did Castiel. With the Titanic." I said louder. " How you sent and angel back in time to make sure that it never sank. Saving thousands of lives and bring them to your side for use, I know how much souls can go for now. It's funny how fast you learn things when you have this much power." No one else was moving, I noticed this quickly. Castiel had stopped time, I smiled.

" You do not know _a thing _about me!" He hissed.

" I know that my powers are much older then even your kind Castiel. That you have been working with the man that brought me back from hell, Crowley right? That you and him are trying to find a way into purgatory. Funny I thought that angel's and demon's were not supposed to get along as lovers, but whatever floats your little raft I guess." Power was eating over me again.

I did not know how this all happened but it seemed to when I was near Castiel. He seemed to trigger my power rage into something that I was not used to, someone who could be feared and someone who should be feared. I had no way to control any of it besides letting it all out and hoping that I would not kill him one way or another. I believed that it was only because he was killing all of my Siblings, the people that I cared about and the people that looked up to me like a big sister. He was sitting back and watching as all of them were starting to get killed and none of them could help it either. I knew that he was always going to be testing me now then ever, I would never be safe when I was near him now, they would be after me soon, that was one thing that I would be looking out for. Demons and angel's trying to come and take me away from Sam. Never again would anyone be able to take him away from him. I tried to come over the rage by thinking of Sam, but it did nothing because of the Angel's small smile coming from a crack in the corner of his mouth.

" You would not understand the war that we are having-" I cut him off.

" Trust me, I know all ab out that damn war that you are having up there. That you are losing Castiel and soon you think that you will not be able to win soon. I have known this for awhile, that you know that you are going to lose, that people are starting to leave your side for the other. This just means that you are a poor general. Castiel, you know that what you are doing is wrong, when the boys find out- they will never be happy about it and will not forgive you." I said.

" I know, they will never find out." He said, looking up at me with his blue eyes.

" They will not find out from me. But come near any of the first born children, come near many more of the children together, Mother will have a word with the boys and it will be bye bye Castiel."

I closed my eyes and tried to start time up again. It took a few tires of thinking rather hard and having my heart start to beat rapidly before the time starting back up again. Ellen holding my shoulders and rubbing them gently as she smiled and looked from each of the boys. I gave an innocent smile and looked straight into Sam's eyes, he knew that he had missed something. It was something big that I had promised that I would not tell, I would not even tell Sam this news because it would be too ground breaking even for him. I just smiled over at him and then looked down at my shoes. They were a different brand then they had been before- it also hit me that brands would be very different in this time now as well. I realized that there was no Impala, that it was not a Mustang that had been through so many things with the Boys and that there were no real such things as Impala's now. Sad thought.

" Well common into the kitchen with my Hun, you can help on a little dinner before the boy's go out and about on a little hunt. You are going with them right?" I nodded and followed them into the kitchen. As I walked I allowed Castiel to leave the building.

" So tell me about the whole Mother thing. I mean what's it like having all of the powers that she has all wrapped into a neat little present like that?" She smiled as she handed me a knife and a potato to peal.

" Well it's like something that I would have never dreamed of. I mean she is an amazing woman for all of the things that she is going through and all of the people that are against her for being well. . . what she is. I think for her to give _me _of all people this gifts, well it means that I have a place in this world I guess." I smiled and looked down at my potato and then noticed the little ring on my finger.

The memory came flooding back as if someone just turned a light on inside my brains. I was not really watching it, but my body was on cruise control and I was watching from inside me head and moving along with it. I was walking down a long white isle with few people really there to see what was going on. I was in a long white dress and I could feel and rather long train floating from my head to the floor. I was holding a bunch of different flowers in my hands roses, babies breath, lilies of different kinds, lavender flowers, one little tulip in the middle. I was holding my breath and I could not feel myself moving, but I knew that I was. All I could see was Sam standing in the from of the little church with the tux that he used when he was an FBI agent. His hair was parted and moved in just the right way. I knew that it was winter because of the cold that I could feel around me. We said our vows and had pictures taken outside of the church. Only a few because we never really knew who was around. All of this happened very quickly after I had come back from hell, I had only been alive for a week it seems.

" Hun, your finger." When I had been in my memory, I guess that I had still been trying to peal the potato and sliced my finger right open.

" Oh. Ow." I said and wrapped it in the nearest towel.

" What happened?" Sam came running in to see my finger wrapped up.

" Nothing, just had a memory." I said looking down, feeling no pain anymore and saw that my finger had healed right back up. " Oh, wow." I said, looking at my finger and seeing nothing but a little, fading, scar.

" A memory like what? Like wall coming down memory, or just a regular memory?" He asked, looking at me with his concerned eyes. All I could do was smile and realized that I was married to this man.

" Just an amazing memory that I had forgotten all about." I smiled and jumped at him with a hug, holding him in close and taken in his scent of old spice and a little alcohol.

" Oh. . . okay then." He said and wrapped his long arms around my body, pulling my in closer.

" Maybe the three of you should leave in the morning. Jo should be back any time and I think that Dean and her will not be able to part from one another. If you know what I mean." Ellen said, still pealing things as she spoke. " I do know that Dean has some big plans for that girl. Big plans." She smiled.

" Don't ruin it for the both of them Ellen!" Bobby said. I was shocked at how happy he was with her around.

" What are they talking about?" I whispered into Sam's ear as he moved me around so that I could see everyone else.

" Not a clue." He whispered back. That's when we all heard the door open, foot steps coming in and I could feel Sam's grip on my tighten.

" Guy's we're back!" Jo's voice came through the hall, I smiled a little. Something inside of my told me that she was a good girl. Then another memory came back into my mind.

A hunt, in the very beginning when I had come back from being dead. Right when me and Sam wee _just _getting to know one another again. They had left me at Bobby's with Joe because Ellen and Bobby were hunting as well. I had no clue about any of the things that were going on besides what Sam had told me. Anything else was up in the air and I had not a single clue. I wanted to know more and this yellow eyed demon, why he had killed _me_ of all people. What happened to make him want to kill me? To ruin Sam's life. I was at a moment where I was about ready to have a breakdown because I had no clue, I just didn't know what to do. Joe plopped herself down next to me, smiled, wrapping her arm around my shoulder's and told me that it was going to be alright. Anything she knew would be _everything _ I knew by the end of the night. She went on to tell me the story of Sam's mother, how the Sam thing had happened to her, but because she had made a deal. The only reason on why it had also happened to me was because the yellow eyed demon wanted Sam to be trained, prepared, for some type of battle royal against all types of physic kids. She then went on to tell me how her father had died because of a hunting trip including Sam and Dean's father, how she refused to talk to them for a long time when she found out. Even how she nearly died because a hell hound ripped her into pieces, but Dean carried her all the way to where they needed to be, because he refused to give her up. I knew she was a good girl. I came back into it to see Dean kissing Joe with such passion, I had never seen from Dean before.

" Good to see you too Dean-O." Jo smiled and looked over at me. " And I see we don't have our little monster locked up." Joe tried to come over and give me a hug, but was kept away by Dean, who was holding her by the waist.

" They tried, but I escaped and then threatened to lock them all up if they tried to do it again. They didn't seem to really like that idea _too _much." I smiled a little as well as Joe.

" Well they probably just didn't do it because they didn't want to hurt our little future hunter in the making. Do we know if you guy's are having a little boy or girl yet? Or even if it's a human or not?" I could feel my mouth drop to the ground, Jo was looking right at my and I knew she was talking about me.

I looked down at my stomach and then behind me to Sam, who was smiling more then ever and then _this _memory hit me as well. It was dark out, we were in a motel in the middle of no where. Dean was out somewhere with Jo because it was the first time that they had seen each other in awhile. I was crying in the car, trying to hide all of my fears and emotions from Sam, who I thought was inside the motel, trying to call Bobby. He had found the positive pregnancy test inside, on the bathroom floor. I had walked out when he was, back facing the bathroom. He came and seat in the backseat with me, took my hands and looked me in the eyes. I wanted to cry more, but felt like I should not in front of Sam, that it would be bad in some sort of way. We just starred at one another for awhile, not really knowing what to say or to do. Finally he broke the silence.

" _I am so sorry that I have gotten you into his mess." He said softly, breaking our eye contact with the silence. _

" _It's not just your fault Sam. We were foolish, like teenagers, and now we have to pay for it in more ways then one." I said. _

" _But I am putting you in even more danger then before, don't you see that? First of all, just being with you is a danger because I'm a hunter and you have never shot a gun in your life before." We both laughed a little. " By putting another life in the line, putting you in more danger because who knows who will with this thing- this child dead, I am so sorry." He said, putting his head down. _

" _We will both be safe as long as you are around, or Dean, or hell Bobby! As long as there is somehow how can tell me what to do, where to hide, I will be safe. Hell keep me handcuffed to your side if it makes you feel better. All I know is this is not just your fault, and that there is nothing to be sorry for." I said softly. " I just wish that it didn't have to be this way, that our child-" _

" _Wouldn't have to be brought up like me?" He mumbled._

" _That our child would not have to be home schooled by a drop out like me. If you really can called me a drop out." I smiled, this made him laugh a little too. _

" _Do you think that I can be a good dad?" He said._

" _I know that you will be an amazing father." _

" _Thanks." He gave me a giant kiss._

That was months ago now, right before we had gotten married as I remember. Now I was piecing things together, letting things fall into place as they may. We had gotten married because of the fact that I was pregnant and we did not want to have it come into this world completely fucked up. I cried when Sam gave me the ring, knowing it was half because of the child and only half because of true love. But I told him it was because I was so happy. We got married _so _fast because I still wanted to look beautiful in a dress, although Sam said I would look beautiful when I was nine months pregnant. He was so good at making me feel amazing about myself. I was shook back into the world by his voice.

" We're having a boy." Sam smiled, placing his hand onto my stomach.

" No way!" Dean chimed in and started to move for us. " You mean my bother actually has enough balls to make a boy! Congrats Sammy!" He hugged Sam first, the turned to me, picked me up and spun me around. " Congrats _Sis_." This was the first time that I had ever heard Dean call me Sis, but I truly loved it.

" I am so happy for you both! What are you going to name him!" Joe smiled as she hugged me tightly.

" You want to tell them?" Sam said, bringing me back to him, re-placing his hands on my stomach.

" No, it'll sound better coming from you." I smiled, having no clue.

" We were thinking Jensen Dean." Sam smiled.

" Well the hell did you get _Jensen_ from?" Bobby said carefully not to offend me.

" _Dean_?" Dean said quietly, I smiled and nodded.

" Well John Dean didn't sound good, so I stayed up one night and saw this soap opera with the name Jensen in it. I fell in love and well that's how we got the full name!" I smiled.

" _Dean_?" Dean repeated.

" Yes!" I smiled, laughing a little.

Like Ellen had predicted, we were going to be spending the night at Bobby's house. Which was fine with me. With all of the memories that were coming back, I really did not want to be traveling. We got the bed, because of my back problems with the baby and all. Bobby and Ellen got their own room, because it was their house and Jo and Dean got to spend the night on the couch, which Bobby was not to happy about. But around midnight I heard them make their way to the Impala, to keep Bobby happier with them. I could feel little pops in my stomach, I knew that it was the baby, Sam was asleep beside me and I awoke him.

" What? What's wrong? Don't tell me your water broke!" He said, loudly.

" No. . . no. Feel." I said, lifting his large shirt off of my stomach and placing his hand onto my stomach, where the popping was coming from, placing it firmly onto it.

" What am I supposed to be-" Then he felt it, the little kicks coming from inside of me. " Is he?" I nodded and he smiled. " Oh wow!" Was all that he could say and he placed his head next to his hand on my stomach.

" This feels so weird!" He added it.

" You should feel it from my point of view." I smiled.

" Hey Jensen, it's Daddy." I wanted to cry at this point. " Nothing is ever going to happen to you or your Mum okay?" He said, I felt a tear fall out of my eye, but Sam didn't notice at all. " I love you kid." He smiled.

I wanted this moment to last for the rest of time. This was truly my heaven, I did not care if it was real or not, if it was supposed to happen like this. I wanted to just stay here with Sam and our unborn child. To see it be born, to watch it take it's steps. To see what it would look like and what it would act like. It was a boy and I knew that meant a lot to all of them, I knew that I would protect Jensen with my life. . . even if I just found out that I had carrying him hours ago. I wanted to stay right here with _my _angel and my child. But as we all know. . . all good things have to come to an end.


	15. Chapter 15

She was right there for the taken, I knew that I could not do anything to her. She was much stronger then I would ever be, well for now that is, but there were many other ways to lead her out and trap her like a rat. The boy would have to be away thought, they would get involved and then they would expect other things would be lies that I have been telling them as well. I knew that it would not end well, so I would have to wait for the perfect chance and then I would have to strike. I truly wish that we could go back to when this whole war hadn't started, before any of this Lucifer or Micheal thing started either. . . but if we went back that far. . . well I would not know Dean or Sam either. I would not have been shown to what true freedom is, or all of the things that go along with freedom. First I had to bring them back to their own reality, because the fate sister had it against my idea for souls, I should have known that one would not work out the way I had planned. Never believe a demon truly with all of your plans.

Bringing them back was easy, it was having to tell Crowley that we had lost all of the souls that was much harder then anything else. He was very unimpressed when I told them that we had to switch back time. He and one of the fate sister had " _A thing_" once, I did not know that angels and demons had ever made a packed together before the two of us, but I guess things have happened. But he was upset because those souls would have help the both of us in the long run, he needed them for some demon thing that it would have given be some strength to fight off Raphael's army. . . at least for one battle. I do need much more power and more strength then my older brother does, he has always been able to kick my ass. But with those souls so close, I will be able to beat him once and for all, to have heaven be in peace and have the world be saved permanently.

" What the bloody hell do you mean _you had to give the souls back!_" He hissed.

" I have to give them back, Balthazar was sent back in time and made the Titanic sink like it was supposed to happen. It needed to be done." I tried to explain to the demon.

" Well _why did you need to sink the bloody ship! _Do you know have mean souls we just lose because of your little change in heart?" He spat, driving the bloody knife in his arm through the heart of the First werewolf.

" I had to because I had to make sure that Sam and-"

" The bloody Winchesters! I should have known that it would be about your little lover and his giant moose! Let me guess, Sister dearest there just _happened _to walk on it and tell you she'd make sure that she'd take care of them after she put back all of the souls!" I nodded. " Well why didn't you just finish her off. Had your little angel with the V-Neck there take care of him?"

" Because she has two other sisters if you remember. She is the weakest of the three of them and I would not have the other two come after me just because I killed their sister!" I spat back. " They would come after me and then they would chop your little neck off and place it on a stick. If I remember you dated the middle sister, correct?" He did not respond. " It ended badly and she probably would _love _to have _other _things on a stick as well." The things that I have been hearing Dean say have been sticking quite well. Crowley became silent and started back to the werewolf.

" Well we will still be having secondary Mother over to dinner soon right? Having her could be the only key that we need to Purgatory. She has all of the connections to mother, plus the bitch can never die. We can poke and prod her all that we want, and she will never be able to jump away." He was carving into the wolf's body, making her scream. " All we have to do is get her away from those Winchesters, and let me do all the rest Mate. From catching her to getting all of the information out. Take it as a little-" The girl was now screaming too much because of the silver. . . or iron. . . Crowley just opened her mouth and sliced out her tongue. She started to spit out blood. " Take a little vacation. Send the kids to frontier land, you know that they will want to be going there anyway. Just make sure that they do not find the Phoenix." He smiled, waving his wife, meaning for me to leave.

They boys went on their mission the very next day, leaving me to be with Bobby and Jess for a rather long wait. Although I had many other things to get to. . . I knew that I would have to bring Jess someplace else soon, it was all a matter of getting her away from Bobby that I did not know how to do. She seemed very close to him now that the boys were gone, like if she did not have Sam or Dean to cling to, well the Bobby would have to do. Bobby was trying to teach her how to make little things like they were in an arts n craft show. Something like I saw on the television when I first became human and woke up in the hospital. I believe they were making bird houses. . . till this day I still do not understand why birds need houses when they prefer to live in trees. But Bobby was showing her how to make holy water out of things that you had around, showing her the proper words to say where and when to say them. Many little things like that, she was taken it all in quite well. Better then I took it when Bobby gave me a gun, although he was not very happy with anything that I had said back then. . . it had not gotten very much better since that day either.

" How much longer do the boys have now Castiel?" She asked, looking away from the holy water.

" It says they have twenty hours and forty five minutes." She was afraid because she _knew _what they were going out, how it was to kill Eve.

" Oh, it's too long!" She said.

" Hey, would you go and get me my gun out of my car. It's the old-"

" I know which one it is Bobby. Just tell me where the keys are." She smiled as he pointed to his wooden desk. She gave them a shake in her hands and then started to walk out of the door. I waited a few moments before speaking.  
" I should be leaving. I have to make sure that Rachel is not throwing a fit in heaven and destroying everything in sight." I said.

" Good idea. Oh yeah and get a new general or whatever the hell she is to you. Soon." He said and that was it.

I went to the old car that was Bobby's and found a fight was already taken place between a few demons and Jess. She had most of them taken care of with just a touch, but it was the fact that there was so many of them that she could not keep them all down. They were also very strong and powerful demons as well. Then Crowley came out of no where, well that's what it seemed like to her at least and injected her with something. Within seconds she was on the ground and out cold. I could feel all of my powers come back to my quickly and knew that she was not dead, she unconscious. I looked from the body on the ground to the demon with the needle in his hand, who was smiling. All but two demons were still standing, the other two were left on the ground. One of Crowley's men picked up the woman and threw her over his shoulder, so that her head and torso was on his back. She seemed so dead that I did not know what to do with her.

" What about the other two though, what do you want us to do with them?" One of the demons asked the head demon in charge.  
" Leave them for Bobby. He'll think that just two little demons tried to take good on Jess here-" He patted her head. " and some others came and took her after she killed two of theirs. Brilliant right Cassy boy?" He smiled.

" Very." I said. " I have to go though. Do not hurt her." I said " Too much."

Getting hurt, Bobby's soul, bringing the boys back without the ashes and then having them shipped in the mail to Bobby's house! All of that is very well known, but the little things that happened after all of that is what really matters though. Bobby trying to tell the boys how Jessica had gone out to the car to get a gun and never came back, how he went out there and found two bodies and Sulfur all around his car. They took the bait and starting a look out for any demons in the area, Dean said that he would bring some over and try out his old methods on them, _all of the things that he learned in hell_, this worried me though. If there was one thing that he did learn in hell, it was getting the truth out of people or demons. He knew ways to get people to talk that _I _did not even though, it was disturbing to watch him when he did all of this. But for Sam's true love, Sam's happiness, I knew that Dean would to anything to make his brother happy. It would take time, but I knew that soon enough someone would give in and tell them where Jessica was. I said that I would go looking for her before returning to heaven, if I got anything that I would come down. But I really would not, I knew right where she was.

Sam was in the worst state that I had ever seen him before, even right before he allowed Lucifer into his body, he was more clam then he was right now. I do not know what is going on through his mind, but I can say that he was worried and upset that he had let her get taken _again_. If he only knew that he was facing one of his girlfriends kidnappers right in the face, _what would he possibly try to do to me_? He was pacing the room and gripping onto his hair as if it would help to pull every last strand out. He was sweating and coming up with ideas within seconds of one another. I wondered if he was thinking about demon blood, thinking of it that would help him. I even wondered the vast amounts of powers that he had gotten whenever he drank the blood, but never had the courage to ask him about it. I knew that all of the possibilities were going through Sam's head right now, I believe that even if he thought for a second that it could bring Jessica back to him safely, he would down the poison with not a single regret. He would go through all of the suffering of coming off of the blood again, I could see it in his eyes and the way that he looked at Jessica. He would do anything for her, even go back into the cage for her. Sam still did not know that I was the one that brought him out of the cage. I could not look at him anymore and left the room, entering into the room where they were keeping Jessica.

She was strapped down to a table with nothing on but straps over certain body parts and chains that wrapped from her wrists to the ground, they were very think and were coated with something that I could not tell what it was. I believed it to be ashes of a Phoenix placed into melted Iron that was then made into these chains. I knew that nothing could _kill _her, but keep her down, that was something that I had not thought about yet. But good old Crowley had done all of the thinking for us. She was looking around the room and wondering where in the world she was, she looked scared and weak. I still had all of my powers and wondered what else Crowley had done to her in the little time that I had left her in his control. She looked up at me and his eyes were so full of fright. She was begging to be with her eyes and I looked away, feeling like I had betrayed her for what was most likely going to happen to her. I had to remember that this was a matter of the world compared to one little girl. This was life and death and if it meant that we had to kill a few people to keep the world alive, well we would just have to do it then. She moved around a little and I noticed that he heels were also chains down to the table, not to the floor like her wrists were. She did not seem to be surprised to see me here, did not seem upset that I had taken her either, it was more of a different type of upset.

" Ah, Castiel. Good to see that you have arrived to the party. King Demon here was just about to start to carve out my organs. I think that you should have the first slice though. Maybe through the heart." She smiled. " Oh common, all that you have to do is think about Sam and Dean and maybe even Bobby. It should be easy if you do it that way you know. I mean they care so much, if they _ever _found out what you were doing, _who you were working with_, well it would pretty much be the same thing." She said.

" You know, I really like her. She can really just guilt people so well. Don't you think?" He smiled.

" What did you do to her?" I questioned.

" Well he injected me with ash of a Phoenix I believe, right Crow-Crow?" She smiled, Crowley's smile went away and he stuck the knife into her stomach, she smiled and laughed a little.

" I bloody told you not to call me that!" He hissed turning the knife in her body, she just laughed more.

" That tickles." She replied. She found pleasure in this.

" I took away all of her powers, she is pretty much human and she is _still _laughing about being stabbed. I don't understand. . ." Crowley said to himself.

" Ever think that it's just because I'm insane, Crow-Crow?" She smiled as he ripped the knife through her body to her chest. " Ouch." She smiled.

" Where is Eve?" He asked.

" Where is your Daddy Castiel?" She asked. " I bet you don;t have a clue where he is. Does it hurt you to know that you don't have a Dad that cares. That he may never come back to help you, to tell your big brother to know it off? It really sucks to have to do all of that Huh? Try to take over his spot because no one else will? I'm going through the same thing right now, I mean _I _have someone to help me out, but I mean my Mom is going back home, _very _soon. She needs someone to fill in her spot, I guess that person is me. So we are alike you know, well besides that fact that I don't back stab the people that I love and fuck around with demons all day." She smiled.

I took the knife out of her chest and place my hand on her chest. I knew something that would make her scream, or at least make her stop laughing! I used a little wave of my power and sent electrocution's throughout her body. Her body went limp and started to go into a spaz, little parts of her body lighting up because of how much electricity was going through that one little part. Crowley laughed a little and clapped his hands, not hearing the girl talk or laugh anymore seemed to make be happy. I did this for under a minute and then she laid on her back and did not move, she just stayed there with her eyes closed, she did not scream, she did not do anything. I believe that her body was unconscious again, but I could not be sure. The silence was better then trying to see if she was alive or not. She opened her eyes slowly and did not saw a word, she just looked from one face to another, she was weaker now, barley speaking loud enough for us to hear her.

" So what do you want to know?" She asked.

" What the hell? It works when feather ass does it but not when I stab the Bitch?" Crowley hissed.

" Purgatory, where is it?" I asked not listening to Crowley. " How do we get into it?"

" I can't tell you." She said. I electrocuted her again, making her scream this time.

" Does smoking smell like bacon to you?" Crowley laughed, watching the girl's body move in many different ways.

" Okay! Okay!" She screamed when I finally stopped, this time I allowed it to go on for a rather long time. She took many deep breaths before she was able to speak even the smallest words.

" Tell us." I said, much deeper.

" Castiel, think of this first. Think of think. You have always wanted to have someone there for you. I know that you have, I can see it. You almost had it with Dean, we both know that as well. You need someone with a lot of power, someone that can help you and make if so that you win this battle. You need something, now it does not have to be souls and you know that! You should know better then to take peoples souls! Even if a bunch of terrible monsters, they do not deserve to be thrown into your little battleground. Now think of _this_, ditch this ass-raper, and come with me. I have make you something as strong as your older brother. Something more powerful then all of the angels on his side of the battle _and more!_ I can make something more powerful then even _your _God, your own Daddy. I can make something that will be stronger then all of them!" She said softly. That's when there was banging on the walls. " You may want to think about that soon though, seems like someone wants to come in pretty badly." She smiled.

" Jess! Jess!" Sam Winchester said from the other side of the steel door.

" Sam!" She screamed in a meek tone and then screamed loudly. We were not even touching her.


	16. Chapter 16

I was going the rip Castiel's heart out and stab him with whatever the hell I could find. We had looked for Jess for days without any sign of her coming out of anywhere, it was like she was taken and would never return. When we finally found out where Mother was, we had no choice but to follow that lead before following the dead lead on Jess. Though I did not want to go anywhere without her, I knew it was best for the world if I went along. Mother told us lots of things, along with the little fact that Crowley was not dead, meaning that Cas had burned the wrong bones and caused a lot of things to run through my head. Though we killed mother, I knew that Jess would be devastated by it, it was some kind of weird connection that she had with Eve that made them so connected to one another. She may hate me if and when we would find her.

We had a lead on Crowley only because after long and straining hours of asking and then killing demons did we find one that knew where Crowley could be found at. He was a big shot demon that had been sent here to keep us tired up for awhile. Thanks to Dean's amazing, but evil powers, he told us we could find Crowley, Cas, and Jess in an abandoned mental institution in the middle of no where. We were getting packed up to go and get back Jessica when Dean's phone started to go off over and over again until he answered it, it was Ben called and saying things so frantically. Dean took control and tried to tell him what to do, then he just kept saying Ben's name over and over again.  
" Ben.. . Ben? BEN!" He shouted into the phone and then went dead silent, looking up with wide eyes, someone was talking into the phone to him. " I swear if you hurt him. . . _I will kill you_. . . We know where you are. . . Just. . . Just don't hurt them. . ." He handed me the phone.

" Hello?" I said quietly.

" Hey there Moosey." Crowley's voice said through the phone.

" What did you do to Ben and Lisa?" I said.

" You should be thinking of other things Mate. Be thinking about your own little girl." I could hear the smile through the phone coming from him.  
" What did you do with her?" I hissed, gripping onto the phone tighter.

" Let's just say that my little friend has made her rather quite. But soon she will spill all of the beans to how to get into Purgatory, since you killed off Mother you know. We have had to go to plan be and make her our little test dummy. She has been screaming for hours Mate, I mean really, it gets rather annoying after awhile!" The line went to static for a moment. " Sorry about that, the line seems to do that when I change places." I could hear a woman- Jess- screaming in the background.

" Stop it!" I said.

" Sorry what? I couldn't hear that. Come again." I could feel the smile getting bigger over the phone.

" Castiel! Please! Stop!" Jessica screamed.

" What are you doing to her! Stop it!" I yelled, grasping the phone higher.

" Let's just say that what Cassy boy is doing to her right now is ten times better then what I have planned for her Sam. I have been waiting to sick my hound on someone for awhile now. Since _she wont talk_-" He said that loudly. " I guess that we will have to go to plan B." He smiled.

" What do you want?" I asked softly.

" Just stop coming after us and we will stop hurting Jessica and Ben and Lisa will also be just fine. But if you come after us, well Jess will be my dogs dinner and for Ben and Lisa, well they wont have much of a better fate then Jessica. Understand?" He asked.

" Yes." I said looking down.

" Sam! Sam! Go after Ben and Lisa, don't come for-" She was cut off by the sound of her own screaming.

" I don't think that I allowed you to talk!" Crowley yelled.

" So like I said, stay put." He smiled and then hung up the phone. I dropped Dean's phone and it fell to the floor.

" What was that all about?" Bobby asked, Dean and I looked over and Bobby.

" He has Ben and Lisa." Dean whispered.

" And will sick a hell hound of Jess if we come to find either of them." I said closing my eyes.

I could not leave her there alone with the two of them. God knows what _he _would do to her if I just let her there. He's a demon, they all lie about what they will do. They always have and always will lie about what they are going to do. I have learned that so well over the years, it's not etched into my brain, _never trust a demon_. So what do I do? I couldn't sit back and allow them to hurt her any more then they already have _or _get into purgatory and let all of those souls out! But then again if I do go and try to rescue her, then they will send a hell hound after not just her, but after me as well! There was no way of winning this and there was also no true way around it either. I knew that I would go after her no matter what, but it was all just a matter of other things as well. Bobby had a lead on the whole purgatory thing, Dean had to think about Ben and Lisa, I had to think about Jess. We would all be going our own ways and would have no one to watch our backs. It would be dangerous, but we all knew that we would still do it anyway.

First thing that I did was go and call for Cas, I knew that he would never show up after all of the things that had just happened, but it was well enough to try anyway. Bobby had already left for his own mission and Dean was questioning the same demon that had told us where to find Jess at about Ben and Lisa. Next I called up Balthazar to see if he would help us out at least a little. He came, said screw you and then left without another word. I could feel my heart sank to the ground as I thought about not having a way to find Ben and Lisa, Dean's only true happiness that he really had left and knew that he would not even sleep or eat till be found them. He was willing to do anything for them and would through his own life away to get them back and to have them be safe again. It was obvious about that. I had packed up one of Bobby's old cars that was still working with all of the stuff I would need for my _trip _and went to find Dean, who was now in Bobby's house, chugging down _another _beer. He looked tired and scared for his life. He was shaking, not on the outside, but on the in. He always used to hide his as a kid, which is how I think he became so able to shake and have people not be able to see it. But I had always seen it.

" Hey." I said carefully not to even say _that _wrong.

" Hi." He grumbled.

" Ya need any help before I go?" I said, looking down lightly at him.

" No." He said and started to walk off without even another word.

" Well. . . okay then. . . I'm going after Jess then. . ." I said following behind him.

" Good. Good luck." He said putting the empty bottle down and picking up Ruby's knife.

" Hello Boys." A smug voice said from behind us, making us both turn.

" What are you doing here?" Dean hissed.  
" I thought you said to pretty much go screw off and we were on our own." I said, smiling a little on the inside.

" Call me your double agent now." He smiled.

" Okay. Take me to Ben and Lisa then." Dean said.

" Fine." Balthazar said and they were gone. I knew that he would not come back for me so I raced out into the working car and sped down Bobby's dirt road.

I did not know what I would do if Crowley had the whole place surrounded with demons or worse hell hounds, all I knew was that Jess was in there and that I had to save her from them. Everything else was coming into my head as slow as possible. I did not know how she was really holding up or what was going on in her head right now. All I knew was that she was probably really scared and was in a lot of pain from whatever Cas was doing to her. I was willing to shove his ass through that angel fire for all that it mattered, I wanted to kill him as much as I wanted to save him from himself. Most of me knew that we were going to have to kill him, but I _wanted _to was the thing that almost scared me. I drove all the way through the state going over one hundred miles per hour and prayed the whole time that a cop would not try and pull me over right own. I was on a mission and knew that it would only be a matter of time before I got there.

I was afraid that I would find Jessica dead, that I would have to go through all of that again. I remember everything from the past or alter life that we had lived for a few days and always wondered if she remember it as well. I had thought that she did not, but ever now and then I would catch her looking down at her stomach, putting her hands on it and thought _maybe _she knew. That was the life that I had always wished for in a way, the life I had wanted. . . well without the hunting. I wanted a little family and to be married to the girl of my dreams. To have my brother to be there and to be happy with a woman of her own and to have my dad to be there to, and to be honest I did even have _a_ dad in that life, just not the dad that I had thought of. In _that _word even Bobby was happy, even thought it was with Ellen, which was odd, but even Bobby was happy with someone. It was the perfect world and then we were all shoved back out of if, one day I would bring that world and this world back to one another. As long as Jess wasn't dead again, that would send _this _world back in time, back to a very depressing time.

When I got to the building it looked like anything else that had been abandoned, empty and dark. Though there was one light on at the top of the building, it seemed way to obvious. I did not really care though, I needed to go in there and get her out of there. I went to the back of the car and got out many different guns, placing one on the side of my pants and kept the other at my side and also got out some holy oil and was ready to go. I took a took breath and went through all of the floors to get to Jessica's floor. I did not know how many times I had said the incantation, but I felt like I knew it by heart and it seemed much to easy to really be happening like this. I could hear all of Jessica's screams, they would fade and then come back as loud as before and possibly louder. Once I got to the room I could see pulsing from under the door and wondered what they were doing to her in there. I started to breath heavy and started to load my gun. I was ready for a firefight and whatever else they wanted to throw at me. I was willing to walk through hell, have to break out of Lucifer's cage to make sure that she would never be hurt like this ever again. For her I was willing to go through hell and thousand times over.

" So what do you want to know?" I could hear Jessica ask in a light tone.

" What the hell? It works when feather ass does it but not when I stab the Bitch?" Crowley hissed.

" Purgatory, where is it?" I could hear Castiel Ask. " How do we get into it? " She was never going to answer their questions. Ever.

" I can't tell you." She said. I could see the blue light coming from under the door and knew that they were electrocuting her. She screamed loudly. I wanted to cry hearing these things from her.

" Does smoking smell like bacon to you?" Crowley laughed. I was going to make sure that his guts decorated the walls.

" Okay! Okay!" She screamed when Cas finally stopped.

" Tell us." Cas said, much deeper then before

" Castiel, think of this first. Think of think. You have always wanted to have someone there for you. I know that you have, I can see it. You almost had it with Dean, we both know that as well. You need someone with a lot of power, someone that can help you and make if so that you win this battle. You need something, now it does not have to be souls and you know that! You should know better then to take peoples souls! Even if a bunch of terrible monsters, they do not deserve to be thrown into your little battleground. Now think of _this_, ditch this ass-raper, and come with me. I have make you something as strong as your older brother. Something more powerful then all of the angels on his side of the battle _and more!_ I can make something more powerful then even _your _God, your own Daddy. I can make something that will be stronger then all of them!" I could not take anymore of this and started to band on the door, trying to break it down with all of my strength.

" Jess! Jess!" Yell, making sure they were not hurting her.

" Sam!" I could hear her say and then scream. Chains were being broke and I could hear wings flying.

I could hear a dog barking and knew that they were going to send the hell hound on her at any time and then I took a few steps back and shot the door with a round of bullets and then kicked it opened. I looked around the door and aw blood every where, it looked like a battle had happened through here and I looked around and found a bloody Jessica on the floor, broken chains on her arms. She was naked and the blood on her looked like a full layer of clothing over her, there was even blood in her hair. I ran over to her, dropping my gun on the way and bent down beside her. I softly cradled her into my arms and looked at her, her eyes were wide opened but there was nothing there. She looked like a zombie almost. Her mouth was opened and then she blinked looking at my and smiled a little, but she was weak. Her eyes were going from mine to someplace in the room, someplace unknown. I looked around the room and found Castiel behind us, speechless.

" You! I am going to rip your heart out!" I said, trying to get up but being pulled back down by the soft touch of Jess.

" Don't." She said but it was so light that I could barley hear it.

" Why are you covered in blood?" I asked softly, cupping her face into my hand. " Is it yours?"

" No. . ." She was so weak and fragile. " It's. . . it's Crowley's hell hound. I used whatever power I had left to make sure that it would never come back. I have never seen a hell hound blow up like that. . . first of all. . . hell hounds. . . are scary fucks." She laughed and then coughed up a little blood.

" What the hell did you do to her." I yelled at Cas.

" I'm trying to help her! Her wall!" He said.

" What about her wall?" I yelled. I wanted to kill him more then ever before.

" It's breaking, this time there is no way to fix it though." I looked down and her body started to go back into a convolution.

" Jess! Come back to me baby! Come back! Please!" I said, a tear starting to come from my eye. " Jess!" I screamed. Her eyes seemed lifeless like her body.

Though she still had a heart beat and she was still very much breathing, Jess was no where to be found in her body. I looked at her and cried for what seemed like hours, thinking that I would never see her again and knew that she was most likely going through hell in her mind. No one knew what would happen when a wall broke, at least she had not blown up like Death and Cas said may happen. I picked up her body, taken the chains off of her wrist, walking past Cas telling him that if he even came near me again I'd find a way to kill him, and took her down to the car and started to drive her all the way back home. She did not move a muscle and just laid in the back of the seat with my jacket and shirt covering her body. She seemed dead and for all I knew this would be the way that she would be for the rest of time, she may never come out of this for all I knew. I then thought about my own wall and knew that at any moment _mine _may come down to, that I would know what she was feeling as well. Once in awhile she would come to life for a short moment with just a simple scream, not moving an inch but just screaming in the back of the car and then everything would go completely silent again. Leaving my to my thoughts again.


	17. Chapter 17

The wall had been destroyed in my mind, everything became a blank, a clean slate. I had been sent back into my own mind because of all of the things that I had seen in that room with Castiel and Crowley. All of those memories of hell and after that came back, things that I had wished that I had never remembered came back. As I started to remember all of those things though, I was sent into my mind to pick up all of the pieces of my wall. I remember that I had felt like I had been asleep, but there was no memory of anything, I didn't even remember my own damn name! It was such a scary thing to not have any memory of anything at all, at least when I had been pulled back from hell I had memories that came quickly back to me, but this time, there was nothing at all. I woke up on the top of an old Ford and felt like I had landed on top of it or something. There was a slow and steady pain in my head that made me want to scream in pure agony. That's where the story really starts.

I got off of the car gingerly, making sure that I had not broken any bones and thankfully I had not. I started to look around the dark area to get a grip on where I was, to try to see if I knew anything about the area. It looked like it was a school parking lot or something like that. It has many trees all around the area and a little playground on the side. It was a very windy night and I looked around to see if there were any houses around, anyone that would know anything. As my eyes started to be able to see more things around, I could see that there was nothing around the area besides a road and trees. There was no one on the playground, not even the person that owned the car was around. I called out to see if there was someone that may have been on the other side of the small school, but no one ever called back. The silence was cutting though my body like a razor would, the wind picked up a little and sent chills all thought out me. I looked back to the car and saw a reflection of the girl with chills. She had long blondish hair with a slight hint of brown, a beautiful figure that was coming through her white dress, she had beautiful eyes and a little freckle around her eye. I noticed that I was very beautiful and smiled a little.

I went back to the blue Ford and looked at it for a little. It was an old car, looked beautiful and it made me smile a little, though I had no clue why, I felt connected to it a little. I moved from the side of the car and pulled on the handle, it car opened quickly and I got into the drivers seat. The car must have been old because the seats were worn and used a little, but it was still a nice car. I noticed that the keys were in the ignition and started it up. The car came to life with a quite roar and everything started to light up. I looked in the backseat to see if I could find anything out about the owner of this car and saw that there was a purse in the backseat. Inside was a wallet with the name Jessica Rose in it. It was my picture on the inside of the ID, but there was something about the name that just seemed off to me, but I discarded it and put the came into drive and started to drive away, not having a clue about where I was going. The radio was on and it was playing classic rock on it, I turned it up a little and let the music fill the car, making it seem a little less creepy.

Along the long and dark road I just drove and looked around the car a little. Trying to find out more about who I was and trying to rack my brain for more information about myself. The feeling of not knowing was truly starting to get to me more then it should. I started to see lights up ahead and noticed that we were pulling into a large city, I knew that there must have been someone in the town that would be able to help me around there. Maybe someone who even knew who I was, _maybe_. I pulled into a small bar, which seemed to be one of the only places that was still opened and noticed the time. Where ever I had been, with whoever, I had been at that creepy school at one in the morning! I pulled into an open spot at the bar and turned off everything and moved slowly into the bar. There was no bartender on duty, maybe in the bathroom or something and there were few people that were around. I took my place at the bar and waited a little before noticed that an older man was staring at me.

He looked to be in his fifties, maybe sixties and did not look very friendly at all. He was pretty much fully bald and had a look that could kill on his face. He was with a younger girl with short brown hair and a pointed noise, she seemed a little more friendly but just a little. The man put his beer down and started towards me, I shuffled through my purse to see if I had _anything _in there that may be able to defend myself from him. There was nothing in there, not even pepper spray. Just some lip gloss, my wallet, and some gum. So I could look good, tell him my age, and have good breath. That will _really _defend myself from him! He smiled a little as he got closer to me and that just made made me feel more afraid of him. Something told me to not be afraid, but that was a small half of me and I looked around to see if the bartender would come back yet, but there was no sign of him. The man put his hand lightly on me and turned my seat around to him.

" You okay, Jess?" He said.

" You- You know me?" I asked, looking back at the woman who was coming over as well.

" Yes. . ." He replied with looking as confused as I probably did.

" She okay Samuel?" The woman said, as she got closer she looked a little more friendly.

" No." Samuel replied with.

" Who are the both of you? How do I know you? Where the hell am I?" I asked, looking from the man to the woman.

" We're your friends. This is Samuel and I'm Gwen. And well that's a little bit of a long story Hun, I mean you just popped up at our hunting spot one day and we kinda took ya in I guess." She smiled and placed her arm around my shoulders. " Didya have too much to drink today Hun?" She asked.

" I. . . I don't think I did. I mean I really don't remember _anything_, I know my name from my purse which I found in this beautiful car and I don't even know if it's mine or not!" I said softly.

" I told you that we shouldn't have left her in the damn hotel room all by herself Samuel! I mean really! She is- well now was, perfectly fine and was able to start hunting with us and now you have go and do _this _to her." Gwen said to the man.

" She was not ready to go hunting and you know it! Now come on over to our table Hun and have a drink, we will tell you everything that _we _know about you. . . alright?" Samuel said to me. But I was in a different place.

" _Jessica. Jess. Baby, please, please just stay with me or a little while longer okay? We are going to get you help. I promise. I will kill Cas as soon as he helps you out alright? We're gonna get you to Bobby's. We're gonna get you some help as soon as possible. I promise." _

" _What the hell happened to her Sam? What's going on?" _

" _I don't know Dean. Cas said that he wall was breaking and then the bastard just left the both of us like that! Nothing else, he just left!" _

" _Well what are we going to do with her! I mean really?" _

" Jessica! Jess!"Gwen said above me, I must have fallen out of my seat because I was on the floor and my headache was back and was full force.

" Who is Bobby?" I asked a is was helped up.

" Bobby?" Gwen asked looking over at Samuel.

" Bobby Singer." He said as they brought me to the table.

" Yes, I guess. Who is he?" I asked as the sat me down. I held onto my head and felt the world spin a little.

" He's like us, a hunter. Why?" Samuel said sternly.

" Where does he live. I need to see him at once." I said, trying to not make eye contact with either one of them.

" South Dakota. . . why?" Samuel asked again.

" Where are we?" I said, looking over at Gwen for answers.

" Washington." She said softly.

" I can make it there before dawn if I try hard enough." I said getting up from the table, but my arm was gripped and pulled me back down.

" God dammit! What in the world are you talking about _now _Jessica? What the hell do you want to go all the way to South Dakota just to see Bobby Singer?" He asked.

" I just need to go and see him alright! I need to know what's going on!" I said, pulling my arm away from him.

" I'll go with her Samuel, make sure that she doesn't go off and do anything crazy on her way there. Stay here and kill get the first wolf. We'll be find and I know that you can handle this one without me." Gwen said as she got her stuff.

" Fine." Samuel said, looking disappointed. " Just remember Jess, there a whole bunch of things in that trunk if you need anything. Take care of her Gwen." He said before taken another drink of her beer and walking out with us.

I really didn't want this Gwen to go with me, I mean I barely knew her, or remembered her. She seemed like an alright kind of person, but I just didn't really know if I could truly trust her or not. But she seemed to know the way to get to this Bobby's house and I knew that it was the place that I needed to be. I just didn't know then that I would be walking right into a part of me that I had hidden from myself since before I even remembered Sam, from before I had _" come back from hell". _All of the things that I thought that I knew, all of the truth that I thought was true. All of it was going to hit me like a brick. Most of the things that I had come back to was all just a bunch of lies, told to me by Sam. It was a song that made me stop the car, I didn't know what it was about it, but it made me pull over and nearly made me sick.

" Are you gonna be okay Jess? I mean we could turn back and go when it's better out. I mean it's kind of raining hard." I looked up and noticed that I was down pouring. Gwen got out of the car and gave me her leather jacket to put over my white dress.

" Wait. . . not five second ago it was night time and there was not a single cloud in the sky! What the hell is going on?" I asked, looking up at the sky.

" You are going crazy girl." Gwen smiled a little. " Really, really crazy. I mean first she started talking about how she doesn't even know us and then she starts talking about how it's dark and now light and crazy!" She was talking to herself.

We sat in the rain for a few more seconds when something came so fast past my ear that it made me scream and hit one of the trees close to us. Gwen took us both behind the car and looked from me to just above the car to see what was coming after us. Two more bullets came flying towards up and then everything stopped and it became silent, besides the rain hitting the leafs. Gwen took us both very slowly back to the trunk of the car, where there were so many different weapons that I could not believe. All of this was in the back of _my _car! There were guns and knifes and different things that looked like they were coming from a cult and she even held the trunk up with a gun! All of this was just so surprising to me. She handed me a small gun, what looked like a forty-five to me and told me that it was fully loaded. She took out a longer gun, and told me to keep my eyes opened. She gave me a knife and told me to hold onto it.

" Wait!" I said, placing the knife into her jacket. " You really want me to be able to kill someone!" I asked. " Are you out of your fucking mind?" I hissed. Another bullet came soaring beside my head and we both ran to the other side of the car.

" Hmm. . . I really do not know what in the worlds gotten into you girl. But if Sam saw you right now. . . he'd go ate shit because your ain't ready for a battle. Common girl, get yourself together!" She smiled, shoving me a little. " Now I'm going to go in from the left, if I'm not back in a few minutes, you drive off and get to Bobby Singer's house. You understand me?" She asked and all I could do was nod.

She left me to think about all of the things that she had said and about this Sam person. All of these things did not seem right to me but I took it softly and listen to the sound of a fire-fight full the air. I could hear Gwen screaming and someone else fighting back, but I could not understand I word that was coming from either one of them. I just stayed behind the old Ford and tired to hold onto my gun tightly, making sure to be ready if anything happened. Minutes passed and I knew that soon if I didn't do anything that Gwen would be dead. I did not want to have the kind of blood on my hands for not helping her. I moved out form the car and moved into the woods, gun ready to be used and moved through the woods.

" There you are Jess. I've been waiting for you." A woman smiled as she came out from a tree.

I nearly dropped my gun as I saw that this woman was me. She was wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt and her hair was put in a bun, but she was me. She smiled an evil smile and waved over to me. She had her gun pointed at me and seemed to know how it use it a hell of a lot better then I did, it was aimed directly at my head and her finger was tightly on the trigger. There was something that must have been different about the both of us though, there was something much more evil in her eyes then there was in mine. . .

" Well you could say that we have been waiting for us. . . but I mean that really just sounds stupid. . . don't cha think?" She smiled and gave out a short laugh. " I'm here to kill ya Jess. Sorry to tell ya that." She smiled as she took the shot and without a second to spare I fell to the ground.

" You can't hide you know." She- I. . . said before I took a shot at her, grazing her shoulder blade. I quickly took cover behind a tree.

" You know who I am Jessica?" She said. " I'm the part of you that never had a soul. I'm the part of you that came back to earth before any other piece of us did. Bet _Sammy_ didn't ever tell you that Huh? That we both came back without souls? He knew! We hunted together, we were a killing team! And trust me, he didn't give a gave if we had died Jess! He was cold hearted and even more cold blooded. He was a killer." She hissed and I took another shot at her she retaliated and took another shot at me. " But unlike you Jess. Death didn't put _your _soul back in, nope! Crowley thought that someone deserved to have her soul back, that _we _were just getting in the way of Sam's true powers and thought that if we were taken off the map for a little that it would be better for the both of us you know. . ." She said, I could hear her walking closer.  
" So he put my soul back in. . . But Sam wouldn't have remembered. . . I mean he had his soul put back in and he didn't remember anything either!" I shouted back, as if we were having a conversation with one another.

" But Samuel told him all about it whenever he could. How we were a great team together and now we were _nothing. _Which I mean is kinda true, I mean you don't even know how to hold that damn thing correctly!" She laughed. " Pathetic. Sad. _Weak_. I mean you would think that Sam would have at least tired to teach you how to protect yourself, if he didn't _want _you to die all over again." She moved closer and it took shelter behind another tree.

" He didn't want me to die again!" I yelled.

" Yes he did! Now come the fuck out and fight me you little bitch. It's time to face up to your fears and it's time to be sent back to hell." She yelled, I knew that I couldn't run from her forever.

I took a deep breath and came out from the tree's, my gun down facing the ground and knew what was coming to me. I really didn't know how to shoot this thing that there was no real chance of getting out of here alive! I looked desperately up a the woman who would end my life and looked back at the ground. I didn't want to see my death. She pointed the gun for my face and smiled lightly. I couldn't believe that I was going to be the one to kill myself. . . it was such an odd thing to think about. She asked if I had any last words and I shook my head and closed my eyes, feeling the knife that Gwen had given me, in my pocket and knew that if I was going to try to get out of here. That now would be my only chance. I could hear her take the safety off of the gun and took in a breath and held it.


	18. Chapter 18

She told me that I would be able to have the first shot, I think that she knew us better then I did at this point. She knew that I would never be able to hit her, I wasn't a trained killer like I. . . she. . . we. . . thought I was. I mean really, I have never even ran over a squirrel that was already dead on the road before! All of this was pure insanity, I held my breath and looked all around for a way out, looking for Gwen and hoping that she would come and save me. But it was time to face facts and face myself, I have to face this all of my own, I have to be a big girl and well. . . kill myself I guess. I took a shot, straight at her heart and hoped that it would hit someplace that would kill her. She was taunting my the whole time as I took the safety off of the gun and shot her. It didn't hit her at all, it went beside her and hit the old pine tree behind us. She smiled and then pointed the gun at me, I looked at her and then back at the gun and knew that I would have to shoot before her. I took two more shot, unloading my gun at her.

One must have hit because she was on the ground screaming all over the place. She had her face towards the ground and had dropped her gun a few feet away from herself. As I got closer to her I took her gun, slowly and aimed it straight for her head. She turned over and smiled, there was a little blood coming from her mouth, that's when I noticed that I had hit her right in the middle of her chest, she was blooding through her shirt and she was still smiling and babbling on. She did not try to get up, she must have known that her time was coming up because she placed her hand on her wound and blood stained her hand as she looked at her, her face was growing whiter and whiter, her eyes started to glaze over and she starred at me for a moment.

" You know. . . I think that. . . with a little training. . . we would have been the best hunters that this world had ever seen. . . well without that _soul_. . . no good. Hey. . . just so you know. . .-" She was coughing up blood again. " Next thing you get to meet is the one that remembers hell. . . she'll beg you to kill. . . her-" More blood. " Don't. . . just don't do it." I took the final shot and was surrounded by memories that I did not want to have.

" _She says that she knows you Sam." _

_ I screamed as they drug me into a dark room, I didn't know where the hell I was, but for an odd reason- I was unafraid of much. His eyes were much darker then I remember, I mean he seemed much darker then I remember him ever being. Taller, deferentially taller, but there was something much meaner to him as well. I smiled as the older man helped me to my feet, it still was something that I was unused to doing, walking and standing. He had nothing to say as he went back to his seat and starred at me for a few moments, I just kept smiling and looked from him to the older man. I have to say, from the way that his muscles slightly came through his shirt and how much her let his hair grew out, I wanted to fuck him right on top of that desk, with the old man watching if he wanted to. _

" _What? No hello? No oh my god, what are you doing here? Not even a smile Sam? I thought that you would be happy to see me back from the dead." I smiled as I moved closer. I had no clue where this new wave of spunk came from, probably hell. He then slashed a water on me, I gasped because it was freezing. He smiled a little. " The the fuck was that for?" I hissed._

" _Making sure you aren't a demon Love." Sam replied with a smile I knew from way back when._

" _Shifter maybe?" The older man asked. _

" _Give me your arm." Sam demanded and grabbed it, pulled it close and sliced it quickly with a silver knife. _

" _Ow. Okay, what the hell do you think that you are doing to me?" I hissed._

" _Making sure that you aren't anything besides yourself." He said and looked at me. " Guess you are just human." He smiled and pulled me in close. " You look good." He whispered into my ear._

" _So do you." I smiled as he pulled away. _

" _So how are you back?" He asked._

" _I have been asking the same question since your little side kick found me outside." I smiled and nodded to the older man. _

" _She was at our doorstep like a little drop-off baby. I started talking about how I was going to find you and her eyes just light up and asked what your last name was, seems like she had a lot of time to think about ya, Sam." The old man said. _

" _I'm sorry, who are you again?" I asked. " Since you dragged me in here without even telling me who you are. I think you broke my fucking arm by doing that, just for a heads up." I hissed, I couldn't control the things that were coming from my mouth. _

" _I'm Samuel. You have a little bit of a feisty one on your hands Sam." He smiled. " We can use her." _

" _For what?" I asked. _

I guess that's when all of the training started. . . well the day after that is when it all really started, Samuel gave Sam the night off to _re-connect_ with me, we had the hottest sex that whole night. I wont go into the dirty details, but let's just say that it was rough and I had to limp for a week. I knew how to shoot a gun within a week, they started taken me hunting with them ( with Sam not wanting it) within the first month, shot my first monster done that very day, and killed my first innocent the same day that Sam killed his. We were a mad killing team really, when I had my soul put back it and went missing. I hope that they looked for me, at least a little, but I doubt they did. I mean knowing what I know about Sam and all of the things that we did as a team, he didn't give a fuck about whether I lived or died. I was a _great _hunter and an even better person in bed, I was like a soldier, if I died then I did, if I lived then amazing. He was a monster, we both were though, and evil monsters.

I knew everything that I needed to know about my life from then on out. I knew how to shoot, hunt, kill things that I would never want to know for the rest of time, and that I would never sleep again because of the things that I have done. I got back to the car and Gwen was gone, I knew that she was because she had been killed with Mother's gift. Mother. . .

Eve had been killed. I think that was what started to trigger my wall to come down, I could feel everything that she was feeling. I knew that she was being killed and that Sam and Dean had someone killed her while I was away, that I had failed to stop them. I could feel her chocking on her own blood, all of her organs starting to shift into one. I could feel her heart come to a stop and feel her take in her last breath. I also felt as all of the power moved from her, coming into my body and that everyone would now be calling _me_ mother, I would have to be the mother of all creatures and would have to use my powers now more then ever. I could feel her fall to the floor where she died and all of my siblings dying because she was dead, all of her new little babies dying because they were so new. That's when I had been trigger into this whole mess, shot into this place. I have no clue why I didn't have a memory, or why I didn't just die when my wall came crumbling down, but now I had to piece all of the wall back together with nails and a screw-driver. . . shouldn't be too hard.

I got into the car and knew where I needed to go, they _must _have boughten my body to Bobby's by now and that where the rest of my soul or wall or whatever the hell it was was, that's where I needed to be. I drove going as fast as the car would take me, not giving a damn about the speed limits because I _knew _that there would be no cops and that I _couldn't _crash my car! I tried to clear my mind of all of the things that the soulless me had said about the hell me. I don't want to remember hell if that's what she meant, from what I _can _remember, it sucks, that's all I really needed to remember. All of the things that I now had to live with was well enough, I mean with all of these things that I have done to people before, all of the murders that I let happen and all of the people that I have allowed to suffer because of it. . . all of it was my fault. How would I be able to live with myself after this? I allowed that to sink in throughout that car ride till I got to Bobby's junk lot and pulled up to the house.

The house itself just seemed a lot darker then it has ever been before. For some reason I didn't feel in any danger, but I didn't feel that safe either. I pulled the gun that I had taken from soulless me out from where it had laid the whole car ride- the vacant seat next to me – and held onto it tightly as I made my way into the house. The hunter in me told me to hold it and aim for whatever moved, my body did as what _that _part of me wanted. I moved through the house in complete silence, not seeing anyone, I moved up the stairs till I got to the very back bedroom. She was lying on the bed, covered in blood that was seeping through her beautiful lavender dress.

" Hey Jess." She said as she moved up a little.

" Hi." I replied as I got into the room more.

" Don't worry any, I don't have any weapon hidden under the sheets or anything like that." She said very softly.

" Why would you think that I would be thinking that." She smiled at this.

" Because I'm you. I know you." She said. " And I know that you're here to kill me. But before you know anything else know, this is going to break us apart I think, that if you do this, we'll all be shoved so far down in hell that we will never come back up." She said softly, shoving her face a little, she had a gash above her eyebrow, her stomach was still seeping out.

" Well what other choice do we have then? I mean we- well I die if I stay here and we all die if I shoot you. I think that I would rather have us all go to hell together then just me. I'm a greedy bitch like that." I smiled, learning things from my soulless self.

" True. . ." She looked down at herself and then at me. " Azazel wanted me to come up here and give you a little hint of what hell will be like when you come back." She gave a breathy laugh. " This is what they buried us in the first time ya know. When he sliced us up and sent us straight to hell. I do not even really remember much about earth or anything before that. _That's _not my part in this. I remember everything after that. . ." She looked up at me and we made eye contact. " Do it." She said and I did as she wished. I screamed with these painful memories.

" _Well lookie what Daddy did. He wrapped up a little gift for me and gave it to me on a silver body tray. How so nice of him." A new girl said. Azazel had taken some time off and this was his substitute teacher I guess. _

" _What should I do to ya first Hun? Do you want me to start from the feet up? Or from the head down? Maybe from the middle?" She made it so that I could talk by taken the strap off, all I did was spit at her and she became very angry at this, I simply smiled. " Seems like we should start with the middle then." She did get the final laugh that night. _

_ Meg was more then just the main bitch in changer down there, she knew what she was doing. Every move that I made she had a comeback to with a slash of her blade. If I made a wrong comment, my tongue would be the first thing that would go for a week. If I struggled with her knife and tried to make her stop, I would have my arms and legs be the first thing to get chopped off for a week, starting with the fingers and toes and making her way up from there. I quickly became her pet and knew how to make her happy. Thought I didn't want to, I became her favorite and she started to become easy on me, but that's when Daddy dearest came back into the picture. _

I could feel the area around me moving, but as I looked around all I could see was blurring. I became very weak and fell from where ever I had been lying. It felt like there were a thousand wings wrapped around me, trying to send me packing and moving my way to hell. It was a fight from that moment, a battle between the wins and myself. I tried to grab onto anything around and hold on tightly, but I couldn't move anything. I tried to scream but it came out so muffled that I doubted anyone would hear me. The wings were beating down of my now, pulling me into the ground and pulling me away from anything that I had known. Hell me had been right, hell here I come. The wings got louder but as it did I could feel myself growing strength. I clawed and gripped onto the ground, trying to hold to it for dear life.

I could hear voices but I could not call them to me, it felt like my tongue was still in hell and that my limbs were all over the room. They must have heard me fall because they came running in and I felt someone pick me up slowly. I couldn't open my eyes, but my finger had a little movement in them, I grasped onto skin and held on tightly. The wings drew closer and I got out a nice and clear scream and that's when I knew that I could battle it off, soon the wings because nothing at all and though I still did not have any eyesight, I could hear clearly.

" Jess. Jess. Can you hear us?" It was Dean, he was the one that was holding onto me. I nodded slowly.

" Well shit. Cas said that-" Bobby was ct off by Dean.

" Cas said that only to scare us I guess." He hissed.

" Dean. . ." I finally got out.

" Yeah, what? What is it?" He asked.

" Where's Sam?" I asked, not hearing his voice.

" Umm. . . his wall kinda broke. . ." Dean said . The blurs were starting to become figures.

" WHAT?" I screamed.

" Well Cas broke it." Bobby carefully said.

" I'll rip him to pieces. . . I''ll destroy that piece of shit." I mumbled.  
" Never heard those words come from that pretty little mouth." Dean said very _as-a-matter-of-factly. _

" Well bet you never heard that I came out of hell without a soul too. But that we can talk about later. I have to go track down an angel. . . after my eye sight comes back." I said as Dean helped me to my feet. 

They told me how Cas and Crowley had all of the things that they needed and they were going to open purgatory and get all of the souls. I knew that I was going to have to stop him, not just because all of the souls were of my siblings, but because I was the only one that could take on something like that- if he did get the souls. As I got everything back I tired to tell the boys that I would handle this on my own, but of course they would never go for that. I told them that I would get a head start, they also didn't like _that _idea better. They thought that I would simply just stay here with Sam's lifeless body until they got home. _Hell no_. But it seemed like they were ready to chain me to his bedside, so I told them that I would go along with them in the car, that I would stay there and all of this. When we finally got going, and started to talk about game plans is when I made me great escape. I knew that they boys never saw it and wouldn't for miles down the road!

I tracked Castiel down and knew that the boys would be here very quickly, it was not that far away. I looked around and did not see him anywhere to the found, the room was empty beside the body of another angel. I frowned and knew that this angel had helped Sam and Dean because he reeked of Bobby's house. I could sense that there were many demons around and that I would need to re-enforce myself with creatures of my own liking. I knew that I was leaving myself defenseless, but I had no choice. Bobby and Dean would get themselves killed to stop the end of the world, that was their things. I wouldn't let it happen.

" _Brothers, Sisters, I call on all of you now for help. As you all know, before Mother died she made me a clone of herself. Come to me now, all of you in the state, I need you help. I am being held hostage by demons and angles and I need you to get me out of here. There are many here and I know that with your help I can get out of here. They are trying to open the gates to purgatory, trying to get to the souls of our siblings and to our mother. They want them for power, we must stop them before any of this happens. Come quick. If you see two humans, leave them be, they are on our side. Be quick and safe." _I ended it there and I could feel all of them coming.

" Very well played." Someone said from behind.

" Thank you, Castiel." I smiled, not turning. " You know that your powers will not re-break my wall, that the knife that you are carrying will not kill me either." I turned finally. " Like it killed your friend." I looked down at the body of the angel.

" Yes." He said darkly.

That's when it all happened, the lights started to flicker, the walls trembled and everything started to quake. Demon re-enforcement for Castiel? He already had at least thirty demons waiting outside for some hunters, so why more? Where was his little friend anyway. That's when it all hit me that he had been working alone lately and that I was screwed. I felt a light tap on the shoulders and as I turned I saw the little Scottish man standing there with a needle. He jabbed it into my throat and I feel to the floor, being immobile once again. I saw that there was a woman with him as well, angel. . .? What the hell was going on here.

" We'll deal with _you_ later." Crowley said and moved to Castiel.

" What is she?" She asked as she stepped over me.

" We'll deal with her _later_." He said, they sounded like a couple.

As they spoke I listened in to the battle going on. There were many of my people that were dying, many more of the demons were dead though. That made me very thrilled to know. Soon my siblings would be in here and they would come and make sure that all of this ended. I could feel that Dean and Bobby were very close, that they would be here very soon as well. That impala has a very odd sense about it, it seems too important not to have it's own feeling in this world. . . As I started to re-gain strength, I stayed low and listened into what they were saying. Castiel had given the blood over to Crowley and the female angel, they were still talking. It was the wrong blood though, Castiel had the correct one and thought that they would take it and leave. He was wrong.

As I rose from the ground, the demon knew that there was something wrong and tasted the blood to find that it was dogs blood. It then hit me that Castiel had already made all of the markings it was only a matter of seconds before all of this would from to a rise. I tired to move closer and was ready to attack, but Castiel was already saying the words by the time that I had enough strength to even move an inch. I could only scream as all of those souls moved into his body and he had enough strength to do whatever he wanted to his world and beyond. That's when Bobby and Dean came into the room, somehow they were able to make their way through the crowd.

" He already has the souls! Get out of here!" I screamed, they just came down the stairs and starred. Castiel allowed for the demon to go, but to the woman. . . well he blew her up in front of my eyes.

No one noticed, but somehow Sam had been there all along, he had taken the angel's sword from the other's body and moved behind Castiel. Sam was limping and was in pretty rough shape, but as he stuck the knife into Castiel's body, I ran over – using my super speed of Mothers – and moved him to the other boys, knowing that it would do nothing to him. I held him close and moved the hair out of his face, he was as weak as his heart rate. But he was alive and that's all that mattered. No matter what kind of powers that I had, Sam would always be much stronger then me. Sam didn't need someone to be there for him when he pieced the his wall together, as I did with Dean. Sam did it all on his own and then had made his way here- God knows how! I gave him a light kiss on the lips, holding him close and cupping his cheek into mine.

" I know all of the things that we have done together." He said.

" As do I." I said. " But I still love you for it and understand why you did not come looking for me." I smiled and kissed him again quickly.

" How did that not kill you Cas?" Dean asked, emotions flying throughout the room.

" Because, I am your new God. A better one. Now bow down to me or die." He said. We all looked from one to the other and then back at Castiel. I thought that I saw Bobby's knee's tremble when something happened.

A light shown through Castiel's chest, a bright white light. It pierced through him and then came another from his cheek. These lights were so bright, brighter then the sun. It was all of the souls, coming through Castiel's body and escaping back into the free world. I looked from face to face and knew that there was no way out for any of us. With this explosion it would kill us all. Soon there were more holes coming through his body.

" We have to get out of here." Bobby said, pulling on Dean's shirt.

" Common!" Sam said and started to pull Dean own. He was at the top of the stairs when he noticed I was not following. " Jess!" He screamed.

" Go without me! I'll stall him!" I screamed back, the ground was starting to shake.

" No! I have lost you once, nearly lost you again! Now come up here before I come down here and get you!" He screamed back.

" Sam! We don't have enough time! Now go! I will make it so that the explosion will only be in this building. Get out of here Sam! I will meet up with you after!" I said and shooed at him.

" Promise?" He asked, looking at the door.

" Sammy!" Dean screamed.

" Promise! Go! I love you!" I said, moving in closer to Castiel.

" I love you Jess." Sam said and he was gone.

The room was shaking and was no filled with lightly. I moved closer and closer to Castiel and could feel the souls running through me as well. Castiel's body was being ripped through and through by now. He was screaming in terror and maybe of pain as well. The souls just coming through his body, blood was coming from all of the pores of the angel and from his eyes and ears. I moved closer and felt the first gash coming through me, blood starting to come from me eyes like I was crying out tears of blood. As I was an inch from his body, I moved my arms around his body and let my powers move all around this room, making it like a bomb protector from the rest of the world. Making the ultimate sacrifice.

" Goodbye, Castiel. _Goodbye Sam._" I whimpered as the souls took over Castiel's body I could see the room go white, I could hear a deep ringing and then the building fell on our bodies. . .

When I saw the white light, the sound of angel's speaking and then everything went dark I knew that it was over. Then there was the sound of the building, it was the worst sound in the world. . .I tore away from Dean, moving closer and closer, running over bodies of demons and monsters to get to the crash sight. I screamed for her and called out of her, moving ruble and when I thought that it was all over I heard a moan. I moved all of the rubbled away from his broken body and pulled her into my arms. She was bleeding from every sight and was barley holding on for dear life, _she was dying_. Her eyes opened and held onto mine, a faint smile came to her broken face and her mangled hand made it to my heart. I couldn't breath.

" See. . . promised." She said softly.

" You did." I could feel the tears sliding down my face now.

" Sam. . . don't think of me when I was soulless. . . keep the memory of me-"

" Don't say things like that. We are going to get you help." She gave a faint laugh to this.

" Sam. Can. . . I ask something of you?" She asked and all I could do was nod, I couldn't even speak anymore. " Kiss me one more time, hold me close to your heart and sing me the song you used to sing to me. You remember the one. . . the one on our first date. That horrible country song?" Of course I knew that song. As I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips I pulled her closer to me, resting her head on my chest and instantly feeling the warm soaking on blood through the cotton.

" I love you Sam. More then you will ever know." She said, looking up at me.

" I love you too Jess. I am so sorry that I got you into this supernatural world."

" Don't me. . . it wouldn't have brought us together if you didn't. Now sing." She smiled and kept her glazing eyes on me.

" Johnny's daddy was taking him fishin'  
When he was eight years old.  
Little girl came through the front gate  
holdin' a fishin' pole.  
His dad looked down and smiled." I looked at her and saw her hand fall from my chest. I cried my way through most of the song, watching her breaths become shallower and shallower.

" "Take the very breath you gave me.  
Take the heart from my chest.  
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me,  
make this my last request.  
Take me out of this world  
God, please don't take the girl" I couldn't finished the song. She breathes had stopped. I slowed closed her eyes and kissed her for the final time.

" I will always love you." I whispered into her ear softly.


End file.
